To think all dentists are dead inside

[shiveringhiccup]

Apologies in advance for any delightful dentist MNetters out there, I'm sure you are the exception to the rule.

Just been to the dentist. I absolutely hate going for various reasons and find it very upsetting and traumatic. Fair enough, that's my issue.

However why is it that 99% of the times I have been, they have had terrible bedside manner, barely spoken to me, shoved stuff in my mouth or on my face with no warning or explanation, and then got incredibly huffy and told me off when I have struggled? I don't make a fuss by the way, I am visibly distressed (breathing fast etc) but let them carry on, occasionally needing a couple of seconds to catch my breath. Their attitude seems to be that they think I'm just deliberately trying to get in their way. Even though it is my body and my mouth.

Today was particularly bad, she was really not nice to me and I went to the car and sobbed.

This isn't even about one dentist, its happened like this at a number of them.

I've absolutely had it after today and I want to complain. Aibu?

[RortyCrankle]

YANBU personally I think they are the spawn of the Devil - excluding dentists on here of course

I am massively phobic about going to the dentis and the last time I plucked up the courage to go was in so much pain that tears were escaping my tightly closed eyes and the dentist just ignored it, bastard. It felt like he was drilling up into my skull. Hence I haven't been back since, despite having several broken teeth - no doubt I will toothless enough to be called gummy before long. I don't care!

[Sallystyle]

My dentist has really obsessive over hygiene.

I once got badly told off for daring to touch the counter.

He is paranoid and watches people like a hawk so they don't touch any surroundings.

I am glad he is hygienic but he is very visibly uptight over his counters.

[Sallystyle]

is really obsessive*

[AntiquityAgain]

I stopped going when she went I'll just do this without any anaesthetic. No you fucking won't. I'd finally started tolerating it as well and going every six months. She's left now but I'm still too scared. I feel so pathetic about it too. Dh takes the kids with him.

[bonzo77]

Dentistry attracts arseholes like any other profession. Hope that helps.

[KickAssAngel]

I had a great dentist. He decided a tooth of mine needed to be extracted at the hospital as I'd need anaesthetic and possibly morphine. Went to the hospital.

They are the bastard McBastard Faces of dentistry.

Quick injection, then one of them literally held my head down, while the other one grabbed my tooth, used one hand to brace, and another hand to pull until the tooth cracked into several pieces, and then they had to dig around in my gums to pull the tooth out.

It took days for the bleeding to stop, and then I had a panic attack the next time I went to my regular dentist. He was horrified when I told him what had happened, and said I should have been kept in overnight with morphine!

I live in the US now. Dentists are nice and use lots and lots of numbing stuff and talk to you, and remember your cats' names and things like that.

[MuttsNutts]

YABU.

My dentist must be the loveliest, friendliest, most competent, professional and personable dentist on the planet.

Every visit he seems genuinely pleased to see DS and I and remembers personal details from our last six monthly visit (not just teeth related things which he will have notes on but school related stuff for DS). He always recaps on any issues we discussed previously, takes care and is gentle during treatment, will happily answer questions and thoroughly addresses any concerns I have.

He is, quite simply, fab.

And he's NHS too.

[Advicepls7080]

Lots and lots of dentists actually hate their job and you can actually tell sometimes.

My old dentist was amazing but he quit recently because he wasn't enjoying it anymore! My sister is a dentist and only works twice a week now because she hates it.

My orthodontist loves it! I explained I was going to apply for dentistry but my sister out me off and went into medicine and he said that seems to be the case

[JellyBelli]

I picked mine because the practice advertises they are good with nervous clients. She is not. She is brusque and dismissive at best.

[RaptorInaPorkPieHat]

My dentist is proper lovely, so much so I've stayed with her despite it being a nearly 2 hr round trip to get there.

Sometimes it's about finding a good fit, I've had other dentists over the years who have been either shoddy or scary so I will cling on to mine until she retires (my childhood one was fairly reminiscent of Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors - but I was 5 so........ ).

Ask around, ask where your friends go and who they recommend.

[Secretmetalfan]

I'm not sure about that but all male dentists are the same when ur lying in the chair

[Porcupinetree]

A childhood 'friend' who grew up to become a dentist once rolled my hamster down a flight of stairs. Think that says everything I think!

[AntiquityAgain]

My dentists when I was a kid were lovely. Then I became bulimic in my teens and my teeth went absolutely terrible in a very short period of time and whether it was coincidence or not all the dentists since then have treated me terribly. And I don't think I'm an arse, doctors, nurses, midwives are perfectly nice to me even when they're doing things that I find quite miserable.

[AntiquityAgain]

Oh I lie, the dentist I had in the US was lovely. Though he did make me paranoid about the gap between my front teeth!

[jelliebelly]

We have a lovely dentist but pay a fortune privately - lovely surgery, attentive staff, time to chat and put you at ease - they even have a fab consultancy room just for nervous patients to have time to discuss treatment etc, my kids love going - massively different to my own experience of 70s dentistry!

[Yellowbird54321]

YANBU - I have experienced terrible treatment from dentists which has made me very anxious about going whereas I never used to be at all. A long time ago I had the most lovely lovely dentist, he left the profession due to stress

[electricflyzapper]

I know what you mean. My dentist is very good, very gentle. He is cheery when you enter and leave. He has attempted root canal treatment with me, extracted a tooth utterly painlessly, fitted a crown (ditto) and generally gives me a confidence each time my dental appointment comes round. But his bedside manner really does leave much to be desired. He does not fully explain procedures to me and he visibly freezes if I dare to ask anything to be explained or ask questions about what to expect going forwards. It is as though he is God of all he surveys and cannot be questioned.

I did once have a lovely dentist. South African iirc. Competent, gentle, reassuring, and friendly. I guess they are out there if you look. But meanwhile I am going to stick with my little God because, if nothing else, I trust him.

[Danglyweed]

My nhs dentist is the nicest most gentle man ive ever met. Currently getting private work done... much prefer my nhs dentist

[LastAnni]

I used to hate dentists until I moved to America. Now I fucking love going! The reason? They give you Valium to take before Every Single Appointment. Bliss. I actually now look forward to it: having a nice dreamy rest in the chair while not giving a fuck what they do in my mouth.

[CancellyMcChequeface]

My dentist is lovely. I posted a thread in Chat recently about my dental woes and how scared I was of dental work, but my dentist is amazing. She knew I was nervous so took the time to talk me through what she was doing and explain things, and suggested I listen to music so that I wouldn't be so bothered by the noise of the drill. The hygienist I've seen at the same surgery is also a lovely, patient woman who never made me feel bad about the staining my teeth are prone to, and helped me to find ways of caring for them better instead of seeming irritated, impatient and judgemental as other dentists have.

It's private, but well worth paying for if you ask me. I was one of those people who didn't go to the dentist for years after bad experiences, and I'm so glad I found this particular place, which has changed my opinions completely.

[LifeIsGoodish]

I know several people of my generation - classmates, my parents' friends' dc, etc - who didn't get into Medicine, so took Dentistry instead. I suspect some of them are probably the dentists of today who are not all that keen on their profession.

I find that it's better if I tell the dentist outright that I am nervous.

[SpookyPotato]

Yes my dentist always asks if I want to forego being numbed for fillings I will say though that despite his coldness he does a really good job!

[MackerelOfFact]

My DP is a dentist and lovely, obviously. Deliberately tries not to be too chatty though because if you end up in a big old conversation they can't get on with your examination/treatment because you can't talk and have your mouth open at the same time!

DP sometimes does private treatment at cost price (so working for free) for people who are nice and genuinely struggling, such as private dentures for an elderly person. He will call patients on his day off if they had difficult treatment the day before to check they're OK, otherwise he lays awake in bed worrying about them being in pain. He's spent his weekend driving to deliver prescriptions or even open up the surgery for emergencies where a patient is in pain.

It really is a highly skilled job. You need to be a clinician, academic, counsellor, radiographer, surgeon, sculptor, engineer and businessperson rolled into one.

Obviously some will lack bedside manner for whatever reason, but you can request someone different. The receptionist will know who to recommend (but you might have to wait longer for an appointment).

[ForalltheSaints]

Mine is not someone I could socialise with, and yes compared to doctors I have met lacks a 'bedside' manner.

[Skiver123]

I work for a world renowned oral surgeon and he's the coolest guy ever. The dental industry is so much fun. We edit videos to house music of operations he does and travel the world. All the dental traders and suppliers are awesome. It's such a family community around the world. I honestly never realized how cool it was until I got into it. I love it. There's tons of money and everyone is happy and cheerful. But TBF they are all private dentists and specialists. I don't know any NHS ones.