To stop throwing the balls back over the fence?

[Danielsss]

Those bloody balls. The kids next door constantly play ball games, the balls always go over our fence! We would always get a knock on the door, every 2 minutes. I ended up saying if just throw it back over, it's still as frequent!!! How do I stop this?

If they're doing it with increasing regularity, it's time to have a word with them and their parents that they need to be more in control of their ball and that if that's not possible, then they're getting too big/strong for the garden and will need to find a park to go an play in.

Even though we have a large garden, we got to that stage with ds (admittedly, in his case he was kicking a rugby ball! ). He can still do passing practice with his dad though.

Give them due warning and then start telling then that you'll only give the ball back once a week.

Ladders, gate, dog flap, better attitude...

All unthinkable, sadly.

The best solution involves making children wait a week of their six weeks of summer holiday to get a ball back, because this teaches children a life lesson.

So many sad control freaks out there.

"Ladders, gate, dog flap, better attitude"

Right, but what specifically in practical terms do you suggest? Ones that won't kill children, ideally?

Again, no one is doing this on purpose to be mean or teach children a lesson, but because it's simply not physically impossible.

CandleCat1 would love a cat flap in the fence, as he is getting to the age where he thinks it is a big hassle to jump up and climb over it and prefers me to open the gate for him. However, I don't want to put a cat flap that is big enough for the local children, because then the dog would get out through it and that is one of the reasons why I have a closed gate and fences in the garden! I know the advert for Amazon with the 'pony flap' is incredibly cute, but ...

The kids, like CandleCat1, will just have to suck up the fact there is not a flap in the gate. And languish some more, whilst waiting for the one and only toy they possess.

Yes, the child flap was the best one.

Honestly, I don't know why any of you have fences at all. Do you need that much control over your property? UNCLENCH.

Jacques, weirdly enough I am very familiar with dry stone walls as my mum grew up on a farm where many of the fields and lanes were bordered by them. The beauty of dry stone walls is that you can take a little out of them or even make a good sized gap in them to allow sheep (for instance) to travel from one field to another, and then rebuild your own wall

Yep - sure. I'll do that every day to allow the little kids to come into my garden to get their ball.

And yes, the kids are trying to see how much they can wind you up by purposefully kicking a ball as far as they possibly can? I am not suggesting they're doing it to wind me up. Having heard them playing they're doing the "I can kick it further than you game"

You never played ball as a child? Never played ball badly What nonsense. Of course we did. Except we accepted that if we lost our ball we waited until it was convenient for the house owner to return it.

And kids are of course evil Not in the slightest. I have one. She's 9. We have currently avoided ball in other people's gardens because I taught her to play carefully. Not difficult. And all part of this "being a good neighbour" you seem so set on.

Yes, the child flap was the best one

I've just been informed I should create "sheep holes" in my dry stone wall to allow children through to get their balls. Of course the fact that they would then have to climb into someone else's garden first, jump over the back and THEN through said hole makes it a totally reasonable way of collecting their ball. Rather than just, you know, waiting.

We have a two strike rule. They are allowed to come and ask twice then they just have to wait until it's convenient to me to throw them back. I've also got them to swap to lightweight/foam balls as I got fed up with them kicking it off the fence.

Interestingly it's got better since I told them that good footballers have good ball control and wouldn't let it go over the fence. We have plenty of areas/pitches that they can go and play if they want to boot the ball hard. Playing in the garden means garden football to me, so keeping the ball low and at your feet practising tackling and ball control.

I don't allow free access to the garden for retrieval, they invariably leave the gate open and I want to feel free to leave tools etc about if I want to without worrying that a child may get injured when I don't have young children. I also don't want to be sitting eating dinner and having children staring in the patio doors as they go back and forward. If I don't answer the door they need to just wait until I though the ball back.

Throw, not through

Rather than just, you know, waiting. WTF you want to make a child WAIT? You utter utter sadist. You might as well stick pins in their little child fingers, you fiend.

Francis I'm glad you're seeing the light. Next up: remove all doors from your house in case the neighbourhood children are thirsty after all that ball-kicking (which is the only activity they can do ) and want to hunt through your cupboards for a drink.

My work here is done. Come on math, back into our straightjackets before the wardens find out we're on the internet.

I'll make sure I have lots of choccie biccies for the little darlings to scoff as well. I wouldn't want them to faint from low blood sugar after all that exercise. They'd have to fight me to get the biccies, mind

I think the idea of letting kids come into your garden is best if you don't want to have kids knocking on the door seventeen times a day. Kids gonna kick, eh?

Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of resistance in this as in the uk a "man's home is his castle" etc etc
a) people feel that their garden is for their own exclusive use and it's their property and they pay to maintain and insure it.
b) the walls and fences seem too poor a quality to allow anyone to climb them.
c) people can be rather strange about their neighbours, and actually don't know or talk with them in the UK, so the suggestion of making an arrangement of throwing the balls over once a day, or similar seems to be causing a few ruffled feathers.

All this is understandable, not excusable and seems to be a national trait which the rest of the world does find rather peculiar tbh.

The style of gardens where the walls and fences are low or nonexistent seems to be a better set up for children playing outside, and this seems to be the set up in Math's (US?) neighbourhood.

However in the uk it seems that this isn't the set up, so Maths' suggestions are falling on deaf ears, as things aren't set up that way. There are barriers to ease of access and communication it seems.

I think math's area sounds more child friendly actually, and her posts show compassion.

Some of the posts deriding her and her lateral thinking suggestions are truly vile and bullying, and to those who made them, hope you all feel good about yourselves for having a go. There are people behind the words on the screen you know even if they have different opinions to yours and there's no need for hectoring, bullying and personal attacks. Peace and love y'all.

I think we all have a choice about what to do about children knocking on doors asking for their balls back, and it seems the most humane thing is to talk with our neighbours, arrange a mutually convenient time to return the balls if you don't want a neighbouring child retrieving her own ball, and play nice with everyone.

I have spent the morning gripped to this thread. Who knew so much drama could be generated by discussion of balls coming over fences? Only on MN.