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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH going on holidays

108 replies

user1467393664 · 24/08/2016 18:43

AIBU to be pi$$ed off my DH is going on holidays for 4 days with his mates while I'm at home with our DC who don't sleep the night and are up at 5am everyday? It's just for a holiday for them to sit by the pool

OP posts:

diddl · 02/09/2016 16:14

Did they know that he was so pissed he couldn't get back to the hotel safely?

Presumably they all managed to?

"Not one pointed out he needs a police report if he wants to make an insurance claim."

Should it need pointing out to him?

SandyY2K · 02/09/2016 16:16

It was irresponsible to get drunk like that and fall asleep in public. Where were his friends?

He's a grown adult and not a teenager in Magaluf.

I wouldn't be impressed. Maybe he'll think twice before going on another lad's holiday like this.

Choceeclair123 · 02/09/2016 16:17

YANBU

SandyY2K · 02/09/2016 16:18

People get stupid on holiday. Would he get drunk and fall asleep outside a shop in England?

AnyFucker · 02/09/2016 16:18

Op, why are you shifting any blame at all onto your husbands mates ? This is down to him.

Although I do tend to judge people by the company they keep

Original poster

user1467393664 · 02/09/2016 16:23

I know it's all down to him not his mates. I recall that comment. And PP yes at this moment in time everything he's doing is annoying me!

I take it it's the stinking hangover that not making him think clearly about what he needs to do paperwork wise.

OP posts:

diddl · 02/09/2016 16:26

I think it depends a little on circumstances.

I mean if they saw him passed out I'd expect them to help him back to the hotel tbh.

But if they couldn't find him-how long should they search?

How did they get seperated?

rookiemere · 02/09/2016 16:51

Klassy company your DH chooses. Makes you wonder how he would act if the same thing happened to one of his mates rather than him. Again this is a rhetorical question, which I think we all know the answer to.

Mind you if you want to stay married to him with less future trips away then you could use this to your advantage. Be terribly sympathetic to him "Aww, were all your fwiends not very nice to you. They left you did they and now they're making fun of you. How howwible. I'm so glad that nothing worse happened to you."
Next time a trip is suggested say that you'd be too worried if he went in case his friends abandoned him again, that he is too precious to his family to lose.

Actually stuff that just rip him a new one whilst he's hungover and tell him he's got lousy friends that couldn't care if he was dead in the gutter because that's the company he chooses to keep.

CedricSydneySneer · 02/09/2016 16:56

Stop comparing him being robbed to a woman being raped.

Being robbed is not the same as being raped.

He hasn't been raped, if he had I'd be horrified.

I can just imagine what people would think if a mum of a newborn went on holiday abroad with her mates, got pissed, fell asleep on the street and had her watch stolen.

stitchglitched · 02/09/2016 16:58

Well said Cedric.

phillipp · 02/09/2016 17:51

cedric I agree rape and being robbed is not comparable.

But if people say shitty about mother going away and getting robbed, they would be in the wrong.

kali110 · 02/09/2016 20:28

Hilarious that there was a thread recently about a mother going out getting drunk whilst her kids were with the dad and people were saying that she deserved a break, drinking doesn't make her a bad mom etc but it's different here as it's the bloke
No it's no where near comparable to rape, but nobody would say to a person who had been that it was irresponsible to put themselves in that situation, and it's the same here.
Op's dh has been mugged.
Doesn't matter if he was drunk the only people at fault are the people who mugged him.
If this was a woman this would be different.
I would never be pissed at my dh for being mugged just because he was drunk at the time.
Thankfully neither would my dh

Naicehamshop · 02/09/2016 20:38

He sounds like a selfish immature idiot.
Have you told him how you feel about his behaviour? Does he listen at all??

stitchglitched · 02/09/2016 20:45

Did that woman leave her husband alone against his wishes with 2 kids under 2 kali? After already having several trips away since they were born? No? Thought not. This reverse the genders even though the situations are not remotely comparable shite is really tiresome.

AnyFucker · 02/09/2016 20:57

Some people will jump to that "reverse the sex" crap at every opportunity

You bet it's tiresome

Pumpkin2010 · 02/09/2016 20:58

I totally get what you're saying as I'm in a similar situation but with 3 (EBF too).

TendonQueen · 02/09/2016 21:17

Give up on this 'you sound jealous and bitter' thing to the OP. This bloke is acting like a selfish brat. No one is entitled to a holiday so he has no cause to moan, and even less to behave recklessly while on one while his wife holds the fort.

WaitrosePigeon · 02/09/2016 22:28

kali like usual we agree

How's our week been?

Original poster

user1467393664 · 02/09/2016 22:38

I'm over my initial anger now so can think a bit clearer. I did follow up on the insurance and it wouldn't touch the cost of replacing the watch. As I said I saved up for it for ages and it cost a pretty penny.

He's mortified at what's happened and extremely sorry. Would likely get on the plane now to come home if possible. He's a great dad when he's here so I can't complain about that.

I'm just now upset that he'd get in to that much of a state that ANYTHING could have happened him.

OP posts:

DoinItFine · 02/09/2016 22:58

Great Dad wheb he can be arsed isn't worth a lot.

You have two tiny kids, it's all hands on deck time and he's fucked off on you the way his friends fucked off on him

You're not in this together.

You would be insane to have any more children with this loser.

AnyFucker · 02/09/2016 23:01

Oh, he's gooood

His near death experience has you simply thankful nothing worse happened to him

And poof the anger is gone. Perhaps you could lay a nice little tea party on to welcome the returning hero ?

< mutters >

kali110 · 03/09/2016 01:44

nope not trying to do a reversal, it would clearly be different.
Oh actually on the other thread, the mother went out every drinking every weekend And her kids were young.
The dad was not happy about it.
Suppose as they're not as young as the op's it doesn't matter though
What I'm sadden by, are people actually blaming him being mugged, on him.
If this was a woman and somebody said some of the things on here people would be rightly jumping on them.

wait yep, getting worse on here.

RealityCheque · 03/09/2016 04:01

Regardless of the decision to go, has anyone considered the possibility that his drink was spiked?

This is incredibly common for folk that are subsequently separated from their group and then mugged while 'unconscious through alcohol'. Especially if they have expensive jewellery on display.

Wtf has he taken a watch that expensive on a piss-up?

Original poster

user1467393664 · 03/09/2016 06:02

Let me assure you as much as I've calmed down there will be no homecoming tea party.
I had thought about the possibility his drink was spiked but 1. He has gotten that drunk before and since the DC's have arrived but in England 2. I have read in the past that being spiked is blamed in a multitude of such cases and the vast majority it's simply not true. Obviously it's still a possibility.

OP posts:

Bonywasawarriorwayayix · 03/09/2016 06:20

A friend had her drink spiked (fortunately friends she was with found her before anything happened). She felt a lot worse than hungover the next day.

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