DH going on holidays

[user1467393664]

AIBU to be pi$$ed off my DH is going on holidays for 4 days with his mates while I'm at home with our DC who don't sleep the night and are up at 5am everyday? It's just for a holiday for them to sit by the pool

YANBU at all. He sounds immature and honestly, I wouldn't have any more children with this fool. Going away for a few days with friends is one thing, but doing it and getting so uncontrollably drunk is just ridiculous. If he wanted to lead that kind of like then he should have stayed single and not had children.

YABU for posting on here about it. Mumsnet posters always seem to think the man should lead his own life whilst the woman is barefoot and pregnant and certainly not complaining about his wanderings.

Just turn this around... woman leaves husband with children whilst she goes off abroad with her friends to get so drunk she passes out and is robbed. You would be slagged off and some posters would recommend your kids be removed.

" So he had to go with it. "

Oh, bless the poor thing.

Sounds as if he's taking the piss, as well as getting ridiculously pissed.

I know it's a thing that people think of differently, but I just couldn't respect my husband if he got so pissed he fell asleep outside a club.

I've just had a weekend away with a group of friends. 2 of them have small children. They're great fathers, the only difference is that their wives go away for weekends too.

Regarding the breastfeeding, I know not everybody does it but an option if you want to spend a couple of days away is to express for days/weeks beforehand in order to put aside a stock of breast milk (you can freeze it).
I really encourage you do to it, even just one night away.

Oh, and I would be really mad about him getting that drunk!

The fact that drinking oneself into insensibility should never be seen as an excuse for violent attacks in the eyes of the law does not mean that it is behaviour which we all have to accept in our spouses.

I am pretty sure that dh would have taken a grim view if I had spent the early days of parenthood getting shitfaced. He would have had a point.

I can't even imagine that MN would have been very impressed if he had posted about it.

And that has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that any man who took advantage of my state to rape or rob me should go to jail.

I hope he isn't expecting you to make the calls to the phone company and insurers about the stuff he's had stolen.

God forbid he asks for help from his spouse after being a victim of crime.

That's a little unfair PP. I'm not imposing anything on him we discussed it and came to a deal. I asked him to stay closer to home and have a shorter break away? And these 'impositions' are temporary while the kids are young - 2 are a lot to handle. He's gone away on extended breaks when we had 1 and didn't hear a peep out of me.

I'm not jealous of him going away, I'm happy to stay at home with the DC. I don't need a break. I feel some people are thinking I'm a jealous nagging wife at home trying to take his life away I'm a person with two small children that are 24/7 work regardless of how I feed them and would like the person I had children with to think of how my weekend will go without him.

I do have family around but they work so are on hand at the weekend only but that's not the point.

You beat me to it Dadstheworld

I would be realy pissed of with him tbh.

And th fact you are pissed off by 4 days away makes me think that, when he is at home, he is helping that much or doesn't give you the support you need. Otherwise, I suspect you wouldn't be so ressentful.

I would have a word. Not about the hols but about his general attitude.

As for getting so pissed you are falling asleep on the pavement and getting robbed... How old is he? 18yo and single or a grown up man with a family?

He's got plenty of friends around that he can ask for help- they're a hell of a lot nearer, and none of them have childcare responsibilities to deal with at the moment.

Dadstheword - well the Op is looking after 2 very young children by herself on little sleep, as the H has the wherewithal to take himself abroad for his jolly, he should be experienced enough to handle a few telephone calls surely.

Or does that count as boring paperwork and therefore to be delegated to the faithful old workhorse?

I can only see one victim here and it ain't the H.

Why Dad?
I would have expected him to sort a situation he put himself in by a an irresponsible behaviour all by himself.

Why is it that it's his dw (the woman again) who should sort things out for him, help him etc... because he drunk too much and an irresponsible behaviour? The one who asked him not o go away so far and for that long.
The one who would like him to think about how HER weekend will go wo him but he didn't bother.
Why should she bother to worry about him when he didn't care/worry about her?

YABU. You could go away too if you didn't have a baby and toddler to care for and breastfeed. I can't believe you're expecting him to reign on his jollies a bit whilst you have such young children to look after, anyone would think you created these children together, and he was their parent too!

Or what scallops said.

"He's got plenty of friends around that he can ask for help"

Absolutely!

They've all got nothing to do all day but sit by a pool.

" I can't believe you're expecting him to reign on his jollies "

Jeez!

Does he not want to see his kids?

Help out with them??

I have a sneaking suspicion that dad and RT are blokes

Can't think why

I can assire you Anyfucker that I am
female. Not that it should matter.

Or because, She is at home, will full access to his ID and Paperwork?

I know my OH was helpful when I was injured on holiday recently. My friends who were with me were less than useless.

" I would have expected him to sort a situation he put himself in by a an irresponsible behaviour all by himself."

This is a worrying statement

Assure

Also, the h having his watch and wallet nicked isn't the equivalent of a woman being raped. It's the equivalent of a woman having her watch and wallet nicked. So let's knock that comparison right on the head.

The equivalent of a woman being raped would be the h being anally raped which he wasn't. Sure the OP would put her annoyance aside and sympathise with him about that in the immediate aftermath if that were the case.

It might not be a popular opinion but he was robbed because he got so drunk that he passed out in front of a club. Yes, the thief is guilty because he did the stealing but the OP's DH is a grown man with a family and he put himself in a stupid situation.

I'd be furious.

Dad - if he'd had his hand ripped off by a shark whilst scuba diving, then yes it would be helpful and right that the OP rang up the insurers if required. I hardly think that's comparable to going out and getting so rat arsed he couldn't look after his own possessions - and I'd say the same about a female by the way.

At this point what the OP needs is for the DH to come home with a bunch of flowers saying "Yes I have been a bit of a ninny taking you for granted. Let me try to make it up to you and promise no more trips for a long time." Instead there he is letting her know about this unfortunate incident - bet he wouldn't have been so quick to contact her if everything was going well.

But no apparently now in addition to doing all the childcare and home stuff, OP must spend her time sorting out his problems.

You sound jealous and bitter I have a feeling no matter what happens you will just get angrier and angrier at him.

So said friends couldn't find him and just went home without knowing where he was.
It's now a hilarious joke to them and have been laughing about it all day. Not one pointed out he needs a police report if he wants to make an insurance claim.