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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? about the food at a party I went to yesterday....

104 replies

harpsichordcarrier · 31/01/2007 10:32

so I went to a party yesterday - joint birthday for a 2 and 3 year old. The children ranged in age from 1 to 4.
the food was served around a table and all the children sat down - they served sausages, potato wedges, carrots and brocolli. all the children got exactly the same on their plates.
So far so good...
then one of the mums (one of the hosts) started making a running commentary.

Oh look X isn't eating his brocolli! come on X eat your brocolli!
look Y has cleared his plate! everyone give Y a round of applause!
Z hasn't eaten her carrots! no cake for Y!
how is R doing! come on R! clear your plate and everyone will give you a big clap!
onandonandon

so anyway cards on the table I found this mad and maddeningly. DD1 was getting more and more anxious, because she doesn't eat potato wedges. so when cheerleading woman said come on R clear your plate! she kept saying mummy I don't have to ewat the potatoes with the skin on do I mummy do I? and cheerleading woman said come on everyone likes chips....
I was the only one not clapping and whooping. I felt like a freak and a weirdo.

am i being unreasonable in not wanting my dc's to be pressured into eating more than they want to eat?
why when we worry about child obesity is it a good idea to whoop when a child asks for more sausages and potatoes?
AM I BEING UNREASONABLE

OP posts:
Original poster
harpsichordcarrier · 31/01/2007 10:33

oh and WHY serve exactly the same food to fifteen different children of different ages and expect them to eat exactly the same amount??
bonkers I call it

OP posts:
marthamoo · 31/01/2007 10:34

You are not being unreasonable. Woman is raving loon Joyce Grenfell wannabe.

Oh and if you meet her again tell her from my ds2 that not everyone likes chips - he doesn't

foxtrot · 31/01/2007 10:34

No you are not.
My DC rarely eat anything at parties, whether they like the food or not, and i don't think they are unusual.

dabihp · 31/01/2007 10:34

You should have started ot comment on what she was doing!

lol, oh look XXX is sitting down! Oh look XXX is standing up!! oh look XXX is making the children feel self conscious and uncomfprtable!!

QueenEagle · 31/01/2007 10:35

No, it would have driven me loopy too.

It's a party fgs, wtf is broccoli doing on the menu - parties are where you can go and eat a bit of crap imo - she needs to chill.

Original poster
harpsichordcarrier · 31/01/2007 10:35

I succumbed to the pressure and ate dd1's wedges
they were quite nice actually but on she doesn't like chips either.

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 31/01/2007 10:35

lol @ thisa topic. That would have really wound me up. Be obsessed in your own home at tea time if you have to, but leave it when it comes to a party surely?

belgo · 31/01/2007 10:37

How strange! at no cake for Y.

At my two year old's party last year, one boy's father wouldn't let him have birthday cake becaue the little boy didn't want to sit at the table. NONE of the other children were sat at the table (the adults were sat there), all the children were sat on the floor, and I'd given them their cake there. I was so that the father took the cake away from his little boy.

Let them eat cake!

Original poster
harpsichordcarrier · 31/01/2007 10:37

dabihp lol I wish I'd thought of that

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 31/01/2007 10:37

Sounds very bonkers, aren't we supposed to be relaxed around food , not treat it as a competition?
Sounds like a madwoman!

Original poster
harpsichordcarrier · 31/01/2007 10:38

she is a bit bonkers at the best of times tbh but everyone else was joining in
it was excruciating

OP posts:
nailpolish · 31/01/2007 10:39

i think its ok to serve the same food to each child but expecting them all to eat it is unreasonable

  1. they are at a party and i have hardly seen any parties where the children arent too excited to eat, they just want to run about and play
  1. even children have genuine likes and dislikes of food
  1. commentating over food consumption can encourage the chidren to shovel it in like a 'race' - therefore one child is bound to be sick! and as a rule i hate eating 'races' "oh lets see who can finish first!"
  1. i would have said something to her, perhaps 'jokingly' to shut her up
MissGolightly · 31/01/2007 10:39

How RUDE! How would she like to go to a dinner party and be told she couldn't have coffee unless she agreed to eat the crappy little mints that come on the side of the saucer? Children are people too, and deserve to have a nice time at celebrations just as much as adults!

Plus, way to give your kids an eating disorder.

EllieHsMum · 31/01/2007 10:46

She sounds like a complete nutter I can't understand why the other mums joined in with the cheerleading. Sounds like an episode of Modern Parenting gone made.

MrsJohnCusack · 31/01/2007 10:48

have her round to dinner and do the same to her
madwoman

mateychops · 31/01/2007 10:49

My MIL does this, and it drives me batty. She even does it to dh. If I don't eat, she thinks I'm 'detoxing again' With my Chardonnay habit?????

Fireflyfairy2 · 31/01/2007 10:51

Oh dear. My sister has a great facial expression for anyone who behaves like this. She presses her lips together, pulls them up into her cheeks and blinks. It's kinda a false smile but not pretending to smile at all.....it's sooo patronising..

Did Y get cake in the end?

Original poster
harpsichordcarrier · 31/01/2007 10:54

don't worry everyone got cake
it was farce, not tragedy

OP posts:
marymillington · 31/01/2007 10:57

they are the freaks

my ds wouldn't eat broccolli in a million years - no amount of adult or peer group pressure would persuade him
and i would assert his right to have cake nonetheless

but, gosh, maybe the poor woman has to keep up that kind of palaver at home every day in order to get her LOs to eat anything

Pruni · 31/01/2007 10:57

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 31/01/2007 10:58

lol, yes i had a go pruni

dd2 think s ive lost it

JackieNo · 31/01/2007 10:59

Yes Pruni, I did the expression. I can see how annoying it would be, but it might have been just the thing for this occasion. And HC, I definitely don't think you were unreasonable. She's a loon, obviously.

mateychops · 31/01/2007 11:00

...and next time you are put in that position, imagine what her poor dp gets in the bedroom! 'OOOO look, Nigel's got his dentures out, now he's undoing his tie ALL BY HIMSELF, well done, now he's down to his vest..'
(Apologies to anyone who has a dh called Nigel.)

PinkTulips · 31/01/2007 11:01

lol, dp just looked over at me contorting my face trying to do it and thinks i've finally lost it!

NotQuiteCockney · 31/01/2007 11:03

Mad as a bag of snakes.

I'm a bit of a food freak, but hey, you know what? If you want to encourage kids to eat, this is not the way to do it.

(I can recommend fuming and ranting at your kids. "How dare you eat that! If you eat all of that I will be soooooo angry!" complete with lots of fake . More fun, too.)