Controlling MIL

[arrrgggghhhh]

Going on holiday for over a week and MIL has invited herself & partner to stay. She only wants to stay for 3 days so haven't been able to ask someone to house / dog sit for the whole time we are away. Our dog has now had to go elsewhere so he can be cared for for the entire duration our holiday. DH told me she had also invited some of her friends to come over during one of the three days but apparently they can't make it. She now wants to invite some other friends and have them stay overnight. I was planning on clean sheets etc for our bed before we go away as we get back late on the night - I'm pregnant and have a 18 month old. Part of the issue is that she hasn't even asked me - she has just told my husband that's what she's doing. AIBU to say I don't want people staying here whilst we are away?! I wouldn't dream of inviting myself to her house whilst she was away on holiday, let alone any Tom Dick or Harry I could also find to stay...

Maybe not that much of a new dawn sapphire I will wait and see what the end of this trip brings! If my bed has been slept in/remade I will know as I'm a bit OCD. Then there will be the changing of locks X

I think you're being too soft, OP, in all honesty, and should stop it now or it will just carry on.

Apologies OP I was confused by your name change. Relationship with MIL isn't too bad - I roll my eyes inwardly and dh and I have a good rant when she's gone. I suspect she thinks I'm prickly and difficult. Occasionally I think I should try harder and then she fled something low level batshit.

They're here this weekend - to look after DS while we're at a wedding (great, obviously) - but the whole weekend is going o be a chore, not least because I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I need to find somewhere to stash my notes so they're on hand if needed but not accessible for MIL to nose through

Update ... For anyone who cares. After my text to MIL I've still had no reply. DH spoke to her on the night to see if she wanted any food getting in etc - she said she would bring everything she needs. Fast forward 2 days and she has told DH she's not coming at all now. Basically throwing her toys out the pram and prob expecting a call from me asking her to still come. How on earth can this be turned around on me? She invited herself and then 2 other sets of friends to my house?!

Ignore ignore ignore. Her choice not to come at all. CHANGE THE LOCKS. As I wouldn't be surprised if she then changes her mind and pitches up , friends in tow, once you have gone away. I am another who thinks your DH is just assisting her behaviour by being so passive. He needs to let her know that her behaviour is out of order.

Her loss - the "house sitting" was for her convenience not yours, so you don't have to fly around tidying up before you go to the same degree and she doesn't get to dictate the terms on which you do her a favour. PIL's stay at ours was presented to us as doing us a favour, looking after the place, it was nothing of the sort.

At least you can get the locks changed now!

Agree with PP - she will still come. You have to change the locks. If you really are too spineless to stand up to her, tell DH you lost your key and have had to change the locks.

Then, give the only spare to someone else (friend/colleague) and tell DH there is no reason for anyone else to have one, especially MIL

I do think this is in part a DH problem though and he really should be backing you up a bit more. Good luck.

sirvix exactly. I'm not rising to the bait. I too think she may still turn up. Im off to get a visa form as we speak!

Change
The
Locks.

She is going to turn up and try to stay.

Similar happened to a friend of mine. Her Step daughter was told she couldn't house sit after she asked if she could bring her coke addled boyfriend with her for the fortnight.

Friend just knew SD would still turn up as she had a key, so she changed the locks the day before they travelled, didn't even tell her DH, made sure she was there to open door to him and was the one to lock up etc. So DH couldn't warn or collude with SD.

SD turned up late at night off of last train with druggy boyfriend, couldn't get in, and had to get a taxi to a local hotel before getting a train all the way home again next day

Lose your keys therefore you need to change the locks do not give her a spare

"Her choice not to come at all. CHANGE THE LOCKS. As I wouldn't be surprised if she then changes her mind and pitches up , friends in tow, once you have gone away. I am another who thinks your DH is just assisting her behaviour by being so passive. He needs to let her know that her behaviour is out of order."

This