To book a holiday even though we're in debt?

[HalalPork]

We haven't been away at all this year or last year. The year before our lovely ILs took us away for the week (not abroad).

We've had a really tough time over the past couple of years, illness, job loss, general stresses. We've never done a foreign beach type holiday.

From a quick browse it looks as though we could book a villa with a pool for next year for a couple of grand. This amounts to four months roughly of credit card repayments at the current rate we're clearing it (all 0%).

Would this be mental? I'd like to give the kids the experience before they're too old to want to come with us (teenagers already).

We're not on the bones of our arse, Dh earns good money and all the bills etc are paid before we look at repayments, and we do still have some fun money, we're not sacrificing ourselves at the altar of debt.

Would it be madness at this point to stick another £2k or so on the credit card?

Regardless of mental health issues, the debt is still sitting there and you will be adding to it, OP.

I learned from my parents you only buy things you can afford. Credit card paid every month, only buying a new car when you can afford it and not living out with your means. Try it. It makes life feel so much better.

To some, Paul! I personally love playing the leverage game and wheeling and dealing with financial institutions. Also if I had a £15k overdraft at 0%, I'd be using it.

I am not actually sure what sock puppeting is, molly.

And inappropriate how? I believe in credit outside of mortgages. I believe I can make more on my credit than what i pay for it. Not everyone feels it appropriate to pay off their credit card each month. Which was very obviously my point.

But, no, I'm not really HarryElephante, so I guess you have that right!

My husbands student loan was 10k. Thank god it's paid off about April next year. We have a car loan but no where near 15k. That's a dream to have a nice car that cost that much. We have our mortgage. We have been fortunate to go to the States 2 times in the last 3 years (tickets was Christmas presents from my PIL's) then we visited my parents in Africa also. This we paid ourselves - it cost a fortune just for tickets. We saved up. Credit card is for emergencies. Nursery fees start again next year- no holidays again anywhere for 5 years at least if my husband has his way he won't ever got a plane again! We have friends who lived off credit cards, even bought a car on one they eventually got refused any.

I say pay off the debt first and then go on holiday. Or save for the holiday separately.

Can MUMSNET intervene here please? OP needs help and she isn't going to get it here

Mumsnet is not social services, nor a debt advice bureau or does it have MN expertise. Let's be clear about this, the most they can do is give links to external resources or delete this thread.

But they shouldn't be burdened with "rescuing" someone anymore than any of us should. Get real!

MH expertise that should say

I believe I can make more on my credit than what i pay for it. Not everyone feels it appropriate to pay off their credit card each month

What you fail to highlight is that leveraging credit is absolutely fine if you have adequate resource liquidity to service the debt at any point in time.

It is very irresponsible to come on a thread where the OP is significantly in debt with no slack in the system and start getting all "clever" about using credit. Bully for you, but how about being a good citizen and keep those comments for a different thread?

I don't understand how you can live with that much debt hanging around your neck and not be trying to pay it off as fast as you can. DH earns very good money in anyone's book and we have no debt but had to buy DD1 a new cello this year (eyewatering.. but that is a whole different thread). So it came out of the holiday budget and we haven't gone away this summer - dds have but DH and I have not. I just can't imagine spending money you haven't got on a villa holiday abroad.

Yes, point taken, daisy.

I was taking exception to people preaching that the only sensible way is to pay credit cards off monthly. There are other ways but, admittedly - and obviously, they come with cautions.

The fact is the OP has come to mumsnet (of all places) to ask about going on a holiday when she is lumbered with debt. My answer wouldn't be an immediate no, but I'd need to know a lot more about her liquidity, the structure of the debt etc etc before I came to a conclusion either way.

And, I was responding to the poster who claimed, for peace of mind pay off your credit card monthly. We all get peace of mind in different ways. Peace of mind for me, personally, doesn't come with having no debt, it comes with squeezing as much as I can out of all my available credit.

Though, again, this is mumsnet and OP would be better advised going to a more specialised forum if she wants specialised financial advice.

But point taken and I apologise for any offence caused.

Harry I think my post to the op was far more appropriate than yours, given what she has already said. So try to explain away your comment all you want, it was completely inappropriate on this thread, almost goading her on to spend more money.

Paul, I don't know enough about OP or her situation to seriously advise her either way. My post was a flippant and throw away response to you believing you were right because that's what you learned from your parents.

Yes, of course, I would always advise caution in serious financial matters. And I would also advise that this forum is not the place to visit for serious financial advice.

So my advice, OP? Take everything you read on here with a pinch of salt and go to the experts who can advise you on managing your debt.

You say you want this to create memories with your kids, which I understand, but let me share a different perspective. Even with a good income you are (or have) lived beyond your means, and now that it is almost under control (still a long way to go but you can just see the light at the end of the tunnel), you want to add to it to go on quite an expensive holiday and don't want to make any compromises. So the underlying behaviour of spending too much is still there, and if you do manage to pay things off I suspect you will just build the debt up again.

I have a number of friends whose parents did this - lived a good comfortable life all along but now are at or near retirement age and have nothing - no equity in house, no savings etc after a lifetime of living beyond their means. My friends are not looking back on those holidays gratefully, they are desperately wondering what is going to happen to their parents and how so much income could have been frittered away. And wondering if they will be left holding the can. Don't do this to your children - they won't thank you.

Londonmummy, some people are more desperate never have the option to make the ridiculous choice between a cello and a holiday.

You're obviously very fortunate to have no debt with the ability to pay an eye-watering sum for a cello. A lot are not in that situation so have to go on holiday using credit.

The way I was taught to manage money was relevant. Perhaps actually read a full thread before posting daft suggestions to someone who has stated the have mh problems? Flippant and throw away responses really don't do any good, do they? For all you know the op could have seen your post and thought 'Hey! That person does it, why can't I?!'

LondonMummy OP is Bipolar which means she suffers from manic buying - this will obviously be where she has gained some debts you harping on isn't going to help the situation

most people have car loans for that much, or loans for a new kitchen or whatever

Uh... no. No they don't, you're deluded.

£15k is a years wage for my DP and over half my annual salary. We have zero debt other than our mortgage.

Perspective, OP.

Paul, this place is full of flippant and throw away responses.

My husband got drunk and didn't get home until 2am!

LTB!!!!!111one

But, yes, in light on any mh issues, I should definitely tread with caution and my replies in this thread have not been all that helpful. Your advice is far more pertinent in these circumstances.

I do stand by my point that what is good for you and your parents, is not necessarily good for everyone, though.

7080 my point was not how she got into debt but that she can think about spending on luxuries like villa holidays whilst it is still hanging over her. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I did - but then I suffer from depression and anxiety...

Harry no one "has" to go on holiday. We could have borrowed to do so but chose to cut our coat according to our cloth and stay at home. Sadly it isn't ridiculous to buy a very talented child the next size up of musical instrument nor to buy her one that will be able to cope with the demands that are made of it and her. Most families with children like this end up making big sacrifices to fund instruments.

Most families couldn't afford to spend eye-watering sums on cellos, londonmummy. I am not quite sure you recognise your fortunate position.

A lot of families don't have a choice between a cello costing an eye-watering sum and a holiday. They can't afford either. I don't see how your situation is any way relevant to this thread. Personally, that is. Some others may see the relevance of forgoing a holiday for a cello, of course.

Christ on a bike, OP. With your ongoing health issues I don't think you're in a position to responsibly be in charge of any spending decision.

However, on the basis you're clearly set on spending what you see fit without clearing your debt first, here's a link for the future:

www.gov.uk/bankruptcy/overview

I dream of a private villa with a pool, days on the nearby beach and excursions to historical towns.

Really?

I dream of those too. I'm not in debt, in fact have way more than £2000 in savings and I'd rather save them.
Think how much more you'd have to add up on car rental, meals, etc.

How about you save like mad for another year, then when you don't have debt, you spoil yourselves?

You've just had
a really tough time over the past couple of years, illness, job loss, general stresses.

I imagine you accrued debt because of those, which can happen again. Easily.
And you want to get into more debt?

We aren't in any substantial debt, though we have a bit left over from being younger (which is technically statute barred but as idiots...we are still paying it) and are on a relatively low income. what we do is pay a deposit for a holiday that is a year or two away, then pay weekly/monthly. This way we don't really notice the little bits going here and there as much as a lump sum payment would affect us.

I say this solely as you say 'and we do still have some fun money,' so you could continue paying your debts and have a good time. I would make it clear to the teenagers though that if you book the holiday this means less days out and such as 'fun money' will be directed elsewhere.

Op has declared her DH to be a high earner, icy121, (although people's opinion on what constitutes high can vary wildly...)
I don't think she needs any encouragement to declare bankruptcy for a £15000 debt; particularly one she's so sanguine about managing that she's considering adding to it.