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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for child maintenance

10 replies

Snoreborewhoree · 22/08/2016 16:45

My daughter hasn't seen her dad in two years due to the fact he was arrested for trying to chat up a 10 year old on line.. I haven't had any contact with him since and obviously do not want him in her life.. but I do wanna be able to put money in her savings as my sons grandparents put into his and I am struggling to do so atm.. Would it be wrong to ask for child maintenance?

OP posts:
GloGirl · 22/08/2016 16:46

I would fight for maintenence yes.

Babynamechange · 22/08/2016 18:32

I'm probably going against the grain here and it's not because I don't think you're entitled to maintenance as I absolutely do.
But..... Was he actually charged? If he wasn't charged or convicted, then he stands a very good chance of getting contact and eventually unsupervised contact with your DD. Because of that I would let sleeping dogs lie as I would worry that applying for maintenance would provoke him into applying for contact. I don't think it's right but given that risk, that is what I would do xx

Rattusn · 22/08/2016 18:58

It's never wrong to ask for child maintenance, but I also agree to tread carefully.

Is he likely to want contact?

TheGruffaloMother · 22/08/2016 19:01

All of the above. Under most other circumstances I'd strongly encourage a person to seek maintenance. You know him better than us...is he likely to go for contact if he's being made to pay?

Welshrainbow · 22/08/2016 19:30

Nope is definitely be asking for maintenance.

wheresthel1ght · 22/08/2016 19:33

Even if he was charged and convicted he could still get supervised contact. He could also get unsupervised contact.

You are entitled to the maintenance BUT as others have said is it worth the risk?

Original poster
Snoreborewhoree · 22/08/2016 19:50

I was worried about that too but was told child maintenance wouldn't give him a right to access? He was charged and went to jail for 18 months.. He hasn't tried for contact ever and he's been out nearly a year

OP posts:
Rattusn · 22/08/2016 20:05

Child maintenance wouldn't give him a right to access, you are right.

For some men though, they might see it as their right because they are paying.

As he has gone to jail, it is very unlikely he would be granted access. Would you want to risk him fighting you for access regardless?

TheGruffaloMother · 22/08/2016 21:24

If he was convicted and went to prison, I say go for it. Presumably he's on the sex offenders register? No court in the land would give him unsupervised access. And, thinking strategically, an offender who's on the register is unlikely to have the earning potential to get it to court. Especially if you fight it.

GloGirl · 22/08/2016 21:28

There was a Women's Hour programme recently and they spoke to an ex-partner of someone convicted of having images of child sexual abuse. The father fought for, and did get rights to see his children under controlled circumstances - I didn't mention it earlier as her case did not have a satisfactory outcome.

I suppose it is very tempting not to poke the sleeping bear - but if he has not had access in 2 years it's possible that would make any claim he has to see your DD very difficult?

The programme might be of interest to you, but is obviously upsetting listening Flowers

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07jqr17

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