Reception only invite

[spongebobsquarepoos]

AIBU at a reception only invite to a wedding? This wouldn't even be a question - I've been to evenings only before and thought it was fine - but this is one of my best friends. We lived together several times, met at uni and lived together then, are still very close and have known both him and his fiance for around 10 years. Am also pals with his fiance, although they live in seperate cities at the moment because of work and haven't seen her for a few years. He's one of my best friends and I his. He also mentioned there's around 70 people going to the ceremony - not just family. I know it's childish but I feel seriously pissed off. Am I BU to feel like it's a bit of a diss? We haven't fallen out and he recently encouraged me to look at jobs in his area - I'm planning a move. He's also been my plus one for several other weddings. I will have to book a hotel as I'm travelling some way to attend and he's told me just a week before hand there's a theme for the dress code, so I have to buy a new outfit too. He also gave me the wrong invite by accident, for someone who WAS invited to the ceremony and wedding breakfast. Then apologised as I'm just an evening guest. I feel rather annoyed. Tell me I'm being ridiculous.

Maybe they have a very strict limit on how many people they can invite to the ceremony/wedding breakfast & you fell just below the cut off point.

People are always very quick to take offence - and blaming the bride is just sexist & horrible.

I was a reception-only guest at my former Uni flatmate's wedding recently, which involved a long drive & overnight stay, & we were fine with it.

Blaming the bride may well be "sexist" but chances are it's the truth! Just because you were fine Grumpy at an evening only invite doesn't mean everyone is - an evening invite for a close friend is rude and a snub.

We don't know it's the bride.

It could just as easily be him. Maybe he did have feelings for the OP at one point, and he doesn't want a reminder of the past there to distract him from his new wife.

Or maybe we're all way off track, and it's something far more innocuous.

Update....

I kind of mentioned to him that I might not be able to make it as the expense of the travel, hotel, outfit, etc, might be a bit much, and he offered to stump up for a hotel room for me. Of course I won't accept but feel a bit mean for considering not going. Sure he's stressed enough without me giving him a hard time! He also said he'd prefer if I could be there for the whole day but numbers were really tight and it was really difficult working out numbers. I think this is probably a half truth. I think as others have said it must have been more of his fiance's decision. As I say, I haven't seen her for a few years so we're not as close as we were back in the day, although me and my good friend see each other frequently and are very close and I'm pretty sure I haven't misjudged the friendship. I shall attend and be happy for them. !

Fair enough - weddings are very stressful and there is almost always a fallout - clearly your relationship with him is ok. Do what works for you.

Bogeyface. Yes, apologies. I was a bit tired and I misunderstood. Though even so, I don't really know why I posted that. It wasn't helpful. Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

Really glad that you've talked to him, hope you have a lovely time.

I can understand how hurtful it is though. I have a cousin who was more like a sister as we grew up, as a consequence I see her kids as a kind of niece and nephew, I've spent lots of time with them and have spoilt them as they've grown up. Her son married a few years ago and it was a lovely family occasion, including his mother, grandmother and sister there were 20 family members there all day. His sister is marrying next year, having quite a big wedding with 120 day guests and aside from her immediate family of five people she's invited 4 other family members - my parents and my aunt and uncle - to the ceremony and wedding breakfast. The rest of us are evening only and I admit to feeling hurt and snubbed.

Good call, OP

I would decline, it sounds like a snub, and call him and tell him, sorry it's a lot of faff for an evening do, jokingly ask where my proper invite was!

Oh right, just read your update, looks like it is from her. Good on you.

You're better than me OP - At least you'll be there to support him though the divorce!