to request payback tactic suggestions for nightmare neighbour?

[annoyedofnorwich]

Yes, I know I should turn the other cheek and yes I will refrain from doing anything daft, but humour my daydreaming about ways to irritate her, please! Suggestions of things you've done or things you'd love to have done when landed with a nightmare neighbour?

[daisychain01]

If this is one of those light hearted threads fair enough.

But I'd be aware that if you do sufficient to create disputes with your neighbours by being goody rather than amicably sorting things out, you could risk devaluing the price of your property.

Just saying....

You sound a bit over invested.

[daisychain01]

Goady

[annoyedofnorwich]

You're a bit late daisy chain. Definitely has been a dispute! No intention to sell though so hopefully it won't have an effect. Over invested? No, just think she's a twat and have enjoyed the ideas people have come up with!

On the peacock subject, I can't find the thread- anyone point me the right way?

[annoyedofnorwich]

Who's goad, you?

[annoyedofnorwich]

Sorry, goady! Autocorrect does not believe goady is a word!

[annoyedofnorwich]

Oh... just realised I'm dim and your Autocorrect has turned goady into goody! As you were..!

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Bird seed the lawn with cheap mixed seed. If it doesn't attract the birds, loads of small plants will pop up. Quite amusing when the person in question is quite house/garden proud. And yes, I was very severely provoked by my thieving bat shit neighbour dh's best friend's now ex wife

[annoyedofnorwich]

Sadly she has no garden and doesn't appear very house proud! Sounds like a complicated neighbour situation you had!

[daisychain01]

Hey no offence intended annoyed Was just concerned you don't go too OTT and cause yourself future selling issues. Sounds like that's a bit late if you've already had a dispute,

How about a "good luck with your forthcoming house move" card? Maybe give her a hint

Btw we've just had new neighbours move in, the last ones were an utter nightmare. So fingers crossed the new ones are better behaved!

[annoyedofnorwich]

Oh so tempted to send her that card! Yes a bit late- we tried to avoid an official dispute but sadly she pushed too far! Shame as without the dispute maybe she would have have sold or rented by now. Can't imagine new neighbours or renters could be any worse- we'd hold them a welcome party!!

[WhooooAmI24601]

If you have small children the very best punishment for shitty neighbours is to feed them some sweets when they get up at 6am and let them run feral about the garden with jousts and weapons and nerf guns. Maximum points for them if they're over-tired and mardy as they're more likely to shout and scream at one another.

Our lunatic neighbour likes to have bbq's on summer weekends which go on until 6am, whilst serenading the neighbourhood with Coldplay on repeat as she gets progressively spannered. So I release the DCs into the garden as soon as they get up and she cries out of her bedroom window "I've got a hangover, pleeeeeeease keep them quiiiiiiiiet" and I silently smile as I drink my tea and imagine the ways I'd like to insert the karaoke machine into her.

[TwatbadgingCuntfuckery]

Minisoksmakehardwork

My neighbour claimed that the only dandelion seeds seeding his garden were the ones from my garden. So he put a tarp up over the handrail to stop them spreading

Anyway. He was convinced it was working it wasn't so I helped things along with some carefully made dandelion seed bombs I dropped into his garden when ever he went out.

He still huffs and puffs over the dandelions but im one of those people who grows dandelions in pots next to my front door. they are a fab free food. Flowers in oil and salads. Leaves I'm casseroles of salads and roots in stir fries and home brew.

[Evilstepmum01]

Twatbadgingcuntfuckery,

you have quite possibly the most brilliant username ever!

You eat dandelions? we pick them for rabbits, didnt realise you could eat them!

OP-music, noisy kids, higher fences or trellis? Enjoy!!

[RockyBird]

Do you stay next door to my mother, OP?

She has a neighbour dispute or two wherever she goes.

She put raw fish into the grille of her neighbour's car for the heinous crime of parking on "her" side of the road. Public highway, no driveways.

[TwatbadgingCuntfuckery]

Evilstepmum01 yep you can eat them! All parts too. Take the green bits off the flowers and steep them in oil - sunflower is good. It'll change to a deeper yellow. Great for dressing salads with.

The roots can be used to make coffee too.

[Farmmummy]

Guinea fowl easier to look after than peacock but similarly noisy! Also I may once have know someone who ordered a craftmatic adjustable bed for an ex who stupidly signed for it before realising what was being delivered

[AdjustableWench]

Tuba.
At 6am.
If you can blow a raspberry with your lips you can get a note out of a tuba. Not sure what they cost to rent for a few months weeks, but you could be reasonably proficient within a fairly short space of time, especially with a bit of youtube self-teaching.
Then you could join a beginners' band and organise rehearsals at your house.

Although actually the peacock thing is probably less of a commitment.

[justilou]

I grew up in Australia where we have a major problem with imported cane toads that have no predators and are poisonous to wildlife. The kindest way to kill them is to put them in a plastic bag and throw them in the freezer. My dad made a slingshot out of a bicycle inner tube and would fling frozen cane toads onto the flat iron roof of the neighbours (who used to play Christian rock music at all hours of the night - amongst other un-neighbourly things) where they would a) Make a hell of a noise when they landed and b) rot and stink in the sunshine.

[justilou]

Oh, and he planted trees with red berries, blue berries and white flowers so the birds and bats would crap red, white and blue all over their cars/house/laundry....

[VioletBam]

Lou that's a myth. It's not a kind way to kill anything actually. I know cane toads are a massive problem but there are faster ways to off them.

[theoldtrout01876]

I keep 2 composting barrels my side of the fence right next to their deck. I have my veggie patch manure delivered the weekend of their annual extended family barbecue. I have a "wildlife patch" that is behind my garage but in full view of their front windows, Feral raspberries, thistles, some kind of out of control vine . Danelions in their lawn? from my side of the fence? NOOOO, Really? cunts
When I snowblow in the winter I have it set so it blows snow onto the top of the pile between our property but it slowly rolls /slides down into theirs cunts
Low hanging berry laden trees are left un clipped, purple bird shit on your cars, Clogged pool filters ? Really? cunts
Before anyone says anything, they have trampled all over my privacy and done whatever they wanted property wise with no regard to how it effects mine ( their permanent- temporary driveway causes mine to flood )
CUNTS

[Airandmungbeans]

She sounds nuts! We had awful neighbours, ended up moving because of them, but whenever they were going through really bad phase of playing loud music at all hours, we gave DS (4) a violin to play before breakfast! Hearing them complain about it was so satisfying.

[limitedperiodonly]

I have a lot of chicken in my freezer. A whole one looks a bit like a toad, but they are always dead before they go in. I can't believe freezing to death is a nice way to go and as a method of pest control it seems a bit labour intensive.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

Take up the piano/keyboard and play umpteen scales incessantly, always remembering to get at least one note wrong in each.

[SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires]

Get a few shop dummies then paint them white with a creepy clowns face and stand them facing her windows, or just use the painted head with a creepy clown face and the hands place on the top of the wall. evil