to request payback tactic suggestions for nightmare neighbour?

[annoyedofnorwich]

Yes, I know I should turn the other cheek and yes I will refrain from doing anything daft, but humour my daydreaming about ways to irritate her, please! Suggestions of things you've done or things you'd love to have done when landed with a nightmare neighbour?

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

If you want to do the outside thing of you may I recommend a blow up doll and also get pictures of your face printed to match the size of the blow up doll then leave that out. Less faff to bring in when it rains and if you laminate the face picture then that will withstand some rainy days

[annoyedofnorwich]

Limited yes it was- they had a word with her too. Well played with the email!

I just, I don't know much about bipolar, maybe.

Ha peppa- so many options!

[limitedperiodonly]

OP I don't know about MN's Magic Talisman of logging things with 101 but my police force has a Safer Neighbourhoods Team. Find out if you have something similar because they were really good. Their job is what it says on the tin. They just want everyone to live in peace.

They couldn't prosecute her and her husband, though they did look into it, but simply advising us about security and CCTV (quite cheap for us) and having a stern word with them stopped the day-to-day confrontation and the petty damage and intrusion. That was great because it's exhausting and makes you feel both persecuted and murderous at the same time.

They couldn't intervene in the civil dispute we had between us, but at least some of the harassment stopped, leaving us free to deal with the rest of it.

I completely sympathise with your wish for revenge. It's good to fantasise, especially in the jokey way you have, but often not so good to act on it. I expect you know that, though.

Best wishes and keep your eyes peeled for any stupid mistakes, like abusing the company's email

[legotits]

Hmm.

I would get a Cockerell.

And then another.
Etc.
New security lights too, incase anyone visits the Cocks.
I bet they fuck off before you get five.

[blankmind]

Be the best happy family you can be outdoors whenever you are in her sights. Kind, loving, considerate towards each other, always hugging and smiling and laughing.

[Youremywifenow]

You need a t-shirt which says 'my neighbour is a cunt', go outside with a cardi on and when she's taking your photo turn round, open it and point at your slogan.

[StarryIllusion]

Download the free virtual pianist app if you have a tablet. Practice it at maximum volume at 6am with all windows open. Then when she complains "piano, officer? I don't have a piano. Of course you're welcome to come and look." They're rather harsh with people who waste their time, I hear.

[Niggit]

Get a couple of tubs of crickets (reptile/tarantula food from your local Pets At Home or similar). Make sure they're not silent ones - it'll tell you on the label. Post them through her letterbox when she's not there, ideally without the tubs (evidence) but certainly without the lids, so they run away and hide. The chirruping is like Chinese water torture.

We had a couple living next door to us for a while who were awful for multiple reasons.. Me and my two DC used to play lead guitar (DS), drums (DD) and bass guitar (yours truly) in our conservatory, but we never did it at antisocial hours or for very long . However, the neighbours started playing a Maroon 5 song at top volume on their sound system with the speakers pointing at the party wall (we could see them)...so we learned to play that and whenever they did it we used to join in

[annoyedofnorwich]

Some great ideas, thank you all, has cheered me up! Blank, I think you might be onto something!

[blueturtle6]

Talk loudly to friends in your garden about her? Make her realise what she's doing?
On a serious note though could she have a mental health issue?

[blankpieceofpaper]

Photograph her photographing you.

[annoyedofnorwich]

I don't think she cares turtle- I think she thinks we're unreasonable! Would probably not even see that what she does is unpleasant- quite delusional! Yes I think you're probably right- but I doubt she'd accept help for it.
Police got back to me, not much they can do about her taking photos.

[Velvetdarkness]

Get a peacock. I've been reliably informed on my own thread that it's about the most unneighbourly thing you can do.
I can tell you where to buy one

[annoyedofnorwich]

I would looooove a peacock! But people keep telling me they are tricky to look after and like to vanish!

[justilou]

If she's really paranoid, perhaps you could get some friends to dress up like old-style private detectives and pretend to spy on her and take her photo. She will probably go more insane, but then you can get everyone to deny it.

[nursepearl]

Give your child a recorder to play loudly in the garden. Nothing is as tuneless as a child learning to play the recorder.

[SaucyJack]

Literally in the mailbox? Do you need to be tall for that?

[HicDraconis]

Have lots of BBQs especially when the wind is blowing smoke in the direction of her house. Have friends round for them, be all happy and jolly and then get one of your friends to say in a really loud totally surprised voice "Good Lord, annoyed - I do believe your neighbour is taking photos of us all! How bally odd!" and then all laugh loudly and carry on.

Definitely get some backyard chickens. Preferably closer to her side, so the smell and the flies from the coop irritates her (I clean mine out weekly and we still get flies!). The hens make some great squawking noises at random moments throughout the day when they lay an egg.

Download a white noise app and play it with the speaker turned against her adjoining wall, drives me bananas when I hear white noise but can't find wherever it's coming from to turn it off.

If you have children, encourage one of them to learn the drums and get them a practice kit - acoustic, not electronic. They could practice early in the morning before school with the windows open (not that we actually did this, no not at all. Oddly our neighbour hasn't complained about our dog - that never barked anyway! - since DS2 started learning the drums). If he or she can get some mates round to form a band for regular weekend rehearsals, so much the better :)

Sign them up for lots of junk mailing, add their phone number to lots of mailing lists and databases, contact your local JW and say you've just moved into the area and would like to be contacted as you're hugely interested in joining - any time, day or night is good - and give your neighbour's address.

That should do for starters :)

[biggles50]

Blair Witch stick arrangements on her front lawn every morning.

[annoyedofnorwich]

My goodness what did someone say that was worthy of deleting! Hicdraconis I will be adding 'how bally odd' to my list of phrases to use!

[LaserShark]

I have nightmare neighbours and just put my house on the market. That feels quite satisfying and the hope that I have only a limited amount of time before they are out of my life forever is very sustaining.

[AbyssinianBanana]

A garden you say? Have you read the thread about what bastard pets peacocks make?

[annoyedofnorwich]

No I haven't but am going to look for it now!