AIBU to tell off my adult daughter?

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

I genuinely can't work out if I am being unreasonable or not. Do you tell off your adult children if they misbehave?

My dd did something really rude and ignorant the other day and I just can't work out whether I should tell her off about it. I didn't raise her to be rude and ignorant! On the other hand, she's not a kid anymore so am unsure whether to say anything.

WWYD?

I just got told off AND full named because my Mum thought I'd picked a scab which will scar I haven't, it came off when I was exfoliating

I'm 30, married and pregnant.

Being rude is not nice but I'm not sure that you can blame her for being ignorant?

Audrey I'm a picker and my mum would always mutter darkly about erysipelas. Don't open this link if you're a bit squeamish.

It's pre-antibiotic thing like TB and syphilis. She was quite old.

Limited excellent link! Grotty skin diseases are excellent to pass the time looking up! I'm a picker, but feel like I've been unjustly told off because I didn't actually pick this scab! So now I'm just getting told off for exfoliating, because "your baby's tiny feet are under that scab!"

Good point Grumpy :o

I very much hope I am not raising a daughter who will meekly accept "an ear bashing" as an adult - from me or anyone else.

Telling an adult off is indeed rude and ignorant in itself. Disagreeing with an adult and saying so is all good, but "telling off" and giving out an "earbashing" shows you still believe you have power over them - its intended to humiliate unless the recipient of the telling off is so young that the very unequal power relationship is unavoidable. Never an adult.

Depends. My mum on occasion tries to tell me off, but I won't take it. Once you lie and cheat, you lose your authority over your children, whatever their age. If you have always behaved with integrity & earned her respect, it is different.

I'm with Grumpy here; there's no call for rudeness, and I think it's fair to pull someone up on being rude, but ignorance? Weird! What kind of ignorance warrants being told off by one's mum? Not knowing when her birthday is? Mispronouncing something? Not knowing the capital city of Switzerland? Surely it's better to just have a quiet word and give her the knowledge she is missing, not shame her for her ignorance by giving her an "earful". We're all ignorant of lots of things and it doesn't make us bad people: what we don't know, we can learn.

Audrey does she think you will exfoliate all the way through to your baby? That is exactly what my mum would have worried about .

I used to gnaw the inside of my cheek - I've been in cheek-biting rehab for years but oh, how I run my tongue along it and still long to do it. While I was still doing it she would always tell me I'd bite through. Not possible. Your cheek's about an inch thick and it would hurt way before you got anywhere near it.