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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to stitch his scrotum to his penis without gas and air?

112 replies

SlimCheesy2 · 19/08/2016 11:07

... Okay to be fair I am really angry and am venting on here rather than at my best friend. My best friend is about to have her second child. She is 43, years of IVF for the first and fell for the second naturally. We had coffee yesterday and she said she was hoping to give birth naturally. Her DH who was in the kitchen at the time gave a snort. BF demanded to know what he meant by that and he said that she had hardly given birth naturally LAST time. BF got weepy and reminded him that she had given birth without drugs but had needed gas and air to be stitched back up. His comment was; Yeah. You wimped out'.

He meant it too. He is very anti drugs, medical intervention stuff anyway, though to be fair I am not his greatest fan (as I find him quite obnoxious and controlling) so anything he says winds me up. I left soon after that because BF was getting anxious and upset and it was not helping me being there.

But I want so badly to tell him that until he can pass a watermelon out of his arse he doesn't get to have an opinion on what 'wimping out' means.

I am really really really cross and feeling quite impotent as BF is literally days from giving birth so does not need me to give her my feelings on this so venting 'safely' via MN.

OP posts:

Thattimeofyearagain · 19/08/2016 12:04

You nail his knob to the table- I'll pass you the nails and call him a wimp

Togaparties · 19/08/2016 12:16

Let's hope he gets kidney stones. I'd love to see him turn down a shot of pethidine and some gas & air. He'd rip their bloody arm off.

VestalVirgin · 19/08/2016 12:18

What a fucker. If I were her, I might have a cesarean section just to annoy him. (Okay, no, actually, I would get divorced, have a home birth if at all possible, and then tell him I got cesarean section and was high on painkillers for the entire recovery period and that that's just the beginning of an awesome life without him.)

Seriously. He sounds like an abusive asshole just from that tiny thing you told us about him.

currentlyunavailable · 19/08/2016 12:21

Agreed with ZansSerif

Giving birth with pain relief does not make you a wimp.

Being smug and thinking you deserve a medal for any decision about giving birth makes you an imbecile. You chose what you think is best at the time if you are lucky, or you go with medical advice if you are less lucky. If you believe that having a "natural" birth is best for you and baby, go for it. If you believe that epidural or other pain relief are best for you and baby, same. Your choice, but you are not better or worst for it.

Having strong opinions and being against pain relief when you are not medically involved in the case and you are not the one giving birth makes you a twat.

DailyMailEthicalFail · 19/08/2016 12:27

Jesus.
She's been through 'years of IVF' (no picnic)
and her body has grown a whole new human being
AND endured the labour of childbirth
to 'give him a child' and he criticises her 'for being a wimp'?

pass the nails...

(H 'got queasy' during C-sec with Dd.
He fainted dramatically. I told them to step over him!)

RunnyRattata · 19/08/2016 12:28

Yy kidney stones for him please. Big ones.

glitterwhip · 19/08/2016 12:41

He banned her from having her best friend as her bridesmaid because you dared to challenge him? ..oh he's an utter cuntwaffle

woowoowoo · 19/08/2016 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 19/08/2016 13:04

I hate this man, too, and I haven't even set eyes on him.

So he's not going to be there at the birth, is that right? Lucky she's got a good mum. I would hate to see my daughter with a man like that.

VestalVirgin · 19/08/2016 13:32

It must make all his dental procedures so much cheaper without having to pay for all that unnecessary pain relief - I assume he has never "wimped out" while having a filling?

I cannot imagine. I mean, I had a filling without pain relief, and I am but a frail and delicate woman - surely, this brave macho man would never ask for pain relief while having a filling.

I don't have the comparison, but am quite sure that giving birth is much more painful.
Having kidney stones, I am told, is the worst pain ever experienced by man, so let's hope he gets them. Big ones. And then passes them without pain relief. I think that'd feel about somewhat like giving birth.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 19/08/2016 13:37

What a disgusting, pig ignorant wankstain.

I'd call him a cunt, but a cunt can withstand pain.

Your poor friend.

Uhohheregoes · 19/08/2016 13:38

Root canal with no anaesthetic for him!!

Babyzoo · 19/08/2016 13:40

Yanbu he's a tosser.

I always hope that karma comes for people like that.

I do worry about people like him though, would he let his children be in pain because of his beliefs?

Original poster

SlimCheesy2 · 19/08/2016 13:41

She's got a great mum. And he is a great, very hands on dad. Went p/t when the first baby was born an encouraged my BF to go p/t also because they wanted to spend all the time they could manage. Has loads of very good points. Not a disney dad, full on proper dad.

The BM thing- if I said what it was I would be accused of drip feeding but basically I told him where to go on something I thought he was out of order on. I may well have over reacted as it was decades ago (they married at 19) and I was alot more vocal then about things.

OP posts:

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 19/08/2016 13:46

As I was on the drip to speed up my (fucking agonising) contractions, DH pulled his back. Being a sensible type, he didn't mention it until much, much later...

BlueFolly · 19/08/2016 13:54

He sounds awful!

PersianCatLady · 19/08/2016 13:56

I saw this on Facebook the other day, perhaps your BF should show this to her DH??

I have subsequently found out that what it says is not scientifically accurate but he doesn't have to know that.

To want to stitch his scrotum to his penis without gas and air?

Original poster

SlimCheesy2 · 19/08/2016 13:59

paperdoll i just watched the video you posted. Very good.

OP posts:

Blu · 19/08/2016 14:08

He sounds like an emotionally abusive controlling twat.
Banning HER bridesmaids that don't drink his Kool Aid, trying to dictate how she handles birth, being sneery and dismissive of the woman who is about to birth his baby, in a process he cannot even begin to watch.

Just be there for your friend.

There is no moral point scoring in being a wimp or not being a wimp, needing or choosing pain relief or not. It doesn't matter if she wants pain relief in order to have her blood pressure taken, it's still out of order and nasty to belittle her like that.

Forget him, just be there for her, now and after the baby is born.

VestalVirgin · 19/08/2016 14:10

@Persian: if that was scientifically accurate, then it would logically follow that women are superhuman.
Which is somewhat nonsensical. Women are human. If men cannot stand as much pain, well, bad for them, but the maximum of pain a human can stand is clearly the maximum of pain humans, regardless of sex, have been known to go through. (What is that supposed to mean, anyway? Do people faint at that kind of pain? Die on the spot? What?)

paddypants13 · 19/08/2016 14:21

What a knob jockey. How dare he say those things to your friend. What a controlling, unpleasant arse.

Thank goodness he won't actually be in the room whilst she's giving birth. I do hope the midwife catches him having a go at your friend over something and has a go at him.

CastleFeck · 19/08/2016 14:22

Did he partly say it to annoy you?

PersianCatLady · 19/08/2016 14:34

@Persian: if that was scientifically accurate, then it would logically follow that women are superhuman
I know that that is why I said "I have subsequently found out that what it says is not scientifically accurate but he doesn't have to know that."

As it didn't ring true to me I checked it out and found out that basically it is nonsense but I still thought that I would share it.

That is OK isn't it?

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary · 19/08/2016 14:35

Hang on, hang on.

He can't be in the room because watching, not experiencing, this process makes him come over a bit funny? His partner having something to take the edge (or pointy, stabby, repeated needle piercing) off is wimping out?

I'd call him a cunt but he's not as productive.

Original poster

SlimCheesy2 · 19/08/2016 14:36

If he did Castle then it worked. :)

OP posts:

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