To think that not being on facebook makes you FAR less accessible generally

[WoburnSands]

I've been both on it and off it - came off it completely a while ago - in 2011. I don't miss it one bit. It was a great novelty when I first went on it in about 2008 - but after that the novelty sort of wore off.

I'm happy I the knowledge that the people I don't want to bother with at all - now can't find me! - I also love having the 'privacy' of not being on it!!

But you don't have to post to be on Facebook so how are there privacy issues. I'm on it and do check it daily. I find out about a lot of local events and news about local issues. We're off to an event sunday that I'd never have known about without facebook. Then I follow various political stuff and other stuff that interests me.

I rarely post anything just like a few things mates are doing. I don't get the privacy thing you don't have post anything if you don't want to.

I love Facebook. I've been on it for years and never had any of the issues I've heard reported. I like the people I have as FB friends; if it turns out I've misjudged someone there's the option to unfollow/defriend/block. I don't post stuff that would cause me problems if shared beyond my friends, I don't have my employer listed or post derogatory stuff about work, and I review my privacy settings with each new upgrade. It's brilliant for keeping in touch with people, for organising things quickly, for finding out what's going on - both locally and wider, much more so than traditional mainstream media (probably second only to Twitter on the latter score) - and as a repository for photos. I appreciate there's a certain amount of data mining going on which is why I don't necessarily use my real details (DOB etc) when signing up to any social media site - MN included - and I have a separate webmail address that is only used for site registrations.

Use it or don't, whatever suits you. Luckily it's still optional.

I have a fb I use a lot, local home ed groups, events, friends overseas. But I have very few people on it and the tightest security.

I never understand the need for people to start these type of threads "I don't use a social media site" type thing - Facebook isn't compulsory. Not sure if this thread will have the same tone as all of the others that I've read about this - when it's clear some people think they are better than people who do use Facebook because they don't.

I use it a lot, local groups in my home and work towns tell me what's happening, traffic news faster than official sources etc. I follow all sorts of blogs/groups about my interests, lots of local businesses that I use, keep in touch with friends and family in far flung places. I have my privacy settings finely tuned but never post anything that is properly private, never refer to work and don't have colleagues as friends. Never, ever post when I've been drinking.

Why don't you use facebook for the bits you find useful. You don't have to have any friends, you don't have to post any photos. I don't get all the angst and security settings palaver. Why deny yourself the bits that are useful to you?

LagunaBubbles I think some people see FB as the Froot Shoot to MN's organic hand pressed guava juice.

Never had it or felt inclined to, however I would say not having it has impacted on me. I rarely have much to do with what was once a thriving social group and this is because that instead of us texting each other to meet up etc everything plays out on Facebook. I'm still part of the friendship group but massively out of the loop for coming up well over 7 plus years because I don't want Facebook. Interestingly we waste or spend a lot of time discussing how what they see on social media affects them when we meet up. The general consensus appears to be they all feel under pressure to have really interesting and aspirational profiles and feel slightly meh when someone appears to be stealth boasting. Yesterday several friends had to text me to ask how DS had done results wise. Three of the texts ended with " if you got bloody Facebook we wouldn't need to text you" type wording. On a weird note, well I find it weird, a friend of mine has it and uses it a bit, although she is always complaining about how everyone else seems to have a better life than her, anyway the main reason she has it is because her husband feels it would be unprofessional for him to have an account but he uses hers to keep up with what's going on often using the info to suggest his DD looks at trying to hook up with so and sos son and in his eyes they are the type of family he wants her with. Odd in my book but maybe that's why I don't have it.

If Facebook makes you "accessible" to people who you don't want to be accessible to, then you could try not being friends with those people.

It doesn't have to be a stark choice between
not on Facebook at all
vs
annoying poems, MLM requests, and copy-and-paste statuses from people you've met once

I'd be lost without it. Apart from keeping tabs on all my old school and college mates who have moved away, it has helped many find work (me included) I'd not be in (my current) employment if I wasn't on fb. So much is advertised on Facebook that I'd know nothing about.

Yes I admit it can get a bit much some days, but you have the control to alter what you view and if you don't like it then don't do it.

I don't have it and really like not getting embroiled in school mums drama or the constant bragging. My sister is obsessed with bloody Facebook, to the point of adding the location of where she is every two minutes.

Why would anyone care that you are at the cinema

Also, from what I've seen (and yes even if your security setting is high people show others your pages), friends who I genuinely like and respect turn into 'you ok Hun, babes, sweets, flower' and it makes me cringe!

manicinsomniac - that's the thing though - despite what I said in my OP, I DO think facebook CAN be a good thing - and it certainly sounds very versatile from what people have said here. I like the idea of sharing photos on holidays etc. In fact, when I first went on it, it was great for me in many ways, I managed to rekindle valuable relationships that had been lost or where there had been an unfortunate misunderstanding so I got closure for many of my 'relationship issues' - (but that's the subject of another thread entirely!) Thing is about 3 years down the line I'd started to use it in not very good ways - befriending people I shouldn't, putting attention seeking self pitying posts (NOT my 'finest hour' - as Churchill would've said) - etc etc etc - while it was a lovely novelty at first - within about 3 years - the tide had turned for me iyswim.

Exactly MUjunkie -- I do think fb can be both a great blessing and a curse - I'm sorry your son went through that and I'm glad in many ways it wasn't a 'thing' when I was at school.

I have never been on it. I did wonder about signing up but there are quite a few people i don't want to be found by and even with the tightest security I could never be 100% sure and it would bother me.

I keep in touch with everyone I do want to be in touch with at home and abroad by email/phone/text and it works just fine.

I do agree though that there is a tendency to do things 'through Facebook' because it's assumed you have an account.

The teen DSs keep me informed of what's going on on our town's Spotted page which is quite funny.

I have a friend who complained to me bitterly that none of her online friends had got in touch to see if she wanted to be part of the group all getting tickets to see their favourite artist when he was playing local to them. I was trying to explain to her that it wasn't specific invitations but one of them had posted a general Who is coming ? post. I tried to explain to her that whilst not having FB even with really tight security settings is entirely her decision she can't really complain if she misses out on events because she's chosen to not participate in where they are announced and organised. She isn't understanding why people couldn't email her separately (it's not a day to day social group but one that only tends to get together for concerts).

LagunaBubbles - I don't think I'm 'better' than people that use facebook at all - in fact the opposite if anything - it's just that when I'd been on it about 3 yrs or so - I admit that I was beginning to use it slightly foolishly and being a bit naïve about it - if I'd been more sensible and used tighter privacy settings - I may still be on it, enjoying it..who knows? But given the way I was using it, iyswim, I now enjoy the greater privacy I have now.

PageStillNotFound - love your analogy!

LastGirlOnTheLeft - your entire post has basically outlined the reason I ca came off facebook - you're so right.

Misselthwaite - you're absolutely right in your comments, and if I'd been sensible I wouldn't have been as prolific in my posts. Thing is , by the time I'd made the decision to come off it, I'd already been far to 'public' with it - which was my own fault entirely.

Having Facebook doesn't mean having no privacy. I've been friends with a lady for about 6 years, since we joined a ttc group together. She never updated her status and only this year did she finally upload a photo of herself (after signing up to one of those horrid selling schemes). My dad is the same - he's had it for a few years, to keep in touch with family and the local community. the only photo he's ever uploaded is his profile pic and he has never updated his status. You don't have to be updating and uploading every 5 minutes and sharing everything.
I couldn't be without it, I love seeing what friends and family are up to. Yes I know you could just text or phone etc but when you do that you only discuss the important parts of what's going on in your life and sometimes it's nice to see the little things, the trips to the park or the beach, the excited faces out shopping. It's nice to see happy people.

I'm a member of various groups on FB, Kon Mari, Animal Rights groups, Veggie/Vegan local groups and it's easier than signing up, just via my email. It means that things are there forever, as well, without me having to 'manage' them.

I'd miss out on loads of local events, there's one person, in particular, who knows everything that's going on, especially free/cheap stuff, that I can take my GC, to (she's a LP of four).

I'm not passing local shops, so I don't see posters for 'fun days' etc. I've found sewing/baking classes, through FB.

I don't 'Check in', or post about what I'm doing. I've got pictures of my pets or my GC, that usually my DDs have, anyway. One of my DDs doesn't back her phone up and would have lost pictures, if she hadn't have put them on FB.

FB doesn't have to be a documentary about your life. You can use it as an email account.

I also think that one of the advantages of Facebook is that because you (generally) use your real name and a large proportion of people use a photo of themselves as their profile pic or upload photos of themselves, it (generally, again) makes you more conscious of internet safety and the possible consequences of what you're posting than, say, MN where some people tend to relax behind the anonymity of their username and not realise how identifiable they can be, or forget about the cast of lurkers. If you have your settings adjusted correctly, it's unlikely that hundreds of people are going to see your FB witterings - the odd one or two maybe who are specifically shown your feed by a mutual friend, but nothing like Lurker Central here.

I have a love/hate relationship with fakebook as I call it! It's good for school and local news etc but I loathe it for making other parents feel like shite (me included) ooh here's a million pictures of what a fab time I'm having and what a perfect family life we lead

worra not anymore you can't. They recently changed the privacy settings and now anyone can be searched for via Google or fb and will come up if on fb.

I'm not on fb either (or any other social media for that matter).