to be a bit bemused by the teacher this morning?

[TeainaChinaCup]

DD started school this morning. The teacher issued all of the parents with a copy of a wanky poem about realising these are our babies but now they are hers too (no they aren't), plus a tea bag and a biscuit.

Is this normal?! It was a bit schmaltzy twee for me.

I would give them this poem back!

I do not think you know me much,
for I have other kids as well,
and trying to keep the buggers busy,
is like being in chocolate smeared hell!
So nope, no tears will I cry,
as I walk or drive away,
I'll be praying every night,
for them to be at school next day!
6 weeks holidays they get,
and other weeks off too!
thats plenty of time with my wee babes,
to be stuck to me like glue!
no, I shall go home and have a cuppa,
or go to work without a worry,
see, I'm the parent that likes to drop,
my kids off in a hurry!
I won't dawdle, I won't bawl,
I'll smile and slip away,
see, this is my fourth kid so
please don't worry that I'll stay!
I know that they will miss me,
oooh, for about 5 mins or so,
but then they'll find the Lego,
or make something with playdough!
And I will be forgotten until,
they see me at the door,
and then they'll take three hours with their coat,
until I can't take it anymore!
So no, I won't be crying,
but I do wish you well!
I'll bet by the time you get to know my kid,
you'll be longing to hear the bell! ;-) x

lol To be honest, I'm a middle of the road parent, I don't cry, I get the dull ache when I realise my babies are growing up too damned quickly, then I realise that before I know it my little darlings will be foisting off their little darlings onto me lol, so I don't feel too bad! ;-) x Its soppy, but its meant to be sweet! :-)

I object to these based entirely on the fact that teachers have more important things to spend their salary on - like student loans. The increasing expectation on teachers time & finances is grossly unfair

Not my sort of thing. But she's trying to be nice. I'm more shocked at the going back to school. Mine have 3 weeks yet. 😡

Honestly, who'd be a teacher?!

She's couried up with the dog on the sofa, poor lamb

I think the ditty was worth it just to see you describing your daughter as being couried up on the sofa.

Couried (I wish we had a 'contented in the heart' smilie)

On my first day at school (fifty years ago) I cried as my mother left, and after she had gone the teacher made me stand on a chair and smacked my legs with a ruler saying 'this is what happens to little girls who cry'.

The poem is a bit wanky - but it's better than a smack to greet a new child with. And anyone who gives me a Kit Kat for free instantly gets put on my Christmas card list.

Excuse me while I vomit !!!

We got that poem too. On the other side was the equivalent from a parents POV. It doesn't suit me at all but I'd rather they made an effort and cares than were all 'stiff upper lip' about it.

She had a huge meltdown at the school gate today.

Teacher was fabulous and I have almost forgiven her for the poem

DD maintains she isn't going back tomorrow. Gah.

Not my cup of coffee, but it's lovely that she made an effort. She's spent money on the Kit Kats and the teabag and it's really ungracious to sneer about it online, imo.

Ghastly. I'm sure she's very nice and it's well intentioned. Doesn't mean it's not an awful, wanky poem though!

Kitkat is a biscuit based on there being something for your tea to soak into. Bite the chocolatey end off, dunk, yum. Or, for bonus points, bite each end off and suck the tea through like a straw, then eat the melted innards.

Ah, now it makes so much sense why so many excellent teachers are leaving the profession. Perhaps a tiny bunch of flowers at the end of the week for her to say thank you??

Oh dear, your poor daughter. My eldest son declared he 'wouldn't be going back tomorrow' after his first day. Poor lad didn't realise school wasn't optional and he would be in full time education for the next 12 years.

He soon changed his opinion after making a friend and starting a topic on minibeasts.
I'm sure your daughter will start to like it very soon.
(Can't believe you didn't save your Kitkat to share with her. )

Nonsense, Jay. She may of course be a wonderful teacher (as indicated by OP's update about her DD's meltdown - she sounds great), but all this poem and Kitkat extravaganza indicates is that she is well-meaning but has nauseatingly twee taste in doggerel.

Our society should absolutely be applauding and valuing good teachers. However, the 'poem' is on a par with those 'If you tinkle when you winkle' poems you used to get on plaques in bathrooms or the kind that angle for money with bad half-rhymes in wedding invitations.

Jeez, she wasn't hoping to become the next Poet Laureate, she was just doing something sweet, if a little twee, for the parents of her new class. This thread is incredibly mean-spirited and snooty.

I would have liked that I think, and appreciated it for what it is-a kind gesture and an attempt at reassurance. I bloody love kitkats too

Teachers are not of the real world. Don't worry about it. Your DC/DCs will turn out fine, despite them.

Four members of my family are primary teachers. I am so tempted to ask them if they gave their parents Kit Kats

I just don't 'get' the need for a kit-kat.... I get the need for a degree and experience with children. I especially respect the way she took care of my daughter today... that's what gains respect and trust, not twee poems. IMO.

I think it was a very sweet gesture.

And a Kitkat ffs. What a result.

When my first child started school, I got a lecture on how it was important to collect the child immediately school ended, and that smoking was forbidden within 15 yards of the school gates. I don't smoke but God above, I wanted a cigarette! And a gin.

The woman gave you a kit kat and sorted out your crying child. Sort yourself out.

Wonder if she'd come round here with the biscuits? Two of my DC are sick and crying

Whilst it makes me shudder and is absolutely not something that tugs at my heart strings, I would try hard to quash my negativity and would endeavour not to criticise or ridicule (even in the privacy of my own thoughts)