to be a bit bemused by the teacher this morning?

[TeainaChinaCup]

DD started school this morning. The teacher issued all of the parents with a copy of a wanky poem about realising these are our babies but now they are hers too (no they aren't), plus a tea bag and a biscuit.

Is this normal?! It was a bit schmaltzy twee for me.

[Just5minswithDacre]

Niceness is great.

Wildly overstepping boundaries is just worrying, NQT or not.

[Kidsrulethishouse]

Why do people consider nice gestures to be weird? My OH is like this, somebody local recently lost everything in a house fire so I had a sort out and took anything that was useful to them. He couldn't understand why! Thought I was being weird 😳

[Just5minswithDacre]

That's completely different kids, that WAS nice.

If you'd then told him that his house was now your house too, THAT would be weird

[AnnieNoMouse]

I'd happily hand my children over to a stranger for a chocolate bar (a kitkat is NOT a biscuit)

[Hygellig]

I must have a heart of stone because I certainly didn't need tissues when DS started school.

I would have found the poem a bit twee as well but it's a nice gesture and I would have appreciated the KitKat.

[FithColumnist]

It's shit poetry. But sweet. Pinterest teaching seems to have become an epidemic in primary schools, it seems.

To those saying it's odd to refer to your pupils as "my kids", I refer to my form as "my evil army of the night". I'm fairly fond of them.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

"...I have a friend who cries every time her child does anything. First day at nursery, leaving nursery, first day at school, leaving primary, first residential ... the child is now in high school. Still refers to her as 'her baby' and still fucking cries over every single thing she does. I find it just too much..."

Mycatsabastard - best lay in the Kleenex well in advance before the child heads off to university! And bottled water, otherwise dehydration will be a very real risk!

[Groovee]

Is she a leader in Girlguiding? Some leaders do this when doing the first sleepover or holiday!

[MrEBear]

It's a tad twee to me, sounds like some of the named person Head Gardener rubbish.

[eltsihT]

My ds started school today as well. I would have appreciate a biscuit and a poem more than what we had.

Ds had been changed class with no notification. I actually don't know his teachers name.

The time p1 finished was changed with no notification.

I think it could be a long 7 years of not knowing what's actually going on

[AgentPineapple]

"You could grit your teeth through an hour of sickly-sweet inapproriateness. Possibly."

I don't see how it's inappropriate? You might not like her terminology. I'm not keen and have only referred to 'my babies' when they were actually babies. I have two babies but I would never dream of calling my 6 year old as such. But some people do. She was not declaring ownership of the children ffs, she was saying that she will treat them with the same care as she would treat her own.

[greathat]

Everyone I know got a poem if some description. Must be a local thing. Would have liked the kitkat. Poem made me cry

[Lucienandjean]

I used to teach reception (until I got fed up with the diktats of government and senior management, and escaped teaching with my sanity intact), and in my (many) years experience the parents are often much more upset than the children in the early days of school.

I'm relentlessly unsentimental, and I certainly never felt fragile when my children started school, but it seems many parents do, and I spent a lot of time reassuring parents (face to face, to those who needed it, no weird poems) that I really would look after their children, and treat them with kindness, and yes, even love. I think that's part of the job of a reception teacher.

And over the course of a year, I probably did grow to love them. They were not my children, but they were my class, and it was my job to fight their corner (in whole school terms), nurture them and care about them. Oh yes, and teach them too.

But I wouldn't personally have sent biscuits / teabags / poems - I've better things to spend my pay on, thank you.

But FFS, here's some poor sap of a teacher trying to do her best and care for the children and their families, and people are moaning about it. Find something worthwhile to complain about at least.

[RainIsAGoodThing]

Really laughing at "revolting little ditty"

[MrEBear]

I don't know how to link on here but Google "Named person Head Gardener"

[ChicagoDollz]

What does the P in P1 stand for?

[EddieStobbart]

Primary.

[BeanyGodkin]

What a crappy 'poem', and a patronising way of getting you to trust the school by doing a drive and drop. I do agree that parents need to toughen up by dropping the kids at school and leaving. The whole hang around and settle thing causes too much distress.

[klmnop]

Hope not all schools go for the phased start. My daughter will be full days from day 1.

[Gallievans]

When I took my (about to startvyr 10) for her first day at school, she was fine, went in quite happily. I on the other hand had to sit in the car for 10 minutes before I could drive to work, as I was blubbering too much.

Noqw it's more 'you want a sleepover at x house? Go for it!' while secretlly yelling happily inside about freedom of TV and less drain on the internet!

[NaturalRBF]

Go back tomorrow with a mini bottle of gin & tonic. Tell her she'll need that by Xmas break

[Vickyyyy]

I would have found this hilarious and possibly struggled not to laugh when being given said items...especially if it was accompanied vy a DM sadface type look

[manicinsomniac]

The poem is cringe-worthy in its contents and doesn't scan properly. But the intention was good. I'd have just smiled and said thank you.

A kitkat is totally a biscuit - a chocolate biscuit. Like penguins, clubs and rockys. They're sold in the biscuit aisle of supermarkets in multipacks. You can't really buy single ones in shops. Therefore biscuit. A kitkat chunky is a chocolate bar - sold singly and in the chocolate aisle.