do you turn on the water works for sympathy

[mrsfuzzy]

my dm does this, a lot, when anything/one goes against her, drives me mad, are you a guilt tripper or a teary type, do you know one ? we won't fall out over it , just interested.

I can remember my mum doing it in 1990

I agree with very. Horrible post and as if anyone's going to come on and say they deliberately cry to manipulate people. Instead people are going to share stories of all the horrible women they know who do that. Yuck.
" turning on the waterworks" is a nasty phrase for starters.
And yes, I know I didn't need to click on the thread but I wanted to see if it would be as bad as thought. And it is.

I have to try really hard NOT to cry and I do that so I don't manipulate others therefore when others do it it drives me mad. When this happens I feel bad and upset but suck it up. How am I the baddie in that situation?

You may feel this is a horrid thread but it makes me feel better to know others struggle with being manipulated. When someone is crying I choose not to confront them. I need to vent somewhere.

And now I am being horrid, wow thanks.

Felas no I doubt people are going to come on and admit to being emotionally abusive guilt trippers, they will probably come on and attempt to EA the OP.

People have come on and said they are the teary type, and that's all right. We could all do with learning how to support the teary type without causing further upset and embarrassment. Is it best to pretend not to notice, allow an escape route for composure or give them sympathy?

There is a difference amongst people who cry, it's good to discuss.

Bito you are not horrid nor is OP

I try very hard not to cry but sometimes can't help it. If it makes anyone feel better, I do utterly despise myself for this.

MIL is a crier and gets upset over everything and anything.

I'm not emotional and rarely cry. I wouldn't disparage someone for being emotional, though; DS2 is a weeper when he's tired or upset and it's one of those personality things; DS1 is like me and quite a stoic thing, some people just cry more easily.

I hate that cliche that women turn on the waterworks to get their own way and haven't ever come across anyone who does that (at least, not since I was 5).

So the question is .......... What do you do when they start blubbing?

I pat and run.

No, quite the opposite.

When I cry I feel terrible, because I feel that people will think I am trying to manipulate them when in fact I'm not.

Feeling that people will think this makes me more upset and frustrated, so I cry more.

I would prefer you to leave me alone. Do not be nice to me. Just leave me be.

No.

I can guilt trip people though, without the waterworks... It's not of my best qualities I'll admit.

I never cry. Except occasionally watching films, or listening to Elvis Costello's version of She.

I cried when my dad died and I arrived 10 minutes too late at the hospice to be with him. That was more than 5 years ago.

Since then I'm not sure I've cried at all. Maybe once during a row with dh, mainly out of frustration.

Oh, I remember now! I cried when I got £80 out at the cash point and bloody left it there.

Crikey i cry at the drop of a hat and i hate it. If it's out of anger or sorrow i can't speak at all and it feels like i'm being strangled. Really bloody annoying if it's during an argument as it looks like begging for sympathy. (i cry at the end of arguments as well! )

So it really is best to ignore cryers?

Not an especially horrible post.

I find women are expected to cry in preference to showing anger. That really annoys me.

I don't think it's a horrible post in the slightest. I work with people that definitely have in answer to your question OP

mrsfuzzy I totally get it, my mum used to cry when things were not going 100% to her liking, rather than at an understandably distressing situation. e.g - trying out a new dish and family not liking it - see Ria from 'Butterflies ' -