DD is 5, and can get very nervous about unknown situations. She has always refused to go to birthday parties unless I'm with her the whole time. This has started to be problematic, because she's reaching an age where no one's parents stay at parties. We've been working on encouraging her to give parties a go, but it has often descended into tears and she has always refused to go without me there.
One of her friends is having a party soon, and DD has decided she'd like to go. This is big progress. She says she thinks she'll be ok without me, as she knows this friend's mum quite well and she's nice. Also, the party is in a clay modelling place, and she's keen to try that. Great. I'm playing it cool, but really glad to see her wanting to go, and being happy to go. I think it'll be really good for her to see that she can do this!
However, the party is on MIL's birthday. MIL has planned an outing to a country park for the day, followed by dinner. There is no way of getting DD to the country park bit if she also goes to the friend's party, as the timings just won't work. I've said we'll join them for dinner, though. MIL is now upset, claiming her party just won't be the same without DD there. There'll be plenty of other family there, and in all honesty, at these events MIL pays very little attention to DD. DD doesn't mind going, but isn't that fussed because she'll be with her cousins all day and they don't have much in common - there's a bit of an age/interests gap.
It's not a special birthday of MIL's or anything like that.
Now, I recognise that my view may be coloured by:
- Being so keen to see DD enjoy a friend's party
- Being a bit fed up of MIL's demands in general
- Finding it slightly silly for an adult to insist on such a fuss being made of their birthday
but am I unreasonable to let DD go to the friend's party, and just join MIL & co for the meal? DH is siding with MIL as he doesn't want a fuss.