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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour keeps using my washing line.

210 replies

Horsegirl1 · 16/08/2016 18:09

We have only one neighbour as we live rural . Our gardens meet and she keeps using my washing line. Everytime I go out to hang up my washing g she has clothes on my line. She has only just started doing this. She has lived next door for 8 months but rarely speaks despite my efforts to be chatty etc (she is very quiet and private and says no more than hello) . Anyways she has suddenly started using my washing line. It's driving me crazy as I have 5 children so have tons of washing. Plus my husband is a farmer so again many clothes to wash . AIBU to politely ask her to buy/put up her own line ??? I wouldn't dream of doing this but maybe I'm an un reasonable bitch and should share ???

OP posts:
BadTasteFlump · 17/08/2016 10:44

How about next time your neighour leaves her back door open, you leave a nice big turd in her loo.

Share and share alike etc?

ConformationFart · 17/08/2016 10:44

You could dig a big pit in her side of the gate. Get some old fencing posts and sharpen to a point and bury in the pit pointy end up, lay some branches across and replace turf for an invisible finish. That's assertiveGrin

Or

Get a large live catch trap , place just inside your gate and bait it with the pegs off your lineWink she will overlook the trap to get the pegs. Then, before you release her give her a poke with a cattle prod. Job done.

Or

Tell her she is welcome to put her own line up. I wouldn't buy one for her, she was happy to take the house as it was.

SanityClause · 17/08/2016 10:52

You need to walk to her door and say, "I'm terribly sorry* but you are going to have to stop using my washing line. I need it. We have no objection to you installing a line in your garden, though."

*Saying you are sorry is polite in the UK. It doesn't imply a grovelling apology, as it may do in some other countries.

ohdearme1958 · 17/08/2016 10:56

Since he's so busy why don't you do it

Im very able. I'm also very independent. But I could not more put up a washing line than do a somersault. It would involve digging holes, mixing cement, filling the holes in, then making sure the poles were straight and stayed straight till the cement hardened.

Nope. I know for sure I couldn't do that.

trappedinsuburbia · 17/08/2016 10:57

Could you put a small padlock on your gate?
You could just say that you noticed the gate had been left open a few times and its to stop the kids getting out.
No need to mention the washing line at all and stops her getting in.

NavyandWhite · 17/08/2016 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Memoires · 17/08/2016 11:09

Just take her washing off, put it in a bag and leave it at her door with a note saying the line and garden are not communal.

WorraLiberty · 17/08/2016 11:17

Gahhh!!

Another one of these threads where an OP says, "I don't like confrontation".

"Oh hi. I've noticed you've been using my washing line lately? The trouble is, I have tons of washing to get dry what with the 5 kids and all, so I need it for myself. > Thanks".

That ^ is not^ confrontation. It's basic human communication.

And it's something you should have said 4 weeks ago.

drspouse · 17/08/2016 11:19

ohdearme Why do you need cement to put up a washing line?

You can attach it to hooks in the walls of the house. One hook one side, round a tree, and another hook the other side.

I would take the washing down (put it in a basket), take it over, and say "I don't know if you realise but this is our washing line. We didn't think to say before, but you are very welcome to put up your own line or a rotary drier. No need to ask us about holes in the wall etc., just go ahead and fix it however you think best".

So it's their responsibility but giving them the benefit of the doubt that they thought they wouldn't be allowed to put it up.

Inertia · 17/08/2016 11:22

Can't you buy a rotary drier or washing line, as you're the landlord? Get the agency to organise installation if you are busy.

You should probably have a lock on the gate anyway if you have very young children.

Waltermittythesequel · 17/08/2016 11:28

Honestly, they rented the house without a washing line so all you have to do is tell them they can put one up if they wish but they've not to enter your property without permission and they've not to use yours.

CustardCream1 · 17/08/2016 11:32

Could you buy her a washing line as a belated moving in present?

kaitlinktm · 17/08/2016 11:33

Yes to getting or suggesting she gets her own line.

I have got one of these. You retract it when you take the washing down and you can unhook it and take it in - it's a bit of a nuisance but you wouldn't have to do it for ever.

Neighbour keeps using my washing line.
mickeysminnie · 17/08/2016 11:43

I really don't equate letting someone walk all over you because you can't stand up for yourself as nice! In my book it is being a complete mug.
Nor do I understand why asking someone nicely to stop doing something has to turn into a confrontation!
I mean if someone at school was taking your children's belongings would your advice to them really be, "let them have it, they will hopefully get bored of taking your things soon!"

RosieThorn · 17/08/2016 11:48

Does she know you're her landlord? Sounds daft but I have a tenant who I don't think knows I'm her landlord - it's all dealt with through an agency. I would never approach my tenant with any issues, I would always go through the agency and I'd expect vice versa even if the tenant knew who I was.
I can't see how having the brass neck to go into someone else's garden and use their washing line is somehow easier than just asking the letting agent about a line in the property, WTF??

LeRoom · 17/08/2016 11:55

Just pop round dressed head to toe in her clothes and explain that your garden is private, and not for general use but that she's welcome to put her own line up if she needs one.

NotYoda · 17/08/2016 11:55

OP

I recommend this book:

A Woman In Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You

This is a basic lack of assertiveness. I don't know how you've reached adulthood without having come up against these kinds of situations, but the book will help

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 17/08/2016 11:57

Buy her a new line, they only cost a bout £3 for a decent one.

NotYoda · 17/08/2016 11:58

Apologies for my last comment.

That was rude of me

Do get the book though

bikerlou · 17/08/2016 12:01

if she won't talk then a big show of disapproval is needed. Take all the clothes off and throw in the mud each and every time. I'd probably put a note through her door first explaining that if she uses your line again there will be consequences.
Bad neighbours need to be dealt with as soon as possible. I've had a few :-/

witsender · 17/08/2016 12:02

Whenever I've rented there has never been a washing line in the garden...are they the norm then? We have just got one and put it in.

WorraLiberty · 17/08/2016 12:06

bikerlou, you'd be confident enough to trash her washing each and every time, but when it comes to knocking on her door and telling her not to use the line, you'd opt for putting a note through her door instead? Confused

user1471427096 · 17/08/2016 12:18

Your neighbour (and tenant) is being massively cheeky, walking into your garden and then calmly using your washing line. Is she also using your pegs?

A length of washing line costs less than a fiver. It takes a special kind of brass neck that she is unwilling to either spend a few pounds or to ask either you or the letting agent to provide one, but she is perfectly happy to repeatedly trespass onto private property and then use the drying facilities there.

To save further aggro (because she clearly is trying to make a point in a very invasive way) I'd buy a length of rope and give it to her with a cheery smile and say "I notice you don't have a washing line."

And then padlock the gate!

SapphireStrange · 17/08/2016 12:22

I'm still not getting how she does it – I know you say it's very obviously separate gardens, but are they literally fenced off? (I'm imagining her vaulting the fence with an armful of washing...)

But anyway, getting a line installed is the answer. You could say, in a friendly joking way, 'We're getting you a line and it'll be up by [x day], so I'll be able to have mine back to myself!'

HateSummer · 17/08/2016 12:38

It's not rocket science installing a washing line. I've pushed in a rotary drier into the grass by myself in the past. I find this hand wringing silly. Give her a line.