Take a Break stories

[Fanfeck]

And all similar kind of magazines...

The headlines are flinch worthy, usually always stories of dreadful child abuse, rape, incest, peodiphile fathers and husbands.

I imagine it's the kind of sick tragic stuff that abusers and peodiphiles actually get off on reading themselves and yet they're holiday makers favourites around the pool etc!

AIBU to wonder how there is such a high demand for people's ruined childhoods etc?

My husband Leonard often suffers from diarrhoea when we're on holiday so I stock up on carrier bags to use as a handy pair of incontinence pants" complete with a picture of poor Leonard naked wearing only an Argos carrier bag as a nappy.

I'm actually still in tears laughing after reading this. Did anyone find the article and photos? I NEED to see Leonard.

I was in TAB in 2005 after I ran over my friends foot before her wedding they contacted us after the story appeared in our local newspaper!

Got £250 for it; happy days!

'In time I fell pregnant' is a big TAB cliche.

My favourite story in TAB was years' ago when the dogs were bridesmaids and page boys at the weddings of the owner and they wore dresses & jackets

I have to see Leonard. Hand in heart my sides hurt laughing when I imagined him. Please let the reality match up to the fantasy!

Does Argos charge for bags now? so that would be 5p per incontinence pant.

I spent about £60 in Robert Dyas (a southern homewares chain) in January. I brought a wheely case and a canvas bag but couldn't get all my purchases in. The salesman let me off the 5p charge for the plastic bag on the hush-hush.

I will be wearing my Robert Dyas bikini on the beach and thinking of him. And Leonard.

I love the foreign husbands who fuck off after getting residency in the uk.

Likes it's a TOTAL surprise that an 18yo hadnt married a 89yo for love.

They always mention how good and frequent the sex was too

I still feel sorry for them though because they've often been told by the world and his wife that said 18yo doesn't really love them and they've been so sure that it's going to last.

I used to love these magazines. My favourite story was a couple (who had married wearing their best tracksuits) who split up on Christmas Eve when the wife came downstairs in the middle of the night to catch the husband having sex with the frozen turkey. He offered to wash it so they could still eat it. Amazing sad face photos.

I stopped reading them when every story was child abuse or children dying, and they were just so miserable and sad. Miss the top tips though!

"in time I fell pregnant" usually about a fortnight.

What do we want?
LEONARD

How do we want him?
IN HIS CARRIER BAG

He was quite old at the time so I imagine poor Leonard is dead by now and spent the rest of his life walking into pubs to find everyone he knew wearing Argos nappies - handy for when they pissed themselves laughing.

CatNip2: I used to read them quite a lot, now I read MN. Some days I haven't noticed much difference.

That.

It was the story of a woman who had radical surgery for vulval cancer. The bit when a nurse took her to her loo and she 'reached down, and all my fluffy bits had gone' had me in tears.

Edna's Vulvectomy! Once read, never forgotten. ISTR that was the procedure that finally did for the My Operation feature.

"I looked at her and felt a rush of love" is always what happens 9 months after they "fell pregnant".
The stories really do write themselves. My friend used to write for TAB and had to go out interviewing the batshit people in it. It's probably my dream job.

I got £50 for a picture of my dog from one of those magazines. Not doing anything amusing/alarming/amazing. Just lying there.

I read one where a teenage girl went to Butlins in Bognor Regis with her sister, brother in law and their children. She 'fell pregnant'. The year after they went again and the same thing happened. And then again the year after.
She was pictured holding 3 young children with a suprised face.
The twist at the end was it turned out the dad of all her children was her brother in law.

I see your Take a Break, and raise you Take a Break - Fate and Fortune. The Psychic version. Where your brain still explodes when you wear an Argos nappy but you were able to predict it.

Yellow that would never have happened at Centreparcs if you get my drift.

On holiday in Australia at the moment. Best magazine headline? "My bubs saved my jubs"😁

I get your drift

I will pay for a picture of Leonard. Anyone?!

Oh dear...

Leo-nard
Leo-nard
Leo-nard

Who is going to be the first to NC to LeonardInTheArgosBag

These mags are two thirds cheaper than puzzle books in my area and my doctors surgery is always grateful for the alarming quantities of donations for the reception. I think they're popular in my area because the box with the mags in is always empty when I send the next lot in?