to wish my DH would SHUT UP IN THE MORNINGS??

[Niggit]

We've been together for a long time, and he KNOWS I'm not a morning person. But he has to get up before I do in the morning, and he'll deliberately bounce on the bed while he's getting dressed, and he will talk to me. Every. Single. Morning. This morning he was discussing our evening meal, and I was answering him - well, ok, I was grunting, but they were reasonably polite grunts. So then he flounced (loudly) round the bedroom muttering, "Don't talk to me in the mornings - don't talk to me in the mornings..."
Really? After all these years he still tries to hold a conversation before my first cup of tea?
AIBU?

I have this trouble too!
I on the other hand am a night owl and love to chat then. But at that stage DH has had a visit from the sandman and is lying on the couch with his mouth open wide. So we might have one conversation a week when the two of us are cooperative.
Maybe on a Sunday afternoon?........

I snooze. I can't help it. If I set it for 7 when I HAVE to get up, I just don't. I need a gradual wake up...three snoozes is excessive...I have two.

I get annoyed at DH getting annoyed about that tbh. He's not offering to gently wake me up over a period of 15 minutes so he can just put up with it.

You can help it Violet. Just get the fuck up and stop being a prat. If you can't do the fm grown up thing, get a nanny bracelet thing that has a vibrating alarm, then you will piss fewer people off.

He sounds like a dickhead.

What kind of moron bounces on the bed like that?

I'd have killed your DH by now OP!

Mine is very well trained - he brings tea, and only if I have to wake up he's my very reliable alarm clock) he then talks to my quietly until I can formulate a coherent sentence in response. If I don't have to get up and get on, he is wise and does not attempt to engage until I have had my caffeine.

Mine gets up and ready without me hearing a peep. He leaves the house about an hour before I need to get up. So I have peace and quiet in the mornings to get me and my dds ready for the day.

He dies occasionally stand by the front door and call something up though. Sometimes it's important. Sometimes I have no idea what he said because I'm half asleep.

You need to start the no shoes upstairs rule OP. It's a bit minging to wear outdoor shoes in the bedroom anyway. Also, a downstairs sock drawer might sort out the bouncing. DH knows not to expect so much as a grunt except thank you before I've finished the coffee he's kindly brought.

Sounds like I touched a nerve. For reference though, lighthearted isn't telling your husband to be the nanny or lump it Violet. That's diva behaviour, and I haven't the time for that kind of twatbadgery.

Leave it Violet she ent wurf it!

"And while it's a silly thing to get annoyed about, it really does get me down sometimes, especially if I don't need to get up and could cheerfully have stayed asleep for a bit longer."

OP, why do you think it's a silly thing to get annoyed about? Human beings want and need sleep.

I would not tolerate this, can't understand how anyone can put up with it?!

When you're not a morning person, having someone bouncing around like Tigger trying to engage you in chat first thing is the same level of irritating as someone giving away the ending of a book you're enjoying, or standing in front of the TV during a penalty shoot.

Just.so.very.annoying.

I lost my temper the time that Dp snoozed his alarm . I didnt have to be up and it's really rare that I get extra sleep. The Dc weren't there and I'm pregnant so told him how disrespectful it was and selfish and lots of other over reacting comments.

He's never done it since.

I found, with STBXH, that he liked to ask questions before I'd had my morning tea, and would get proper huffy if I gave monosyllabic answers (y'know, like the ones he gave when he was reading football/golf/rugby scores).

So I limited him to 3 and advised him to use them wisely, because no matter how important it was, I wouldn't answer any more than that before I'd finished my tea.

And I didn't. He kept trying but I stood (sat half asleep on the sofa) firm. He accepted defeat in the end.

Right, this evening I have (quietly and reasonably) explained to him that on future mornings, I would really appreciate him being quiet, not testing the bedsprings, not talking at me except to say goodbye when he's leaving, and please, no muesli munching in my right ear. He got a bit sniffy - he really doesn't seem to understand why it bothers me - and has now gone up to bed. I don't have to get up early tomorrow morning, so...we shall see.

I think there's an issue there OP. If he can't accept your honesty in something so simple...and be a bit thoughtful...it indicates disrespect for you. Is he like this with other things?

My DH can almost resist talking to me too early. If he tries I give him a death stare and say "do you know why I get up so early?" Without fail he says with a smile "yes, so you can get a bit of peace and. . . . . . . . . Oh, sorry. I'll be quiet now"

He got a bit sniffy - he really doesn't seem to understand why it bothers me - and has now gone up to bed. He doesn't have to understand. He just has to accept:

1. That you are allowed feelings
2. That they can be based on your emotions rather than his logic
3. That they can be different to his
4. That you are as important as him

If he doesn't get any one of these, he's rather seeming like a knobber. I often say to DH, "no idea why you need the hallway light on. I think you're weird. But I know it's important to you" I leave it on and I switch it off when he leaves the house while he's around.

Absolute bastard.

Dh is as shit as me in the morning. My best friend is like tigger in the morning - whenever I see her I genuinely struggle not to throttle her before 9am. After 9am I luffs her.

This is my DH, I can't stand it
Then in the evening I'm like Tigger and he is grumpy.
How we are together still I don't know!

I wonder how this morning went.

Dh used to do this too. I gave up answering and just grunted at him. He stopped asking! I would then call him once I felt awake and human and discuss all the little mundane things he wanted to know!

Oh and I got a weekly menu bored so he doesn't ask me what's for tea any more !

Must admit, I'm interested in how this morning went.

I can get up fine, straight out of bed a 6am most days. But I do know how to be quiet and considerate of DP and the DCs on the mornings they don't need to get up. As does DP, as this morning I didn't have to get up and he did. I vaguely heard him say (not call or yell) goodbye to DS, who was awake, that's it.

Mine has a conversation with the dog at 5.30am and tells him that 'mummy is sleeping, let's be quiet' in a stage whisper and the dear dog proceeds to whack his tail on the side of the bed. They then play with a ball while he is still sat on the bed. Every. Fucking. Day.

Do You think there is some truth in the observation that separate bedrooms make for a happy marriage? I am seriously considering that option. Better than prison!