We've been together for a long time, and he KNOWS I'm not a morning person. But he has to get up before I do in the morning, and he'll deliberately bounce on the bed while he's getting dressed, and he will talk to me. Every. Single. Morning. This morning he was discussing our evening meal, and I was answering him - well, ok, I was grunting, but they were reasonably polite grunts. So then he flounced (loudly) round the bedroom muttering, "Don't talk to me in the mornings - don't talk to me in the mornings..."
Really? After all these years he still tries to hold a conversation before my first cup of tea?
AIBU?
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AIBU?
to wish my DH would SHUT UP IN THE MORNINGS??
98 replies
Niggit · 16/08/2016 08:56
OP posts:
heron98 ·
17/08/2016 10:03
Ha, I think I'm your husband.
I am very cheery in the mornings and like to have my important discussions (like what's for tea) then.
DP is an evening person and always picks when I'm nodding off in front of the TV to talk to me.
How rude! 
Niggit ·
17/08/2016 11:36
I can imagine mine doing that with the dog too, takesnoprisoners - if our dog had a tail. But I digress.
I may as well not have bothered. He still crashed round the bedroom; he still ate his breakfast in my ear (toast this morning); and he still asked me what we were doing for dinner, at which point I roused myself and replied that I didn't know, I was still half asleep. He then told me to calm down, and when I tried to explain I didn't like being woken up his answer was, "But it's quarter to 8..." So? I didn't need to be up that early.
I don't want him to sound like a completely thoughtless twat, because in a lot of ways he's a very kind, very generous and loving partner, but he does have a selfish/thoughtless streak (and knowing his family I can see why).
Writing this all down I'm beginning to realise it actually bothers me a lot more than I thought it did...
OP posts:
ElspethFlashman ·
17/08/2016 12:09
Wow. Just wow.
He ignored every word.
It's not thoughtlessness. Not after your conversation. Not unless he has dementia.
He's just going to force you to give in and start talking. He's going to force your attention onto him.
someonestolemynick ·
17/08/2016 12:11
I would kill my DP.
I have very odd hours and normally work 3pm to 9pm, DP works office hours. He tiptoes around the bedroom and gives me a sleepy miss before he leaves. 💚
I do the same when I have to leave before him. It's rare but it does happen. It probably helps that we're both "don't talk to me before I've had coffee" people.
hudyerwheesht ·
17/08/2016 12:15
Ah, I've found my people once again.
Love that, JaneJeffer, I might put it on my wall.
On the mornings where DH leaves before me I wait until I hear the car drive away before I venture downstairs. I've been caught out before when he's come back in for something he forgot, found me minding my own business making a cup of tea and decided to engage me in a conversation about our plans for this weekend or some other irrelevant or unimportant task. He absolutely will not respect my need for silence until I have drank my cup of tea because I cannot converse before my brain is awake.
Ridiculous that I have to go to such lengths but it avoids an argument.
Apparently though I'm the rude one for being so anti-social in the morning. 
Buunychops ·
17/08/2016 14:10
I actually think it's really hurtful what he's doing, but is he someone who needs to have it physically shown to him?
What I mean is I used to work a lot of nights; ever so often DP would call me about lunch time to ask me something random, or to do something, and I would growl down his ear, we'd have a barney and it would be ok till the next time.
At the heart of it he'd never worked nights and didn't have the imagination to extrapolate that him calling me at 13:00 was the equivalent of me calling him at 02:00/02:30 and asking if he'd remembered to send off that form, or when he was on lunch tomorrow could he pick up x,y,z.
So that's what I did; and when he got arsey I used all the same 'excuses' he used; Oh I forgot/Oh but it's important/ But you can go back to sleep; and the humdinger But you've been asleep all morning became but you've been asleep all evening
Petty; childish and got the point across. I shouldn't have had to do it, but once he 'got' it, it never happened again.
Can you do something the same? Next time he's relaxing/ or engrossed in something annoy the fuck out of him and when he says anything; well now you know how I feel in the mornings............
Or just LTB
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ludog ·
17/08/2016 14:29
My dh is an early riser too. He's not too bad during the week (apart from the already mentioned snooze button). Saturday mornings, however..... He wakes at his normal time and can't just get up and leave me sleeping. It will start with 'snuggles' despite the fact that in 25 years you could count on one hand the amount of times I have been in the humour at 5.45am. Then we'll have "why don't we get up and walk the dog?" He just keeps on being annoying until I give in in total frustration and get up around 9. Then I get "you're so grumpy in the morning" 
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