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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it would be cheeky to ask her to catsit

19 replies

swg1 · 15/08/2016 17:02

Going on holiday next week, had someone arranged to come in and feed cat and they've let us down.

There's a new lady moved in a few doors down - we've only met her once at a community meeting but she seems lovely, has kids about the age of my boy and I'm hoping to be friends (there are very few parents in the village and I've been pretty desperate for someone with similar aged kids nearby). We've chatted and are planning a cup of tea later in the week. Husband wants to ask her and says she can always say no, I think it would be cheeky to ask someone we just met and risks her thinking we're the type to always want a favour. I suggested putting something on the local area facebook which I know she belongs to and then if she wants to respond she can but there's no pressure. AIBU?

OP posts:

Rosae · 15/08/2016 17:05

How old is her boy? Worth asking her if he would like to be paid to do it? If he's too young then I'm with you, too soon to ask a favour. Though I might mention it to her in a chatting way in the hope she offers. ...

snowgirl1 · 15/08/2016 17:06

I'd probably sound her out over tea about whether she likes cats or not and, if she does, I'd ask but offer to do her a favour at the same time - offer to feed their cats when they're on holiday or offer a night's babysitting so that she knows you're not taking the mick but willing to return the favour.

acasualobserver · 15/08/2016 17:07

I think you're right - it's the sort of favour you ask from a friend rather than someone you've just met. However, the FB post is a good idea.

Jizzomelette · 15/08/2016 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

swg1 · 15/08/2016 17:13

Kids are infant school age - a bit young!

(I should add, we are totally going to pay whoever we can find! It's just they're both ex-semiferal and get very stressed in catteries)

OP posts:

MrsHathaway · 15/08/2016 17:22

Too soon.

I think feeding someone else's cats is a huge ask - which is why we put ours in cattery, although I see why this isn't an option for you. I had a friend who used to ask me to do this and even though it was only every other day it became a major bind (she lived in the same village but not the same road).

By this time next year, though ...

Newtothis2017 · 15/08/2016 17:22

I think you should ask her. I recently minded my next door neighbours guinea pig and I had only moved into the village. I was happy to door it and we have become friends and good neighbours

HazelBite · 15/08/2016 17:22

Can you ask at your local vets, they usually know of people, or even their own nurses who would do this for you.

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 15/08/2016 17:24

Is she having a brew at your house? She's bound to mention them within the first ten minutes? Then you could say breezily but honestly:
Oh, are you a cat person? We're away next week, don't suppose you want to pop in and feed them for me or know someone who might? We always pay x amount £ for doing it.
You'll know straight away if it's an imposition or not. If you gauge it is then backtrack along the lines of Ooh actually with (name of her child) you'll probably have enough on. I might advertise on fb. That gives her a let out and then you can stick it on local area Facebook.
But I can't see it being a huge I position tbh unless she is allergic, hates cats or they are >feral with strangers entering the home.

sweetpeaandroses · 15/08/2016 17:24

Have you got a local teen that you could ask?

You'd be putting her on the spot a bit asking your new neighbour, it would be tricky for her to say no.

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 15/08/2016 17:25

imposition

PosiePootlePerkins · 15/08/2016 17:29

If I'm honest I'd find this a bit much for a not yet established friendship, and I love cats! I think you should find someone to pay this year, and keep her in mind for the future when you know each other better.

olympicsrock · 15/08/2016 17:31

Too much for a new friendship.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 15/08/2016 17:35

If I lived a few doors down from you, I wouldn't mind at all. I'm guessing it's just going in once or twice a day and putting some food in the bowl and new water? I wouldn't be so keen if there was a litter tray and poo to deal with.

Maybe take the pressure off her by insisting it's not a problem if she can't do it. (and bring her a present from your hols.)

Missgraeme · 15/08/2016 17:41

Unless u are going to ask her to make it a 3 course meal - with a bedtime story and a bath thrown in - I think it fine to ask her to open a tin of cat food and put some fresh water down and maybe a few strokes and some kind words!! Mention u are going to put an ad up for the trusted position and say she can have first refusal of the post!

DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 15/08/2016 18:38

I'd ask her, I do it for several neighbours. I just ask they leave their vets details should something happen and everything to hand.

HotNatured · 15/08/2016 19:48

We moved into our place in May.

The guys at the top are feeding the cats for three days when we go away.

We do them favours, take in deliveries when they're at work.

However, we have built up a rapport with them during this admittedly short time. I think asking when there is no relationship formed might seem a little cheeky.

Depends as someone says above what exactly is expected, a bit of food and water a couple of times a day or litter tray cleaning. I wouldn't be happy about that !

Fingermoose · 15/08/2016 20:10

If she seems cat friendly when she comes round then I'd ask her. Not sure about advertising an empty house on FB though.

missymayhemsmum · 15/08/2016 20:28

I would ask, but apologise for asking iyswim, as you have only just met, and making it clear you will return favours. Having just moved in she may be glad to be one favour up in the grand village favour bank!

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