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Original poster

Terrible holiday parenting.

338 replies

LewisAndClark · 15/08/2016 10:44

It can't be just me?

Ds1 (nearly 14) has barely left the house. He's barely left his room, actually. He's permanently plugged in to his pc. I've coaxed him out a few times to come out to lunch with us and he's been on one dog walk. Other than meals and the occasional family film we've barely seen him.

DD (12) has only slept here a handful of times, she's either been sleeping over with her friends or at Grandma's. Again, we see her for meals and not much else, although she's come on a few dog walks.

Ds2 (nearly 5) has spent the majority of his time in pyjamas watching tv. He's been out every day with me and the dog and we've been to the park a couple of times, but mainly he's been either playing in his room or watching YouTube.

I've just realised that between them they've gone through a large tub of Nesquick in a week, and god knows how many biscuits. They are all constant grazers, although tbf ds1 has a fruit fetish so we've gone through oodles of grapes and plums too.

Am I an utter failure this summer? Please tell me there are others who are as slack as me? It's not the idyllic, adventure filled holidays I imagined for them, but they just don't want to DO much.

OP posts:
cherryplumbanana · 15/08/2016 15:42

I didn't watch tv during the summer when I was a teen (that's still nearly 20 years ago), but activities used to be an awful lot cheaper than they are today.

We had a couple of outdoor pools nearby, so we were there at least twice a week with friends. That wasn't seen as a treat at all, just a way to keep us busy and out of the way.
The other days we could go play tennis. Today, not only there doesn't seem to be any proper outdoor pool around me (the only one I have belongs to a private gym and is tiny), but the entrance fee of the indoors ones are ridiculously expensive.

Holiday rentals were also cheaper, it was common for families to book for a month. Who can afford that today?

GlindatheFairy · 15/08/2016 15:47

Yes, totally NickFury! Though by my teenage years there was This Morning after breakfast TV and Kilroy. I did watch Take The High Road as 'er from Emmerdale (which I do not watch Smile) was in it.

GlindatheFairy · 15/08/2016 15:50

Also programmes like Out of This World were the mainstay of my teenage school holiday TV viewing. If I was out of bed in time.

zofranks · 15/08/2016 15:55

screw it - sounds like your kids are having a good break from school, you don't HAVE to make them do stuff every day, we all need brainless downtime. From my pov I want to come for a week at your house, it might make me chill out a bit :)

AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 15/08/2016 16:01

Glinda I loved Out Of This World! That brings back memories - it was on the year I did my GCSEs and I spent the summer watching it, waiting for results day.

Just a few years ago. Wink

I've done my days walk, one child is on a screen, one is reading, one is outside having water fights with the neighbours and one is bored! I'm watching the Olympics and MUmsnetting.

SeenoevilHearnoevilSpeaknoevil · 15/08/2016 16:01

My 3 DC have spent most of their time either in the garden or in the house playing. We've done a few bike rides and one cinema outing but that's it. We're skint! It's DD2 birthday this week so that's taking all our money but school clothes and shoes.

You are doing what everyone else is doing, it's that no one wants to announce it as we all feel we are doing the bad parenting too!

Lilaclily · 15/08/2016 16:02

I agree with the older kids but

Ds2 (nearly 5) has spent the majority of his time in pyjamas watching tv.

Is a bit sad no ? He can't organise his own entertainment or game with his mates ?

Lilaclily · 15/08/2016 16:03

My kids at 5 would never have slept at night if they'd watched tv all day , they were like dogs , needed fresh air & exercise Grin

Badders123 · 15/08/2016 16:05

Mine were the same when young
"What are we doing next"? Was the constant refrain
Now it's great Smile
I try and ensure outdoor time, reading a book as well as chores and screen time each day
Seems to be working ok Smile

GinandTits · 15/08/2016 16:07

Another one feeling better reading this thread.

We've had few park trips, air show, some bbq and paddling pool days and a visit to the cinema and fun fair. Most days ds1 just wants to play plants vs zombies and ds2 is only 2 so happy bumbling round playing in his toy kitchen. We are planning a zoo trip and amusement park visit but that's about it. Maybe arcades to as we live close.

The amount of food eaten here is just Shock

GlindatheFairy · 15/08/2016 16:09

Do you remember much about it, Another?

I missed the denouement with her father finally visiting Earth as well. I only now have closure after reading the episode synopsis on Wikipedia.

GlindatheFairy · 15/08/2016 16:11

I used to eat loads in the summer holidays as well. I'm almost certain that one year I put a stone on. I certainly gained weight quickly around the ages of 13 -15 anyway as I still have the stretchmarks to prove it. Though none in pregnancy in my 30s.

Gowgirl · 15/08/2016 16:11

Anyone remember saved by the bell?

Lilaclily · 15/08/2016 16:15

Apparently it's a known thing that kids especially teens have a growth spurt over the summer !

GlindatheFairy · 15/08/2016 16:19

I once measured my DDs at the beginning of the summer holidays and when they went back to school, then took another measurement at Christmas. They had grown quite a bit more in the six weeks of summer holidays than in the 12 weeks from Sept to Dec.

FarAwayHills · 15/08/2016 16:22

I think it's just the FB posts and constant Instagram updates by DDs friends that make it appear that everyone is doing exciting amazing stuff everyday. When we were kids we were just left to our own devices with perhaps the odd trip out somewhere. School holidays are a time for everyone to get a break from the rat race of running around. The thoughts of 6 weeks with an action packed schedule sounds exhausting not to mention expensive.

GlindatheFairy · 15/08/2016 16:23

Yes I do Gowgirl. I watched everything.

DD1 is desperate to get a bit taller. She is thoroughly average height for her age but being one of the younger ones, one of the small ones in her class. DD2 is one of the tallest in the year and they are only a few inches apart, in spite of there being nearly 4 years between them.

MillieMoodle · 15/08/2016 16:26

DS is 5; he spent the first couple of weeks of his holiday at the childminder's. I've been off for a week and we've had a couple of play dates and a couple of trips to my parents' where he's raced round the garden with my dad. He's had far too much screen time and one day where he didn't get dressed at all; he loved it - he couldn't wait to tell DH he'd had a lazy day. He's played lots of Lego too. We've got a couple more play dates planned this week and hopefully DH will get the paddling pool out for tomorrow. We're staying close to home though as I'm 37 weeks pregnant with DC2 and have spd/pgp and can't walk very far.

I think it's doing him good to have time to relax at home; the school year is so full on and DH and I both work full time so we always seem to be rushing around. Am looking forward to the next few months on mat leave though!

KitKats28 · 15/08/2016 16:26

Wordsmith I just about fell off the sofa laughing at the thought of your teenagers' faces when you try to take them for a walk in the woods.

I don't understand the guilt and turmoil about "screen time". When we were kids, we occupied ourselves with what there was; books, playing games, watching telly etc. Now there are other things that kids have to occupy themselves; phones, computers, games consoles etc. I find it odd that people buy these things for their children but then moan when they use them. I honestly don't see the issue with them playing games. At least if they are in their bedroom they are safe and you know where they are.

I spent most of my summers either on my bed or in the garden reading the huge stack of books I got out of the library every week. I don't see why reading is seen as morally superior to gaming, and yet no one on this thread would feel the need to apologise if their child was reading.

Lilaclily · 15/08/2016 16:35

Weeeeell I don't want to be a lone voice but

Hopefully other teachers will come on

But reading improves spelling, vocabulary, creative writing , kids who don't read go down over the summer hence the summer reading challenge promoted by libraries

If it's done as well as gaming that sounds fine but I feel it's my job as a parent to tell them to turn it off and read a book sometimes

Lilaclily · 15/08/2016 16:36

My post was aimed at this comment

. I don't see why reading is seen as morally superior to gaming, and yet no one on this thread would feel the need to apologise if their child was reading

littlemissneela · 15/08/2016 16:43

Glad its not just mine! Admittedly two of mine have mobility issues so going out isn't really a huge option, unless dh is about with car (I can't drive).
Ds has been out the most, but even he spends all day on his pc, playing games, watching videos or chatting to mates whilst playing games on said pcs.
Ed is on her mac all day, but has been out pokemon hunting with me.
Yd is however a nightmare when trying to get her out of bed. I kid you not, its now 4.30pm and she is still there! Not asleep, on her phone, but just not doing anything! I have now given her an ultimatium. Starting tomorrow, if she is not up and out of bed before midday, she doesn't go on her pc that day. Hopefully that will do something.

Mine, esp ds, seem to have also discovered Nesquick, even though we have it all the time. We are going through gallons of milk! My three are 19, 17 & 16!

dustarr73 · 15/08/2016 16:46

God no,kids need downtime.Not constant stimulation and supervision.I have a 8,6 and 5 year old.They get up in the morning have a go on the x box,friends knock and they go out to play.

LyndaNotLinda · 15/08/2016 16:49

Even if I banned screens, DS wouldn't read. He only reads in bed.

cherryplumbanana · 15/08/2016 16:54

But reading improves spelling, vocabulary, creative writing

I couldn't agree more with your post.

One of mine loves book, but the other thinks it's a punishment. Summer is the best time to encourage reading, find something he enjoys and make him change his mind.
I am all for having fun, but I can't see what good does gaming bring, whilst I can see the benefits of playing outdoors, reading, meeting friends..