Terrible holiday parenting.

[LewisAndClark]

It can't be just me?

Ds1 (nearly 14) has barely left the house. He's barely left his room, actually. He's permanently plugged in to his pc. I've coaxed him out a few times to come out to lunch with us and he's been on one dog walk. Other than meals and the occasional family film we've barely seen him.

DD (12) has only slept here a handful of times, she's either been sleeping over with her friends or at Grandma's. Again, we see her for meals and not much else, although she's come on a few dog walks.

Ds2 (nearly 5) has spent the majority of his time in pyjamas watching tv. He's been out every day with me and the dog and we've been to the park a couple of times, but mainly he's been either playing in his room or watching YouTube.

I've just realised that between them they've gone through a large tub of Nesquick in a week, and god knows how many biscuits. They are all constant grazers, although tbf ds1 has a fruit fetish so we've gone through oodles of grapes and plums too.

Am I an utter failure this summer? Please tell me there are others who are as slack as me? It's not the idyllic, adventure filled holidays I imagined for them, but they just don't want to DO much.

I don't get the guilt or shame on this thread. Why have we become obsessed with always having to do stuff? People need to learn to just be. There's a lot to be said for doing nothing.

My DS (13) is away with his dad/ grandma for 17 days at the moment. We went on holiday for 11 days the day he broke up from school and my mum came to visit for 4 days. I have a day trip planned once he's back next week and we'll have to do some uniform shopping 1 or 2 days. The rest of the time is his own, to do what he wants. If he wants to spend a whole day in bed once a week on his laptop for 12 hours (and a few more on his phone!), that's up to him.

I let them slob as long as they will also walk the dog, Hoover, make lunch, go on errands, strip the wallpaper, clear up dinner or any other jobs that need doing. Which reminds me, the grass needs cuttingI also alternate through the day with 'do something, do nothing'.

This is how my teenage siblings have spent the holiday so far. I'm jealous because my 3 year old wants to go swimming/splash parks/parks every bloody day and I feel obliged. Can't wait till he's a teen that just wants to fester in his bedroom looking at a screen enjoy it OP.

My DCs seem to have completely given up on lunch - they have breakfast so late it doesn't seem worth it. Saves on bread, I suppose. I've forced them out to go swimming with me a few times and if I say the word "Nandos" they seem capable of getting away from the internet fairly quickly, but otherwise they are largely immobile.

Older kids finding their own entertainment is one thing - a little 5 year old stuck indoors on Youtube is kind of sad. He can't go out on his own to find things to do.

We've only rotated through parks, museums, swimming, cheap lunch out and any random free local fun days, but I think getting out at least once a day is a start.

The rest of their lives are so flat out. Swimming lessons - judo - dance etc. It's relentless for them (and us). If they want to veg out over the summer I'd be happy for them to do that. Unfortunately DD is the kind of kid who would go to the opening of an envelope so I'm always being nagged to go out 😬

We've been away for a week so dd 13 has at least been out of the house then but other than that she has wanted to draw, read, play piano and watch dvd's and play computer games. All offers of trips out have been refused. We have another week away at the end of the holiday so figure another couple of weeks chilling out is all she will want to do before then.
I don't particularly feel guilty but it would be nice if she'd come out with me for the day just for a bit of mother and daughter bonding more than anything else because I only see her when she is hungry.

I've spent the last 3 weeks feeling guilty about not going here, there & everywhere with my kids. We've had a couple of days out, having a bbq tonight and might go to the coast for the day tomorrow. Other than that, we've all been mostly doing nothing.
It's bloody Facebook that makes me feel bad, seeing all this "family time" pics from other people.
This thread has made me feel normal again. Thankyou.

We haven't done much during the holidays which has made me feel a bit guilty until I read this thread and discovered its quite...normal?

We did go to lanzarote for a week but there was bugger all to do with the kids (3 and 2) as they wouldn't touch the pool or the beach..we did spend a day at some zoo but it was ridiculously hot and I spent the whole time complaining about mosquitos..3 year old was bitten by one and instantly decided that a 'shark bit her' which she has gleefully told everyone she has seen since. TBF we went to the aquarium the day before..but now every little mark she gets is off a shark

Besides that we have been pretty much housebound. Though I did get the paddling pool out the other day which was fine until 2 year old went in head first and had a mega meltdown...

Planning to go to South Shields tomorrow though, beach and a lovely soft play area completely boxed in and safe so me and Dh can sit drinking while 'watching' them and tomorrow night they are staying at grandads, which they always enjoy.

I feel like such a lazy parent recently. Infact I don't know why say recently, this is pretty normal, only difference is they aren't having their 3 hours of nursery per day to break up the boredom...

DD 6 is vegging out completely. If it wasn't for going round to see her friend next door, she'd never want to get dressed or off the computer. I had to prise her favourite pyjamas off her at about 2 pm the other day so they could be washed. We've had a few days out pottering, been to the park and so on, but more days where we don't leave the house at all. When I veto more screen time she bimbles in her sand pit or draws on the patio with chalk.

I don't remember getting taken out constantly as a kid in the holidays. My dad normally took a week off work and we'd fill it with days out, and mum would take us to the local playground once in a while, but mostly we mucked about at home. Made up games. Drew pictures. Read books. I was quite a sedate child and DD is too, so maybe that's part of it, but surely most kids don't need something to be happening every single day?

God yes...they are so erm time.
And they pack sooo much into the last 2 weeks of term - at least they do at my children's school - that they are exhausted by end of term.
And I work in a school - not a teacher - so I'm quite tired too! :)

Oh, by housebound I mean...gardenbound. The amount of suncream we have gone through is insane for this country...

God, I wish there were friends around for DD (6) to see, but round here it's all 2 week holidays, holiday clubs and visiting family, so she hasn't seen any friends at all. I'm going to relax a bit about the TV though having read this .

Lots of my kids friends either away for 2/3 weeks childcare tbh...

I can't bloody wait until my DD(2.5) is old enough to want to fester in her bedroom with various gadgets. I work full time, term time only, so in the hols have a tendency to feel guilty if I'm not constantlycreating fun, educational experiences for her. Everywhere is so fecking busy in the holidays though and I'm running out of places to take her that are reasonably local and don't cost the earth. Plus I'm knackered. So today I have let her drag all her toys into the garden, filled the paddling pool, dumped a load of snacks within her reach and just let her do her own thing while I have been lying in the sun doing fuck all

It's not just you. DS1 (16) rarely surfaces before 1pm and then only gets showered and dresed when he's fed up of my nagging. He does his paper round as late as he possibly can and then stays up till about 3am on his computer/groupchatting with his mates.

He is becoming nocturnal - when he does leave the house (apart from his paper round) its in the evening and sometimes he stays out all night (round at a friends) or comes home at 3/4am before spending most of the next day in bed. Sustenance consists mainly of bowls of cereal taken at random times of the day.

DS2 (12) on the other hand is rarely here and out a lot with his mates, but he's costing me a fortune. Even a walk into town ends up costing £5 for Coke/chocolate. His diet is appalling.

I work from home and am really busy but am optimistically planning a couple of days out (walk in the woods, picnic etc) before they go back to school/college.

Even so it's chilled, and better than the days of childminders/holiday clubs.

Scavenge for your meals and make your own entertainment while I hide in the bathroom eating biscuits.

Loving this

We are a bit like this too (3 teens here). They tend to spend the day watching TV, films on the tablet, youtube on the phone... I think back with nostalgia to days gone by when we would be busy with free craft activities at the museum and going to NT houses for walks in the parkland...

That said, if I stop and think, DD has been to the movies with a friend and seen another couple of mates, she is also doing 3 x holiday dance classes and volunteering at the library twice a week. DS1 has been to the footy with his dad 3 times and was on Explorer camp for a week. And DS2 has gone to the gym/park with a couple of mates and still has athletics and pole vault training every week so maybe they are doing something.

I thin it's OKK actually to let them do what they enjoy - and if that's just passive relaxation some most of the time then it's fine!

Love this thread!

I've been working most of the holidays, the two eldest have been home alone a lot (they are 12 and 14, I also have DD who is 10). I had a day of annual leave today and had promised we would go to the beach. But I was admitted to hospital over the weekend after an asthma attack and am now stuck in bed doing nothing.

In all fairness the boys have been fan, DS1 has hoovered and done the laundry and is going to sort dinner, DS2 has washed the dishes and tidied up. They are now glued to Fifa16 on the Xbox. Wiuth nesquick and cookies. DD has gone to a friend's house.

I feel really shit that I can't take them on our planned day out. I've been feeling guilty all summer that I'm in work while everyone I know seems to be busy "making memories" and instagramming their delightful family days out. This thread has made me feel so much better.

I'm with you OP, mine are exactly the same. All happy to get on with their own things and no false Facebook boasting about worthy days out. In fact, I'm off Facebook for the Summer just to avoid it!

I would love for my kids to not want to do much As it is, we need to be out of the house every day by 0930 or I end up with DD clamped to my leg while I try to play Ludo with DS who is slowly learning to be a good loser. I'm exhausted!

It is different from when we grew up though...we may not have been dragged out everywhere but there wasn't the proliferation of screens that there are now. Kicking around involved the garden, games, board games, sport etc.

That said, we don't have a telly at all so shouldn't be on this thread.

I used to mostly watch TV in school holidays especially as a teenager, after getting up about midday. I reckon if other types of screen were invented then I'd have been glued to them too.

DDs have had quite a busy time so far, we've been on holiday then they went on an activity week. So the next two weeks involves them not doing very much and maybe playing out/hanging out with their friends if they are around. Then in the last week they have another sporting activity arranged, so I think it's quite nice to have nothing arranged for a bit. They do a lot more than I did at their age, I used to go to relatives and be quite bored. And watch a lot of TV, as I said.

We did too Glinda. I was young in the days of TV only in the morning too, we watched it from the moment we opened our eyes in the morning till the end of the younger children's TV at lunch time - Rainbow etc. Then it was on to Son's and Daughters and Take the high road etc

We got through a whole tub of nesquik in 2 days. Admittedly this is because DS1 (4) found it on the side and threw it all around my living room and over his little brother (1). My living room and my DS2 were pink. Apparently he wanted to make strawberry milk snow. I guess by this reasoning it was a success!