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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sling meets?!

115 replies

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 15:15

A group popped up on fb to invite me to a local sling meet for "established baby wearers to gather and discuss baby wearing."

Do they literally just stand there with baby in sling and talk about their baby in the sling?
Am I the only one who finds that hilarious?
Anyone been to one of these?!

Ummm AIBU to think this is just mad?

OP posts:

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 17:10

towards the end it wasn't even daily even if I was home, it was every other day for a good long time before she stopped completely.

There's no regime when you extended BF

dylsmimi · 14/08/2016 17:12

I would imagine in this instance 'established' means that it is a social event rather than a sling library type event where they can offer lots of advice and you can try and hire a sling out.
I would assume that and go along (with a pram or a sling as most people use both) to meet people rather than go and expect to get advice over the best carrier
There's some really mean comments on here about parents just wanting to meet up and socialise

Original poster

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 17:15

I'm going to go to it tomorrow and see what it's all about!

OP posts:

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 17:17

She was staying at home Sandy, couldn't bear to leave her kids apparently. I got a nice potted life history whilst I was sitting there trapped as in middle of feeding

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 17:18

I went with a pram Umbongo as it was pissing it down and I don't have a waterproof coat that fits round the sling. They just assume you are a newbie if you have a pram

SerenDippitee · 14/08/2016 17:20

Report back, OP!

I also don't want to derail the thread. I never usually get involved in feeding conversations on here because like the vast majority of people I just do what works for me and my family and I really don't care what other families choose to do. There are judgy bitches in pretty much every parenting group, and we've all encountered them, but the rest of us are just keeping our kids alive and happy from day to day.

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 17:20

She was staying at home Sandy
so, just because she didn't go back to work like you still doesn't mean that her raised eyebrows was about you working and not your massive misconceptions about extended breastfeeding

minifingerz · 14/08/2016 17:22

"I genuinely don't understand how long term breastfeeding fits for women who have a career"

Most women who have a baby see them every day. This is when you would breastfeed them. When you see them. After work and before work.

Unless your baby is in boarding school or decides to stop breastfeeding, it's usually possible to continue breastfeeding after you return to work.

minifingerz · 14/08/2016 17:25

"I suspect woman who spoke to me was also slightly appalled I was going back to work, as she raised an eyebrow,"

Or possibly/probably not at all.

"but thats fine - I just know most of them are probably at an extreme in their parenting style"

Breastfeeding a toddler and not being in paid work are an extreme parenting choice? Who knew!

Original poster

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 17:32

I will report back on what it's like! Although I will have to dig out my woven wrap as I don't think the connecta will work with my enormous tummy. And tits.

OP posts:

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 18:51

Given I didn't comment on her feeding and only said what I'd be doing (mixed feeding from 4 mo and switching to formula after 6 mths for going back to work) it would be hard for her to raise an eyebrow at my 'misconceptions'. I just smiled at her.
How is the connecta Umbongo? I fancy something a little softer than the baby bjorn but stretchy wraps are not really for me. Have been told connecta might be a good compromise. Baby bjorn hurts my back a bit after a while so I imagine it won't be great when DS gets a bit bigger. Even though it says up to 26lbs a lot of people have told me they struggled after 6 mths or so? Reckon DS is about 16 or 17 lbs now. DH finds it ok still but I am not as strong!

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 18:57

oh, I thought you said that you couldn't keep breastfeeding because you had a real career.

Having a real career doesn't mean you "Can't", you don't "have to" breastfeed and have a career, but you most certainly can unless you are away for months at a time on oil rigs or something.

If you phrased it there the way you phrased it on here I'm not surprised you got raised eyebrows. On here you didn't present it as your choice you presented it as something women can only do if they don't have a real career

SerenDippitee · 14/08/2016 19:07

tappity Connectas are great and will be a revelation in comfort after a Björn. highly recommended!

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 19:09

p.s. connectas are heavenly comfy - weightless!

although not every brand works for every build, I hate hate hate bobas and have friends who find them amazing.

Original poster

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 19:16

Baby Bjorns are pretty wanky. They're not good for baby's hips either. I love not connecta but the buckle is very uncomfortable to have above my bump.

OP posts:

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 19:21

They're not "Bad" for baby's hips, they're just not ideal, but neither are car seats etc

They're fine, unless you never ever take a baby out of it it'll do their hips no harm, and they're so uncomfy that nobody is going to be leaving a baby in a BB all day anyway

Binglesplodge · 14/08/2016 19:26

Tappity, it sounds like you were raising as many eyebrows at her choices as you suspect she was at yours.

I had no idea I was doing anything unusual by returning to a real job and continuing to feed my DS. I think your misunderstanding about feeding stems from how different it is after 6 months and again after 1 year. My DS is perfectly happy drinking cows' milk during the day at nursery. When work prevents me from being at home for his bedtime he's fine without breastfeeding. When he's ill or upset in the night, well, that would have the same effect on my ability to work the following day as if he weren't still feeding: I'd still be getting up to look after him.

I don't want to derail the thread: I've never been to a baby wearing meeting or a breastfeeding group but I can see why mums might want to go, and relax in the company of people who don't raise their eyebrows and ask "you're not STILL feeding, are you?"...

Breadwidow · 14/08/2016 19:32

I know it's unrelated but wanted to say thanks to the posters who responded re the reality of bf a toddler and working. I'm still bf my nearly 2 year old, returned to work at 7 months, ft, expressed for a bit but not long, have worked late and gone out quite a bit (though not as much as with my first I admit - was away overnight once a week for a while, he coped fine).

Re sling meets, FWIW they can be a bit odd and exclusive, it really depends. There's one near me which is run by an owner of a woven wrap brand which produces lovely but v expensive slings and the group is mainly a love in for the brand and people obsessed with it swap wraps as they are all hard to get hold of - they are a bit obsessed with them in the same way some people get really into certain clothing labels, but perhaps even more so. It's a bit odd I suppose, it takes up so much money for one thing but the wraps themselves are so beautiful I can kinda see why. Anyway, despite this I have been a couple of times and recently it's been useful - I really wanted to try a connecta with petite straps without making the treck to the sling library which is always very busy and a bit hard to get too and one of the members of the group brought a bunch for me to try on

witsender · 14/08/2016 19:34

Why does this style of parenting raise such acorn? And then people wonder why the set up things like 'established BW' meets.

It is probably just to chat about different Slings, brands, fabrics, carries etc. It can get pretty technical if you want it to.

Babywearing a term from Sears/AP...not created by the Bw community.

Writerwannabe83 · 14/08/2016 19:44

I've been back in work for 18 months, in a full time "real job" and still manage to breast feed my toddler (2yr 4m).

Sometimes he feeds three times a day and other times he goes 48 hours without a feed as I do shift work.

Having a "real job" and breast feeding can exist together.

Back on track: I never used one but I think they look fantastic for little ones, they look so comfy and it's lovely seeing them so close to their mother/father. My colleague is a "Baby Wearer" to her toddler (who is 2yr 6m) and I just think it looks really uncomfortable lugging him around

Doggity · 14/08/2016 19:48

Baby wearing is such an annoying term. I can get on board with baby led weaning but your baby is not an item. They are a small human being.

witsender · 14/08/2016 19:49

I can and have still carried my 4 yr old...he's a big boy but well wrapped I can wall for hours. Even the 6 yr old has asked for an up every now and then as a novelty.

Original poster

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 19:53

My husband is quite sad as he would like to wear the baby but he had epilepsy so is too scared. I might treat myself to something new and snuggly seeing as he's due in winter.

OP posts:

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 19:56

I didn't SAY anything about a career, I just said I was going back to work and would be stopping breastfeeding when I did.

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 20:00

I always wondered with those really expensive beautiful woven ones..DS would puke on it and I'd be upset! Will try a connecta, thanks.

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