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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sling meets?!

115 replies

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 15:15

A group popped up on fb to invite me to a local sling meet for "established baby wearers to gather and discuss baby wearing."

Do they literally just stand there with baby in sling and talk about their baby in the sling?
Am I the only one who finds that hilarious?
Anyone been to one of these?!

Ummm AIBU to think this is just mad?

OP posts:

MooPointCowsOpinion · 14/08/2016 15:49

If you know why baby bjorn are bollocks and you can use a size 6, a full ergonomic buckles, or a ring sling by yourself in the middle of a car park, I'd say you're established. Bonus points if your tails don't dip into a puddle.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 14/08/2016 15:51

Do they give out badges, like in Scouts?

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 15:53

I went to one, bit hippy and lots of 'crunchy' mums as you say though did get to hire a sling so that bit was useful. They meet up lots though and when I went to a meeting it was all very baby led weaning, breastfeeding forever type thing which is not very me. I was BFing my 4 month old and one woman presumed I'd be feeding him til he 'self weaned' 'seemed surprised when I said no, had to stop self from mentioning I have a job and a life outside baby

Original poster

UmbongoUnchained · 14/08/2016 15:55

tappity I breastfed for 10 minutes and have no interest in doing it with this one so I doubt I'd fit in at all!

OP posts:

Pawprintz · 14/08/2016 15:57

YANBU.

And I fucking hate the term "baby wearing". I don't wear my baby, I carry him. He's not a fashion accessory.

hazelnutlatte · 14/08/2016 16:03

I went to a sling meet once. I had the idea that it was a place to try out slings and get advice, so I went along as I thought it would be helpful. Unfortunately the group I went to was in fact an 'established' baby wearers group, so I got looks of horror when I turned up with my baby in a pram and then proceeded to bottle feed her while they all breastfed their 2 year olds. My dd then vomited up her entire feed, coating me, her, the chair, the floor and a load of toys.
Everyone studiously ignored me while dd screamed her head off and I tried to clean up the mess, then I went home (with no sling) and never went back!

SerenDippitee · 14/08/2016 16:25

I was BFing my 4 month old and one woman presumed I'd be feeding him til he 'self weaned' 'seemed surprised when I said no, had to stop self from mentioning I have a job and a life outside baby

And there it is.

FWIW, there are literally three people in the world who know that I am still breastfeeding 3yo DD - me, DH, and DD herself. this is the first time I've mentioned it on here, and literally no-one in RL has a clue because I:

a) hold down a JOB
b) have a social life

It's not so hard to understand the desire to have a group where parenting choices beyond the dominant paradigm are the norm.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 14/08/2016 16:26

I used a sling 20 years ago. Just put whichever DD was nearest in it (DH had the other DD in another sling) and got on with whatever we were doing. That could have been cooking supper or climbing a hill - we did both with our twins in slings. We also used a double pushchair and two single ones. Sometimes we just carried them in our arms. Whatever was best at the time, it was never a "lifestyle" choice.

Not in a million years would I have felt the need to go to a group to discuss slings, I would have been bored to tears in five minutes. However, each to their own, it's not doing any harm as long as "established" users are welcoming to newbies.

HermioneWeasley · 14/08/2016 16:30

Why on earth would you form a social group based on how your transport your child???

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 14/08/2016 16:32

Because from what I gather "baby wearers" see it less as a method of transportation and more as a statement of their parenting style

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 16:45

To be fair one of my friends who goes bottle feeds but they were just not my type of people at all! Agree with other posters, why is it called 'baby wearing'? I tend to use a pushchair to avoid baby sick or dribble down my front. Also have a baby bjorn which is the work of the devil according to the sling people....

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 16:49

Serendipitee, fair enough - but I do not have that sort of job, it is a full on career. Literally no one at my work would do this as you can't guarantee being home on time or if you were up all night with a reverse cycling baby you wouldn't do well at work. I genuinely don't understand how long term breastfeeding fits for women who have a career....how on earth can you be equal to a man when you are tied like that?

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 16:50

yeah support for new mums can only be a good thing etc etc

except I bet if you tried to arrange a meet for people who exclusively pram use you'll get a different response.

Sling meets are a good idea if they welcome newbies who are bewildered by the choices, but this meet up is for "established baby wearers" which indicates that it is about excluding certain "types" - which isn't very nice.

It would put me off even if I was a "baby wearer"

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 16:50

yeah support for new mums can only be a good thing etc etc

except I bet if you tried to arrange a meet for people who exclusively pram use you'll get a different response.

It would put me off even if I was a "baby wearer"

53rdAndBird · 14/08/2016 16:52

I have a career - a full-on career, whatever that means - and my toddler is breastfed. What's so difficult to understand? Why would it make me unequal to a man at work?

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 16:54

Of course you can extended breast feed and have a career, A 1/2/3 YO doesn't breast feed in any way the same way as a babe in arms.

DD used to wake just before 6, I'ld feed her back to sleep, get up and head off to work leaving DD asleep until DH woke her up for nursery (he left later for work). And then, if I was home for bedtime I'ld feed at bedtime, if I wasn't, She was fine because out of sight out of mind.

She only needed more if ill or distressed

You do not need to be physically available 24/7 to breastfeed a toddler like you do for a newborn

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 16:57

Once youre feeding over 1yr you can even skip days and then pick it up on your days off. I did a residential week away, didn't pump, and it only took a few extra snuggly feeds to get it back when I got home.

You couldn't do that in the early days/months. Extended feeding is different. Once it's well established you don't need to pump at work etc and I'ld often be at work for 13ish hours

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 17:00

Going away on work trips? Having to leave earlier than usual but the baby needs a feed?

tappitytaptap · 14/08/2016 17:03

Anyway I don't want to derail the thread. You can have your point of view but I am simply saying what its like in my career. I suspect woman who spoke to me was also slightly appalled I was going back to work, as she raised an eyebrow, but thats fine - I just know most of them are probably at an extreme in their parenting style. Perhaps good they are all contained together in these groups...

SerenDippitee · 14/08/2016 17:03

tappity I have a 'full-on' professional career (did I give you the impression that I just do a few hours a week in the village post office or take in some light sewing for pin money?).

Toddlers and preschoolers don't feed like babies. DD has one feed in the evening after bath and before bed. She can go without on the odd evening when I'm out or working late. She hasn't had a night feed since she became established on solids. My boobs don't become engorged if I spend a night away from her.

It's quite possible that you have friends or acquaintances who are doing the same, but who don't talk about it.

53rdAndBird · 14/08/2016 17:03

I'm just home from a 3-day work trip, so yes, it's totally possible. And like the previous poster said, older babies/children don't feed like newborns - you don't have to rush away to feed them at the drop of a hat. When I had a younger baby, I expressed at work and the milk got stored in a fridge there.

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 17:05

Going away on work trips? Having to leave earlier than usual but the baby needs a feed?

baby? what baby? exended BFing isn't a baby so they're fine without it for a day or two. It still has benefits and I've been very glad of it when chicken pox etc hit and she wasn't able to eat anything!

I've even been away for a week and got back to it.

She wanted milk at bedtime if I was home, if dad was doing bedtime that was a different routine. Not a problem.

At nursery she'ld drink water/squash.

Honestly? don't people get that BF toddlers don't just drink/eat breast milk?

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 17:07

I suspect woman who spoke to me was also slightly appalled I was going back to work, as she raised an eyebrow

Most likely a raised eyebrow to your comment is from someone who is also going back to a "real" career and gets that you can breastfeed an only child and work FT/odd hours

DesignedForLife · 14/08/2016 17:08

Work trips - I'd feed DD before I left, leave DH with a stash of milk in the freezer, and pump in my hotel room. No big deal, unless you're on a four day trip in the middle of nowhere with no car and your pump breaks... That was fun!

Our local sling meet is for people to try stuff out and get advice and meet like minded people. No harm in that. Never been mind, but I couldn't get DD to take to a sling for a long time. She hated them as a baby, but was very happy in a baby bjorn type....

SandyPantz · 14/08/2016 17:08

"older" not "only"

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