Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To daydream about fucking up her 40th?

101 replies

imnotbeingfunnyright · 13/08/2016 17:59

Background: very rocky relationship with DH. In 2014, after two years of suspecting his affair and his denials he eventually came clean. Said its over but they're still friends but since me and DH now separated were still living together with our 2 kids I couldn't give a toss... Apart from the times I realise he's taken me for a total mug and I feel pure boiling rage. He is so obviously still seeing her.

I've just looked on her work Facebook page to see that there's a huge party planned for her 40th birthday tonight. Surprise surprise, he's working elsewhere this weekend (he's a shopfitter, often abroad or elsewhere in UK). No doubt there's been a present bought with money that could have gone towards our mortgage arrears.

I have spent the day fantasising about ruining this auspicious occasion. Usually along the lines of my kicking the pub doors I open just as a cake is presented, spitting on it then shoving both their stupid faces in it. If a candle takes someone's eye out, then so be it.

Any other suggestions? I'm enjoying my time here. Grin

OP posts:
pontificationcentral · 13/08/2016 18:19

Why are you still living together? Surely with this much rage and angst as a backdrop it would be better for everyone involved if he just moved out? That way you wouldn't care where the lying scumbag was?
And really, it's his birthday you should be ruining - if she was married as well, then leave the vitriol on her account to her Xh.
Probably best for all concerned including the kids if you let it all go and arrange for him to move out so that you are no longer quite so invested in your xh's whereabouts though? Not worth your time and energy.

pontificationcentral · 13/08/2016 18:21
ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 13/08/2016 18:21

OP, I love you for your honesty, and completely empathise but unless said 'do' is in the Queen Vic on Albert Square, I don't think it's going to go down too well....

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 13/08/2016 18:22

Call him and tell him that one of your friends has called and invited you out tonight, so you're going to the pub (which just so happens to be the pub where the party is taking place) and leaving the kids with parents/friends/usual babysitter. His reaction should tell you exactly what's going on.

He sounds like a cunt and she's not much better, surely she knows he's married and has children? I have no sympathy for people like that. Hope she has a shit birthday.

Flowers OP.

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 13/08/2016 18:22

Grin at the Viagra and laxatives! I think this is a perfect idea! He'll have a stiff dick whilst involuntarily sharting himself all night long - can you really think of anything worse. Absolutely brilliant! Grin

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 13/08/2016 18:23

Derek has the right idea.

See how she likes her guests listening to "hey, bom bom bom, got any grapes?" all night long Grin

GwendolynPost · 13/08/2016 18:25

lego, sorry but that really made me laugh. Was it a big wreath?

youarenotkiddingme · 13/08/2016 18:28

I like the idea of casually mentioning you going to same pub.
I'd throw in casually mentioning for a friend of a friends 40th Wink

SandyPantz · 13/08/2016 18:29

"aye" for the viagra/laxitive combo for him

He'll be there and he'll embarrass her by having a stiffy while making small talk with her nan, and also by shitting everywhere

2 birds one stone

imnotbeingfunnyright · 13/08/2016 18:29

Reason we're still living together is purely financial. He works away a lot of the time and I can't afford to buy him out so we're just getting on with it. No arguments at home if kids are around.

OP posts:
DerekSprechenZeDick · 13/08/2016 18:30

I don't always have genius idea but when I do they are evil genius ideas Grin

Guiltypleasures001 · 13/08/2016 18:30

I'de probably go for the zombie apocalypse scenario, rent a huge crowd of dressed up actors and surround the place, you run in screaming with guts and blood everywhere.

Too much?

imnotbeingfunnyright · 13/08/2016 18:31

HAHAHAHAHA to all these

OP posts:
SandyPantz · 13/08/2016 18:32

I like the idea of casually mentioning you going to same pub.
I'd throw in casually mentioning for a friend of a friends 40th wink

YAS!

"ex DH, since you're working X weekend and I've been invited by Carol to her friend's 40th in X location, and god knows I need to get out after all you've put me through, we need to go halves on an overnight babysitter unless you cancel your work"

And watch him SQUIRM
and she'll squirm too trying to figure out which of her friends might bring you as a plus 1 and will look like a mad woman telling all her guests that they have to all declare their dates :-D

mrsfuzzy · 13/08/2016 18:33

itching powder in his underwear ?

PatMullins · 13/08/2016 18:34

Oh I love the zombie idea, if only it were free Grin

youarenotkiddingme 's suggesting is wonderfully sneaky Wink

imnotbeingfunnyright · 13/08/2016 18:34

Have you done this before, Sandypantz?

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 13/08/2016 18:34

Better still where is it, surely we could get a posse together and gate crash it bottles of gin in hand, asking everyone "if they meant to be so rude"

SandyPantz · 13/08/2016 18:35

no not zombie actors, clowns! hire lots and lots of clowns! creepy ones!

DerekSprechenZeDick · 13/08/2016 18:37

Send birthday cards saying happy 50th

Guiltypleasures001 · 13/08/2016 18:38

Oh oh oh I know

Anyone got a new born and an older teenage daughter who's game for a laugh
Walk in Holding baby saying don't you love me anymore, don't you love insert baby name
How could you do this to us. Grin

DerekSprechenZeDick · 13/08/2016 18:38

Send birthday cards saying Happy 50th

Write how she doesn't look a day over 45.

imnotbeingfunnyright · 13/08/2016 18:39

You truly have turned this frown upside down, Mumsnetters

OP posts:
ItShouldHaveBeenJess · 13/08/2016 18:40

Or a 'In Deepest Sympathy' card. Could mean anything!

SandyPantz · 13/08/2016 18:41

Advertise the car park outside her venue as a dogging venue for that evening

Swipe left for the next trending thread