To refuse to give him a lift, again?

[Runny]

I can't work out if I'm in the right or not? My adult, 30 something brother is on the phone to either me or our parents most weekends since he split up with his GF, asking for lifts into town. To be fair my parents usually will give him a lift, but last week it was last minute, an hour before. Due to the late call DM and DF had already had a drink so couldn't oblige, so DM rang me asking me to take him (note how he ddidnt contact me directly). I said yes, then as I was about to leave he messaged me saying he was running late and could I go fifteen minutes later....

Now ive just had a message again. DM and DF are going out for lunch and won't be able to have a glass of wine if they take him. Instead of saying no, they have told him I will do it! I say it's not convenient and that I did it last week, DM then whinges that 'OK, I'll do it, I just have any wine with my lunch' making me feel guilty. DM won't say no to him, I think because he's entitled and self absorbed and she knows if she does a strop will ensue, so she tries to keep him sweet.

Now I don't mind giving lifts occasionally, but I think he takes the piss. He lives a fifteen to twenty minute walk from the town centre. A bus stop is right outside his house, and a taxi would cost him a tenner. AIBU to think he should stop expecting us to be cheufer service and use his legs or something? AIBU to have said no?

OP. I should have made clear in the OP that I'd already said no, but dM was making me feel guilty because she wasn't able to have a glass of wine with her lunch.

You had made that clear but it doesn't change anything. You still just need to say no. BTW do you actually feel guilt over this or is it that you feel angry. I don't get 'guilt'

So your mum is bitching at you because she can't have wine with her lunch? Err, she can - she just has to tell her son to walk/bus/taxi it into town. She made this particular rod for her own back, so it's only fair that she deal with the consequences. And frankly she is lucky a wineless lunch is as bad as it gets!

"Ok well then you respond to your mum "of course you could have a glass of wine with lunch if you wanted, (brother) is perfectly capable of walking 15 minutes or hopping on a bus like everyone else. If you chose to not have a glass of wine so you can run round after him, that's your choice, but why are you blaming me because you would rather ruin your own day than say no to him?""

That's an awfully good response from DinosaursRoar!

Op, just wanted to say that my mum treats my brother in a more kid gloves kind of way because I'm his 20s he dropped us for his girlfriend's family and we have a cousin who went NC with her family and she was terrified it would happen with him. He is now married to someone else and although they are closer to her family dm goes easy on him if he's being a dick/saying something snobby/just turning up when he needs something as all that is better than losing him completely where as I am always there from single to married. I call and chat but he just doesn't think to do so nor does he need to where as I need to talk about 'feelings' etc all the time 😂