What telltale signs make you suspect 'troll'?

[LikeDylanInTheMovies]

Just to be clear, I'm not advocating troll hunting but what makes you suspect a thread is the work of a bridge dweller and makes you give it a wide berth and/or report to MNHQ? I was thinking quite often the post just seems a little off or implausible and I've tried to think what often arouses my suspicions.

A few things that set my spidey senses tingling are:

1. The tone is at odds with the material/dilemma or shifts dramatically across the thread.

2. Events move too quickly and the revelations come thick and fast.

3. A 'twist' in the last few lines of the post (to make up an example a long post asking for advice on 5* hotels in the Maldives and in the last line saying something along the lines of 'I can only go the last week of August as I 3rd September is my signing on day at the dole.')

4. Anything to do with a well known sexual fetish (pissing/shitting/bukkake) I'm a bit suspicious about.

This isn't about any particular thread or poster and one of those things on its own isn't enough to set alarms ringing in my head, but what makes other posters start scratching their chin and think 'hmmmm chinny reckon'?

I'm convinced that trolls like reading about themselves. Threads like this don't help.

Threads like this also tip trolls off about how not to get caught.

Just as well this thread isn't about any particular troll or a specific thread then!

It all sounds a bit too 'contrived'. A bit like when you meet someone in real life and your instincts tell you they've got a hidden agenda.

Or alternatively, let people work out what to look out for before they over invest time/energy/assistance/money on a troll

< thinks maybe won't google bukkake>

WhatamessIgotinto I'm not sure that's a good idea

You're just giving them tips with this thread. I agree though.

Sorry what should have warned you! Defo NSFW

Hairy toes, a sallow complexion and hair with a texture between candy floss and wire wool.

Dead giveaway IMHO.

Too many things to mention

Anyway, it's often the combination of certain things that makes me suspect, not certain things alone.

WhatamessIgotinto I'm not sure that's a good idea

You were absolutely correct Poutine

what can't stop laughing!! I made the terrible mistake of googling this ages ago when a group of people were chatting about it and I didn't want to seem really stupid.

I'm not exactly sure what a troll is. I always thought it was someone who set out to hurt people with the anonymity of the Internet but on MN it seems to mean people who make stuff up. In that case I reckon 90% of posters are trolls! I'm sure most of what's posted here is fiction or embellished in some way

Lordy I wished I hadn't googled that.

If it reads like the plot of a Jilly Cooper novel it's quite possibly a troll.

Open I'd use troll to describe anyone making stuff up, someone looking to hurt/anger others I'd describe as a WUM (wind up merchant). Mumsnetters seems to specialise in the former.

April I made the mistake after seeing a bloke in a 'bukkake ruined my carpet' t-shirt.

I'm not sure it would ever be possible to prevent people from over-investing, unfortunately. People who are in a vulnerable frame of mind can't help but be suckered in sometimes, no matter how rational they are otherwise, so I'm not sure a list of "what to look out for" would help. I'm not victim blaming, trolls are wankers, but they can be clever or at least manipulative wankers who know exactly which buttons to press to draw people in.

I bet they're getting a kick out of reading this.

What's bukkake