Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think LTB just got a whole lot harder (domestic abuse related)

94 replies

HelenaDove · 11/08/2016 19:34

Just saw this article. Women have been living in refuges for over a year due to lack of housing.

Women are returning to their abusers rather than face homelessness

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/unsafe-damp-and-dirty-how-unscrupulous-landlords-take-advantage/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

OP posts:
Dontyouopenthattrapdoor · 11/08/2016 23:26

I also had no idea how dire things were.
This sounds like the sort of thing MN campaigns were invented for...

EMS23 · 11/08/2016 23:31

If MN did want to look at this as a collective, these people are doing amazing work:

www.peabody.org.uk/resident-services/safer-communities/domestic-abuse/daha

Atenco · 12/08/2016 00:38

Mumsnet, feminists, surely this is a feminist cause par excellence, and isn't there supposed to be Women's party. I don't live in the UK, but I really thinking everyone who is not in hiding should get stuck in to improving the situation for the victims of dv. This is appalling

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 12/08/2016 11:49

Just wanted to thank Helena for starting this thread Flowers

OreosAreTasty · 12/08/2016 13:34

Sadly it hasn't been a recent change :( a family member left an abusive partner in 2008. She was in a refuge for 16 months before finally getting rehoused.
She knew of lots of women who went back to the abusers. :(

HelenaDove · 12/08/2016 13:56

Elsa Thanks i think you are an amazing strong and brave woman.

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 12/08/2016 15:13

Apparently its the men who are really hard done by Angry

www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/aug/12/tory-mp-philip-davies-claims-uk-legal-system-favours-women-at-mens-rights-event

OP posts:
Freeandsinglewater · 12/08/2016 15:18

I was told by my lawyer to get in a argument and when he hit me to have him arssested.

CheshireChat · 12/08/2016 15:36

This reminds me when we were trying to figure something out with the council and there was a DV victim in front of us in the queue and the council worker asked to see her bruises before she could help her!
Luckily they seemed to have started using someone else that actually gives a damn and looked quite compassionate.

HelenaDove · 13/08/2016 19:26

speye.wordpress.com/2016/08/13/no-job-no-house-begins-7-november/

OP posts:
MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 15/08/2016 11:00

I am horrified by the treatment of women and children by our so called civilised society. I can't imagine how I can help the big picture, but will donate some supplies to my local shelter. What would be useful?

Zaphodsotherhead · 15/08/2016 12:04

My friend turned up at local council. barefoot (had run out of family home in fear of her life), was told by housing person to 'go home and make up'.

I was absolutely disgusted. This was very very recent.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 15/08/2016 13:27

That guardian article you linked to Helena Shock

In the refuge I was in there were so many pregnant women who's lives were being made miserable by men sending solicitors letters demanding medical details, threatening legal action to be at the birth or scans.

Then there was a man who tracked his ex down with a private detective and he tried to take his children from school.

Then there were the people who were going through the court process and who's ex partners were still getting to control the women with a judges seal of approval.

It's disgusting and in my experience if a woman says she has been abused then she is disbelieved in court and it's used against her. Often women spend so long defending their abusive partners while it's going on that when it all comes out its assumed she is lying.

The council need much better training in dealing with abused women.

When I left I left everything and moved some distance. I literally had my kids and a few clothes. I was accused of just wanting a new house (my old one was fine) I was accused of lying as there had only been a historical conviction. I was told to go back and put my son in danger so I could get my ex charged for actually doing something. I was made to feel like shit and my homeless application was rejected by the first person who saw me, which put my place in the refuge at risk, if I wasn't considered homeless the housing benefit wouldn't pay for homeless accommodation.

Thankfully women's aid asked to see someone different and I had to see a psychologist who wrote that I showed common signs of being abused and I got my application approved eventually. It was a long and scary process though.

Although it never happened while I was there women's aid said they had people who weren't accepted and ended up homeless and WA helped them secure private tenancies, which impacts them a huge amount financially.

How anyone can complain about 'mens rights' when there is still such a way to go for women to be treated as human beings sometimes is beyond me.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 15/08/2016 13:35

madame often the women in there show up with nothing at all so anything would be very appreciated.

Things like basic toiletries, hair brushes, deodorant etc are always well received. I often go and buy treats just for the mums though, face packs, a nice bottle of bubble bath etc.

I also donate books, all my kids clothes and toys when they have grown out of them, baby things as so many women show up while pregnant.

Thank you Flowers it's a very kind thing to do.

HelenaDove · 15/08/2016 18:00

Jesus Elsa and Zaph those attitudes are straight out of the 1970s. Sad

OP posts:
ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 30/08/2016 10:08

Found this thread again.

Just wanted to thank everyone on here for their wonderful advice.

I just got my new name through the post.

I can vote again woo hoo Flowers

Thank you all so much.

burblish · 31/08/2016 02:24

Oh Elsa, I'm so glad re your name - your posts (and so many others on this thread) touched me to the core and I'm so hopeful that this will be the start of you being able to move forward with so many things that were stalled before, including your business. I wish you the very, very best. Flowers

ImNotJoeMyNameIsHarry · 31/08/2016 02:39

I got told I was being housed in a hostel to get me away from him as I was living on streets. They housed us in the same hostel. But having a locked door was good enough for everyone even though the door didn't lock properly and we shared a bathroom.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread