to think LTB just got a whole lot harder (domestic abuse related)

[HelenaDove]

Just saw this article. Women have been living in refuges for over a year due to lack of housing.

Women are returning to their abusers rather than face homelessness

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/unsafe-damp-and-dirty-how-unscrupulous-landlords-take-advantage/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Thank you RB I'll have a Google.

I am doing a tiny amount of local selling at the moment and it's frustrating being so limited.

Bump

Sorry, bumped wrong one

I don't think it's unreasonable for there to be a charge as places need funding, but it absolutely should be covered in full by housing benefit.

Elsa, I think children's names can sometimes also be changed without permission of the father. For example if he is absent and uncontactable, or where there has been domestic violence. Or at least double barrelled so they're as Jane Green Blue, but known as Jane Blue.

And yes, it's completely legit to have a registered address different to the place of work.

BusStop I've looked into changing my children's names and not possible as I know exactly where their father is but I can't risk him knowing where we are.
I was also denied legal aid as apparently he needs to find us and attack us before we are at risk and I have done a good job at making sure he will never find us. The system is a bit shit...!

I've been living in refuge for a year now, so many women I know have gone back to their perpetrator because life is just so difficult in here there is no housing available, we aren't considered priority because we have a roof over our heads but the conditions in refuge can be very poor. There doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel, we are all so tired.

JustStop sending you all my strength. I hope it won't be too much longer for you.

Just it feels endless just now, but you will get there I promise.

Sending you all the best wishes and strength in the world

Another one here offering support

When it all feels too much, please turn to mn and get some solid advice

More hand holding here, Just. You will get through it. But it's shit.

Thank you

Just one of those evenings where I sit on the floor, stare at the walls and think 'how did I ever get myself into this position?'

Evenings are the worst.

la

If it's been the lack of a recent attack it may be worth re applying the time limit that was previously 2 years has been extended to 5 years

Just they absolutely are the worst. You have got yourself somewhere safe, that is something to be proud of.

I ended up buying myself some crafty stuff to make little things for my house, it kept me occupied in the evenings and I felt like I was building towards something.

I did a little cross stitch thing thats on my wall now, it's a bit crap but very meaningful to me. I also did a couple of paintings and made some weird fairy jar things I saw on you tube.

I also frequented the library and read the hell out of everything I could get my hands on.

Too much thinking time isn't good.

Needs I did appeal but they said no (this was in the last few months).
Basically I waited about a year after running away to see a solicitor (I was a complete mess and pregnant so I just wasn't in a good place). The legal aid agency said basically if he hasn't found us in a year he's unlikely to and to reapply if he finds us / threatens / attacks us.
I couldn't even get a prohibitive steps order let alone change their names.

Just the library is a really good resource - I used to read a lot too and also watch iplayer on my phone with headphones in my room once DC were asleep.
One thing which my support worker encouraged me to do was every week I would try and buy something for when I moved out eg. Kettle, toaster etc (assuming you have nothing which might not be the case). It really kept me focused though and I was so grateful for those few bits I'd bought when I finally did have to move out and I had no spare cash and a hundred different things to buy!

Just

I

Elsa what a strong woman you are

Just hoping things turn around for you

Awful!

Nothing surprises me about the pricks that decide if you're homeless or not. My friend was being seriously abused by her partner and when she went for help, the fucker that she dealt with in the council told her that she 'couldn't' put her down as a domestic abuse victum as she was in a same sex relationship! Thank fuck she took my advice and got help to fight it. There really are some ignorant fuckers making important decisions that can lead to homelessness and deaths.

Ust add, this is in NI. Must have been a dupper.

Must not Ust.

Juststop

I was told that a hostel would be too expensive when i was the victim of dv, the only houses available were miles away from my work, my ds nursery and my family, i slept on my dmums sofa for 5 months, my mum shared her bed with my son, luckily i had personal savings from a part time job i had as a Teen and i could put down a deposit on a (private rented) little house for us, its disgusting the amount of women that have to go back because there are no houses for us.

for those who are still playing the waiting game

PovertyPain - we're not all like that I promise. I work in housing and I promise you, we are mostly committed housing professionals who genuinely care about the people we are trying to help, hindered by an absolutely shit system, severe shortage of housing, underfunded services and ever changing welfare environment.
I, and my colleagues do care, I promise. I'm sorry for the shit one you met - FWIW, they wouldn't last long working for me!

I am shocked, utterly disgusted that women are being treated like that. It is is awful 😟😟😟😟