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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i? Poor Ds :(

142 replies

Badders123 · 11/08/2016 11:09

Arranged with a mum on Sunday night for ds2s friend to come over for the day today. She was going to drop him off and I would drop him back later.
Ds has been soooo excited!
I had a really busy day yesterday so didn't text to remind/confirm.
Roll on 10am...nothing.
It's now after 11 so I texted I answer
I texted again half an hour later...no answer. I asked if he was still coming so if not we could make other plans.
I just rang the number I have been texting on and the person who answered said "wrong number"
So....
Is it the mum just ignoring me and he child not wanting to come?
Fine...but let me know!
Or is it something else I'm not seeing?
I can't have been texting the wrong person!
Don't know the landline and it's not listed.
Poor Ds is so upset and I don't know what to tell him.
This is after last week my own sister dropping us ike stones when a better offer came along.
Sigh.
AIBU?
I feel like going round the house and knocking on the damn door!
(Don't worry I won't!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:28

Would you answer someone else's mobile at work??
Jaxx...thank you for your input.

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 11/08/2016 12:29

I've read the thread and it sounds like one poster says I think she's just a bitch, and you say so do I. If that's not calling her a bitch I don't know what is! Mistakes happen, it could be anything, yabu!

Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:29

...and I asked for her by name.
Surely her co workers know her name?

OP posts:
trappedinsuburbia · 11/08/2016 12:29

Hi OP, this has happened to my ds as well, a better offer came along and my ds got ditched, he was sitting waiting for his friend to turn up, I phoned the boys mum as I was genuinely concerned that something had happened to the boy between their house and mine, at least she had the grace to sound embarrassed
I ended up just cutting contact with them in the end, they turned out to be major piss takers.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 11/08/2016 12:30

No, of course I wouldn't, that;s what I said by mistake in my post.

SillyMoomin · 11/08/2016 12:30

I'm going with her phones been stolen op

Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:31

Yes it could be.
That's my point.
I'm trying to understand what could have happened.
It's not easy when your child is so upset and there is nothing you can do.
I'm baffled by it tbh
But....this is Aibu of course so I am quite prepared to be told I am!

OP posts:
Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:33

Oh I'm sorry suburbia. That's so mean. Your poor Ds.
I wonder if a similar thing has happened and she just hasn't got the gumption to admit it.

Also...would someone answer a phone if they had stolen it?

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 11/08/2016 12:33

This happened to my DS years ago.
Mum at school offered to take him out for the day with her own DS and said she would come and collect him (I had a toddler so I was grateful that she offered).

Poor DS spent ages with his nose pressed up against the window waiting. She wasn't answering her phone so I assumed she must be driving. She never turned up.

I later discovered she had taken another child instead and hadn't bothered to cancel.

It is very hurtful and upsetting. I still feel sad about it 18 years later.

I don't understand why people behave like this.

BalloonSlayer · 11/08/2016 12:33

I expect that the boy has changed his mind, or that she has just forgotten, and so she has been ignoring your texts hoping you would get the message.

Then when you called she panicked and said "sorry wrong number." Which used to work when we all used landlines and couldn't prove what number you had dialled, and even then you would sometimes get a wrong connection.

She is now sitting there cringing with embarrassment at being such a dick. Serves her right.

Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:34

Oh, you mean picked up her phone and thought it was theirs?!
Possible I going to have go round, aren't I?
I hope everything's ok.

OP posts:
Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:34

Oh frogs!
How could someone do that to a child?
😡😡😡

OP posts:
Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:35

Slayer...yeah. Probably 😞

OP posts:
Oldraver · 11/08/2016 12:35

It does seem really odd that she has stood you up. Presumably if she is at work she needs childcare and you were it for today ?

willowtreecottage · 11/08/2016 12:36

My eldest is almost 18.
Over the years, I've been unfortunate enough to encounter some parents who would think nothing of letting someone down.
It has been done to me ( by a supposedly good friend) for a beyond trivial reason.
I'd even been baking for the occasion.Grin
Apparently her son ( then aged 3) didn't feel like seeing anyone/ have anyone over.
Not everyone cares about hurting other people/ letting them down. It is a shame.

trappedinsuburbia · 11/08/2016 12:36

I would bet the same thing has happened in your case Badders, it is horrible when they're so upset and don't understand why they've been let down, only advice would be never to arrange a playdate with this particular person again. I don't understand it either, its just bloody mean.

MarcelineTheVampire · 11/08/2016 12:36

Frogs that made me really sad, how awful!

I can't believe adults would behave quite so atrociously to children- if their children have changed their minds and/ or got a better offer just phone the other parent (or text) to cancel, lie if they feel the need but at least cancel. It's just rude.

BalloonSlayer · 11/08/2016 12:37

Why would anyone pick up someone else's phone, answer it and say "wrong number"?

Mjingaxx · 11/08/2016 12:37

Look, this has happened to me. A child didn't turn up for dd s birthday because they got a better offer. I was really worried on the day, thought sumnat had happened. When I found out what had happened I was angry and I didn't speak to them again

BUT you are not trying to understand what has happened at all. You have jumped to the bizarre conclusion that this woman is pretending that she isn't herself and you have dialled a wrong number, to get out of a play date with you.....on a number you have used to arrange the play date!! It's utterly nuts

swg1 · 11/08/2016 12:39

My mum had her phone stolen (not just lost, they prised a window open and got her handbag.) She called it and got someone who claimed to have just bought it but was very clearly aware something dodgy was going on and hung up on her. It does happen.

trappedinsuburbia · 11/08/2016 12:40

Mjingaxx simmer down to a panic are you the other parent Grin

3littlefrogs · 11/08/2016 12:40

I think there was an issue about DS being picked for a team and her DS not.
This thread has reminded me of how hurtful and confusing it is for the child. I am sure DS has got over it now Grin

Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:42

I'm not jaxx.
I am asking others opinion what conclusions they would come to as frankly I have no idea what's going on!
i also don't know if I'm reading too much into it - it's hard when it's your kids who are upset and I don't want to over react.
Again....thanks for your input.

OP posts:
Original poster
Badders123 · 11/08/2016 12:44

Ds is playing ps4 with his big brother (who is being a star :))
As you have said...he won't be asked again.
I am trying to arrange to see my nephews again this afternoon.
We will see what happens.
I promise I will update if I get an answer.

OP posts:
Atenco · 11/08/2016 12:44

Well, OP, there are all kinds of possible explanations, but don't put the worst connotation on it until you know what happened. It's not good for you and it's not good for your son

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