To not tell my son I lied to him?

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

And let him continue pretending to be poorly and see how far he goes?

I told him last night that he's back at school today. He has woken with a super bad fake cough, has complained about belly ache, his toe also hurts him.

I'm waiting to be told he has a broken leg

How ill should I let him get before I let him know I was messing with him and he has weeks yet?

Kids are different.

I really hated school and my parents playing a joke like this would have really confused/upset me. OP's DS is obviously not like this and sees the funny side! It's only a problem when there's a mismatch in temperament and the parent finds things amusing but the child doesn't - same with all sorts of practical jokes and teasing, really.

Find a better way to communicate/engage with your son. You sound very odd.

I think the key here is that surely it comes down to the dynamics between parent and child.

Clearly the OP knows her DS and his likely reaction. I understand some children wouldn't take well to this which is why some of you seem so aghast but each to their own and all that.

DD (9) would react in a very similar way. It's what we do in our house, just her and I. That and smile a lot.

Find a better way to communicate/engage with your son. You sound very odd

Yes, Derek. You sound very odd.

I am odd.

I would find a better way but I prefer fucking with him tbh

Yeah... you FREAK Derek.

Everyone knows Derek is odd

It's what makes her so fun to talk to

Find a better way to communicate/engage with your son. You sound very odd.

Odd you say MyCrane? don't fuck with Derek, she'll nick your batman tights.

The child is a genius.

Wait til there are two of them - you're screwed

He's playing the long game. I've said is best make sure my uniform is prepared, early night for me.

He left the room giggling. I thought he'd have cracked by now

He needs to learn how to better his poker face

How are you anyway Derek, apart from putting your child in therapy and potentially losing your job due to his reciprocal high-jinks? All well?

I'm ok. Just fucking up children one at a time I suppose

Well I thought your joke was funny Dereck

Hahaha

As long as you fuck them all up in a consistent fashion Derek, that's the main thing!

It's all fair. Equal opportunities and all that

Good to know you're good, Derek.

I will gladly chip in for the therapy. I wonder whether you might have to drop him off at school or

I've mentioned having to find someone to watch him or maybe he can stay home alone.

Not even flinched. He's not breaking

Does your school offer holiday clubs?

You could say that because you have to work, he has to go to holiday club. There's no internet at holiday club

Yeah you need to make him crack. Summer school?

He's rock hard, clearly. Practically calcified due to all the prior abuse.

I'd go with the threatening somewhere unpleasant option.

I've mentioned him having to go to breakfast club so I can get to work in the morning.

He hates breakfast club. It's the worse possible thing he could do. I only send him if it's the only option available because he hates it that much.

He said 'OK' and ran off laughing!

He's pure evil. I've created a monster. I've lost this round I think

Yep... You've lost. He's won

Round one to the son!