About flatmates?

[Bearasarahus]

Just moved in with two nice flatmates, never met them before but like them. We agreed to cook together so have done a weekly shop so far. The issue is that we have different preferences regarding meat (I'm happy to spend a bit more and get good stuff) but they're not bothered. Also they buy fizzy drinks and biscuits which I don't love but happy to suck that one up!

I also suggested that we meal plan but they're not bothered and just buy whatever and decide what they fancy that night. To me that kind of defeats the point of meal planning and weekly shopping!

Im worried one of them took offence when I mentioned (I hope politely!) about the ethical meat thing...

When I cook for myself though (and buy the ingredients) they're happy to eat it...

Should I just suggest I do my own thing?

Do you think that flatmate #3 would probably prefer things your way (the sensible way) but is too afraid of conflict to say so?

You don't need to 'check' anything with him. You are all independent adults and and you just need to be firm and clear that you will be doing you're own thing.
I haven't flat shared for 18 years but I can feel my blood pressure rising reading this!

Right OP.... No.2 is not in charge of the flat. You are all equal there.

You can bring it up with him saying that you don't want to share this, it's not for you, you're not sure how no.3 feels but she might feel the same and good luck with it all but you would prefer to do your own thing.

Do not get into discussions about it.

Just keep repeating that you said yes without thinking and you realise it isn't for you. And repeat. And repeat.

Bloody hell OP you need to toughen up fast or you'll be railroaded into all sorts! I've never flat shared - I'd be awful at it.

Find a polite way to tell him to fuck off. If you can't do it face to face then send an email or text to both of them.

"Hi both, I've been thinking about the food arrangements and I'd rather just shop & cook for myself. I'll sort myself some cupboard space and a shelf in the fridge this evening. See you later!"

Any attempts to change your mind should be met with a "no".

STAND FIRM!

I feared as much.
He's a control freak who ultimately wants control over what goes on and ultimately control over you.
Do not allow this...do not LET your British reserve, good manners and propensity to keep things sweet to prevent you from sticking up for yourself and making your own choices in your own home. That's what people like this count on...others being too reserved to risk a confrontation and put them straight. Don't be that mug!

Time to tell him the food arrangement is off. Do it now. Open a bar of chocolate and eat it while you do so. Don't flinch!

Regarding my own experience with this, I was passive and easy going too, hoping to keep flat relations friendly and cool...he simply wanted to possess me and run the show. When I finally stopped being compliant and found my backbone (after a few months), the fall out was pretty catastrophic.

I really should have put him straight from the outset.

no idea why 'let' is in caps...sorry