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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you changed job as a direct result of having kids?

52 replies

u32ng · 09/08/2016 22:35

What job did you do pre-kid(s) and then what did you do post-kid(s). Any regrets?

I'm on maternity leave (again) but am at the stage of planning my return to work. Initially it should be straightforward but then I will have to return to my 2.5hr each way commute. Crap with 1 kid but near impossible with 2 (DH has to pick up all the slack - very unfair). Moving is a very unlikely option for various reasons and job is specialised so would have to switch entirely. So I am just nosey interested to see what people changed to I suppose for inspiration...and what mistakes to avoid!

OP posts:

Sammysquiz · 09/08/2016 22:43

Yes, I did. I was quite senior in the Civil Service, long commute & high stress. Loved it though and planned to return following maternity leave, but once I'd had DD1 I realised I wouldn't get to see her enough if I went back to that job, and would also struggle with emergency childcare if she was ill & couldn't go to nursery (DH is a hospital doctor so can't take a day off at short-notice & no family nearby). So I resigned, retrained to be an Accounting Technician, and I now work from home for a local accountancy firm, just doing 20 hours per week (flexible hours, so work evenings in school hols rather than daytime). It's not the world's most exciting job, and I don't earn as much as I did pre-DC, but I get to see them loads, and do the school-run which was important to me.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 09/08/2016 22:45

I took a lower grade job in the same profession so that I could negotiate flexible working.

DownHereInTheHorridHouse · 09/08/2016 22:47

Yes, I did - I went from university lecturing to journalism. Then, when I got pregnant again, became a ghost writer.

Lecturing has changed so much since I was in it that I really do think it would be hard with a young family - much more focus on winning grants, publications, etc.

I think I only felt I could justify changing if I earned the same or more, it wasn't just about the hours. I love ghosting though - gives me a professional excuse to be nosey! Good luck whatever you decide .

elQuintoConyo · 09/08/2016 22:48

I'm leaving mine after 3 years. The commute is nothing (20 mins by bus) but the hours are caca: 4-9 or 5-10, i barely see dc. Oh, and weekend work. On a rubbish wage. Life is too short.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 09/08/2016 23:01

I moved from midwifery to health visiting. I worked as a midwife until my eldest was about 12 but the shift patterns became too much to fit around my children.

RubbleBubble00 · 09/08/2016 23:45

Yes. Moved from contract work to secure nhs role sfter number 1. Took a pay cut but negotiated flexible working and reduced hours after number 2. Plus good maternity package

RubbleBubble00 · 09/08/2016 23:46

Couple of years leading up to kids ionly applied for roles with decent maternity packages

Cakescakescakes · 09/08/2016 23:49

Left secure local authority management role to work in a similar field on a casual basis for half the pay.

bumpertobumper · 10/08/2016 00:00

Was made redundant after second maternity leave, basically because I no longer put in the long hours. Have worked in same industry since but very part time at much lower level, and had dc3. Which I probably wouldn't have done tbh if I'd still been in the more full on role.
Very happy to have dc3, a new kitchen with redundancy pay out, and luckily DP got a great new job.
I'm now planning on retraining for career change...

mumtomaxwell · 10/08/2016 00:10

I had a fairly senior civil service job which I gave up to return to teaching. Big mistake - it hasn't turned out to be the family friendly job I thought it would be. Although I do have the massive perk of being term time only so I can't imagine moving job any time soon...

RainyDayBear · 10/08/2016 02:24

I will be - I'm leaving teaching after my maternity leave and becoming a supply teacher in the interim whilst I keep an eye out for part time jobs outside of education. Feels quite scary as its all I've been teaching since I left Uni, but quite exciting too!

livinginabox · 10/08/2016 03:34

I moved from ward to community nursing. Just couldn't make the shift patterns work long term with childcare.

Suzietwo · 10/08/2016 04:13

I initially went back f/t but then quit and became a consultant (solicitor)

teacher54321 · 10/08/2016 07:10

I went from teaching my subject (music) in a secondary boarding school (65 hour weeks as standard) to being music coordinator in a prep school part time. So still teaching my subject but no exam prep or stress or evenings or weekends. Am now full time doing the same job in a slightly bigger school. Will go back to secondary eventually-I miss teaching A level too much!

Writerwannabe83 · 10/08/2016 07:19

I work in Nursing but changed my job so I could 1 day less a week than the current one. I had asked my employers if I could drop my hours (1x 7.5 hour day) but they said no so I left and got a job elsewhere.

I did work with a Health Visiting team but now I'm hospital based.

3weeksthankgod · 10/08/2016 07:25

I was a teacher but struggled after my second child and my marriage broke down. Childcare was difficult when I had late meetings, parents evenings etc. Also dc very needy and I couldn't do it all.

So yes I lost my career because I had children but hope to get back to work again one day, maybe through supply teaching at first.

HeadDreamer · 10/08/2016 07:27

I want to say that it isn't unfair for one parent to do all the pick up and drop offs. Many mothers do this, and my DH does too if he's not travelling. The problem is actually the 5 hour commute. It is no way to spend your life wasting 5 hours in a car or train. I can see why you want a change. Can you move closer to work? How about some working from home? I'm sure you are looking at options.

I did change after DC1 but because of redundancy. It was from local to a 1 hour each way commute, but with flexibility of working from home. And I leave the office at or before 3 every day so I can make dinner for DC. What I'm saying is that flexibility can come in many forms.

SaltyMyDear · 10/08/2016 07:29

I changed career when my DC were older because having DC changed my life outlook and values.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 10/08/2016 07:31

Yep, was a senior communications manager, now a freelance copywriter from home.

Believeitornot · 10/08/2016 07:38

I agree with the comments about the commute (5 hours!!). That's insane.

Why can't you move? Is it because of schools?

We moved house with the long term aim of giving me more career options ie so I could take a pay cut and retrain if need be. I'm still in my current job, with a long commute (75 mins each way) and I've told myself I will give it a year then decide. I'm halfway through and struggling.

But it isn't the job. I'm a senior manager which long hours. However I take my work home and work four days a week. When the kids get older I suspect I'll want to be around even more so might have a massive change then. I'm undecided but reluctant to give up my senior status as, ironically, I have more flexibility in this field than I would it I was more junior.

davos · 10/08/2016 07:44

I didn't move jobs after having kids.

I did however move before ttc. Dbro worked for a company and was banging on about all the benefits and how good they were to staff and had great maternity benefits (6 months full pay etc)

I didn't like the job I was doing at the time (crap pay and cramp benefits) and we were planning on starting ttc, so applied and got it.

I was there 2 years before I got pg.

It was a short commute, really good with flexible working or part time staff. I never went part time because they could always give me a pattern to suit. Always generous with compassionate leave, last minute holiday, sick leave etc.

I was really lucky that dbro went to work there. It made the years with young kids really easy.

divafever99 · 10/08/2016 07:44

I work in the same profession but dropped to a much lower grade job so I could work part time after dc1. The salary is poor but I didn't want to miss the pre school years with dc.

Muskateersmummy · 10/08/2016 07:46

I went from being a sales rep into retail management to give me more stable hours and a day off in the week when my dd started school. It wasn't just because of dd but she was a large part of the reason for the change.

I work for an independent family business so can be much more flexible around dd's needs now.

hazeyjane · 10/08/2016 07:48

Used to run my own business.

Got tired of deadlines, staying up half the night to finish job and just lost the love for it. It also became very difficult to do it when I had ds, who is disabled and required lots of apple, hospital stays and was up in the evening and night.

Volunteered at his preschool when he left and have ended up working there as a 1-1 and doing an nvq level 3.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 10/08/2016 07:55

I haven't yet but I think I'll have to.

I work in retail and the hours simply don't work when looking at nursery drop off/pick up times and my shift patterns. I could go part time in that field but I'm a manager so I'd have to take a pay cut and would still be expected to be flexible which again wouldn't work with nursery unless I put her in full time which costs a fortune. Looking for p/t work locally so I don't have to travel 50 miles a day or work till 11 at Christmas.

I'm a bit sad about it but I would never see DD or be able to collect her from nursery and they're only little once. To be honest I also feel a bit priced out of full time work-full time nursery would take up 2/3 of my wage after tax.

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