to want in laws to correctly pronounce my very ordinary name?

[DrSeuss]

I have a very ordinary, English-of-Greek-origin name. Spelled in the traditional way, couldn't e simpler, really.
For over twenty years, ILs have mispronounced it. For twenty years, I and my husband have periodically corrected them. Not a huge thing, granted but it grates every time they say it wrongly.

AIBU to slightly mispronounce their names just a little, e.g. Sarah becomes Sorah, Jim becomes Jom? Childish, I know, but it is pretty much the only thing I have asked of them in twenty years! Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children. I'd just like them to say my name without me mentally wincing!

My name is Amanda but despite my mum trying to stick to this I very soon became a Mandy. I introduce myself as Amanda these day. It changed because about 20 years ago when I first started work and my colleagues many of whom had never had to type before and were suddenly expected to use computer used the auto correct function. Early auto corrects (especially with low skilled users) changed Mandy to manly, manky, and mangy. Oh the hilarity that ensued. . I found that Amanda rarely got mangled.

My DD is Helen. I wanted to call her Helene (after Helene Hanff). After hearing a little girl named Helena be called everything from Eleanor, Helen, Hell len uh and Hell lay nah I opted for Helen. With us pronouncing it somewhere between Heln/Hel-len/Hellun. She was absolutely not under any circumstances to be called Haitch.

DS was named after Jorge Luis Borges but because I could only mangle the spanish pronunciation we opted to anglicise it to George Lewis. And he was absolutely not to be called Georgie.

For a while we lived in Switzerland and Helen's name was said as Helene which I loved but Helen didn't. George got pronounced at Gay-org which we all hated but most people undertook to try to say it as either said as Juh-org or as the english would say it.

I've spent a good hour this morning reading this thread and have said Helen more times than I do week or when I need her to clean her room. And I can see why you, DrSuess would find it annoying especially when you try to fit in and not be demanding. I don't understand opting to call ILs at Soarah and Jem, as you make such an effort to pronounce other peoples names correctly and find it rude not to make the effort why be rude. Have you asked them why they won't try to say Helen instead of Hellin?

We now live in NZ and the vowels in mine and Helen's name often get mangled. However we do tend to call the kids Gee and Haitch now and I don't know why/how/when that changed.

On the side track issue of Kay ay or Ka. I was told (and I have no reason to believe it's really true but I like the story) that sometime in the early 90s when Focus Groups were all the rage that Ford set up their own Ford Car Naming Focus Group. And the first names they came up with Ka, Focus and I think that there was a passenger van called Group.

I really don't think it's an accent thing.

Op hAve you considered Nell?

I am totally ok with the whole different accents pronouncing things slightly differently (very big of me, yes, I know) but I am totally convinced the Hel-in thing is not that!

And again

(You are being offensive.)

I had a friend called Sharon when I was growing up and her Mother pronounced it "Sharin"

I think she thought it sounded better.

Helen and melon are similar I guess maybe helun but then I say melun and my nickname since primary school has been helenmelons plus you only have to attempt to get an id or user name and helenmelons is always taken 😩
I actually love haitch

How are Helen and melon not alike ? Everyone says Helen melon ! (Except the people that say Hellin obvs.....)

Again, Helen and melon identical In my Scottish accent Hel-in and Mel-in

I used to work at a car insurance company and we said Ford K A, as saying Ford KAr would obviously have had potential for confusion! Before that I had always said KAr as I believe that's how it was supposed to be said. Obviously accents would mean the word car would be pronounced differently in different areas though.

Nobody calls me Haitch. It's Aitch.

I am Southern and definitely say Helun and melun which rhyme in my accent. I think the differences are quite subtle though and I wonder why it irritates you. Someone at work calls me Row e (like egg) na when everyone else calls my Row ee na (which is correct). I corrected him a couple of times and then let it drop as he clearly struggles with getting it right which is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. If you really want them to get it right explain that it should be pronounced like the French spelling of Hellene - that should help

Our family surname gets constantly mispronounced. My husband's first name too. So does mine, when I think about it. I can honestly say, I don't give a flying fuck. I don't see it as a battle to pick and I don't get why people get so precious over it.

Hellun/Hellin

Stevun/Stevin

Mam/mammy

Hellen needs an e on the end for me to pronounce it as Helene.

It's just accent and part of our rich tapestry

PrimalLass and Private Pike How on earth is it 'offensive' to say that mispronouncing a name is not an accent thing? ? What are you on about?

It's not remotely controversial to say that, yes, people have different accents. But equally, some people WITH THE SAME ACCENT say certain things differently. What comes out of your mouth is definitely influenced by your accent, but, umm, there are other factors. I have virtually the same accent as my mum. But she chooses to say Hell-in. She is capable of producing the schwa vowel sound. She chooses not to in that word.

THAT IS A CHOICE NOT AN ACCENT.

I haven't said anything about your accent. It's surely a given that people have different accents? When did people get so precious about it. But calling someone Hellin when that's not their name is just weird.

Well I've listened to the Archers and while Anna Tregoran said Hel'n, I felt Shula Archer veered more towards the Hellin. But the diifference was so subtle, I can't see it's worth losing any sleep over.

For me if it's purely about an accent and is rather like saying all northerners are uneducated dicks or all southerners are p posh twats. And op has said her accent is different from theirs. We know the second vowel in Helen is barely pronounced. It sounds all about her feelings towards these people. But does she want to listen to me. Does she fuck? I've now said the same thing three times. With no response. So are you right fighting? Because it sounds like it. If not, do yourself a great favour and PICK YOUR BATTLES.

Merchant This for a start:

Oh, and choklit - really??

Yes. Fucking really.

errm ok... But someone up thread said thatpeople who say 'choklit' make her want to punch them. No issue with that, but my little 'really?' makes you get all sweary?

I really have no idea why the light-hearted notion of how people pronounce a piece of confectionery is so close to your heart.

Is your name Chocolate?

I only commented on the Helen thing because it's a phenomenon I've noticed before - ie a couple of people have randomly said this -people who otherwise say 'mel-un, 'ev-un'. Hence I made the shocking and inflammatory statement that in my experience it's not an accent thing.

Are you really suggesting that if the OP's pil were to try to pronounce the most common vowel sound in English at the end of her name, instead of an 'i' sound, they would be physically incapable of doing so? Because I think that's ridiculous.
I know it's a' thing' to disagree with the OP and get all offended on behalf of the other party in AIBU threads, but this is taking it one step further.

THAT IS A CHOICE NOT AN ACCENT. Possibly for your mother, who knows, but not for me, and your seeming refusal to accept that is bizarre and offensive.

Unless she says "oh, I prefer to say Hellin" then you don't know that it's a choice. I said further down about how I say the word theatre. I have no idea why XH used to take the piss out of how I said it as it sounds like everyone else to me.

All of you need to watch this.
Scottish people stuck in a voice activated lift because of the way they pronounce eleven.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=sAz_UvnUeuU
I'm always amazed on these threads how people act like someone having a different accent to theirs is something they have never come across. Do some people never watch the tv or talk to people not from their home town?

Fwiw I am southern, I would say Helen and melon to rhyme. Both with an 'un' sound on the end. Oh and choclut for chocolate.

possibly for your mother, who knows, but not for me

oh, so you don't know that most people pronounce it 'uh' not 'i' despite 21 pages of discussion? Now that is just obtuse.