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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to push this intern out of the window

149 replies

Rosamund1 · 08/08/2016 12:47

I've got nice shoes older than he is but that's not why I am annoyed.

He is the son of one of the owners friends and he will finish uni next year. This is a small firm so excellent opportunity to get some experience.

I am looking after him and to get him started I asked him to write a couple of pages of the impact a change of legislation may have on our clients. I gave him a full day to produce something. I told him that I acknowledge that at uni you may have days or weeks to write and research, but on the ground clients want answers quickly so it was an excercise in speed as well as content. At the end of the day he said he's not ready. And the next day. FFS.

Then I asked him for a list of for example dentists in a five mile radius because we are going to write to them. A whole day later he produces a handwritten list. My local dentist is not on the list. I told him that the job is not glamorous, there is a lot of admin.

Next, we are having a meeting with a big client. I said he could sit in on the presentation. As preparation please read the file and prepare a one page summary of the background, clients needs & where we are to date. He didn't do it. He just attended the meeting, no prep. Obviously he would not be presenting but come on.

He is scruffy and he mumbles instead of talking. He gives the impression he does not want to be here - forced by parents perhaps. I have looked after other interns before but none like this.

Sometimes I walk past his screen and he has some random internet page open. I ask if he has anything to do and he says no. I told him at the beginning that we can't babysit him, if he is at a loose end he can ask anyone in the team for something.

I'm not going to point out his general lack of interest and uselessness to the boss, who is his mum's friend. I am not going to stick my neck out and say 'You need to stand up straight, tuck your shirt in and look lively.' I will just memorise his name and try and avoid him in a professional context. Or just push him out the window.

OP posts:
WistfulReflections · 08/08/2016 13:41

Have I missed the bit where it says it's a paid position?...

Grausse · 08/08/2016 13:44

This stings because I have a 20 year old DS who would go down on his knees for such an opportunity. He cannot understand that working his socks off and getting top grades is not enough. Sadly I have no connections.

Having said that, maybe give this lad the benefit of the doubt? He sounds very immature. I know he's a uni student but it may very well be the case that no one has cared enough to state the obvious to him. That he needs to work hard and fast, to do what he is told and make a good impression. As his supervisor presumably it's part of your job to give him feedback? Be brutal with it.

1moreglassplease · 08/08/2016 13:45

I feel your pain. When I worked in the City we were always landed with the sons of clients/senior managers etc that wanted to be lawyers and most of them didn't want to be there. One was actually told he had to do a fortnight with us because he'd annoyed his parents - basically we were just his unpaid babysitters. Sighs of relief when several of them left and nobody learns or gets anything out of the experience so it's a waste of everyone's time.

The real issue is that so many youngsters from poorer backgrounds/no contacts who wanted to work for us didn't get the chance.

LockedOutOfMN · 08/08/2016 13:45

You can throw him out of the window and let someone who's keen to work climb back in.

Agree with the previous poster who suggested drop a note on his desk every morning with a list of stuff to do. At the end of the day, you could come up and - in front of him - tick what's been done, then add tomorrow's tasks.

VladmirsPoutine · 08/08/2016 13:45

I've worked with recent graduates a bit like this. It comes as quite a shock to them that the world of work is very different from turning in assignments.

I had the most agro from a graduate who'd got a 1st from a RG uni and felt the admin part was below her Hmm

MunchCrunch01 · 08/08/2016 13:54

Locked's suggestion is great. I ended up with a team member like this, he felt he was too smart for the job, I fervently encouraged him not to put off doing his PhD (it never gets easier to study and get out of paid work, seize the opportunity). Thankfully he did leave to do it.

Floisme · 08/08/2016 14:04

I think you're being harsh. I was absolutely useless straight out of uni and even worse, arrogant with it. I got better because I was lucky enough to have a couple of fabulous colleagues, much older than I was, who gave up their time to nudge me in the right direction. I always think of them now when we get young staff in, however inept they are at first.

Is he being paid? I agree about internships in general and how they're widening a class divide. But he's not personally to blame for that.

JinRamen · 08/08/2016 14:05

Sounds like a nightmare!

HugItOut · 08/08/2016 14:15

I don't think it's relevant if he is being paid. He either wants to be there or he doesn't. No one is forcing him.

How about a bit of micro managing. Give him lists and keep checking on him. Ask him if he needs help if he us being slow. I'd also give him definite instructions about not faffing around. Tell him he can't use social media at work.

Is he working out of site from you?

At the moment he is fannying around because he can.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 08/08/2016 14:18

The thing is Floisme, there's a difference between being green but enthusiastic and both OP's and my interns who just don't seem to want to put the effort in.

For my company it doesn't appear to be divided by class - there's openly advertised paid applications for interns each summer so we tend to get quite a range of backgrounds. I've not noticed either the posh or working class interns being noticeably better or worse - but the key is that up until this one, they've made an effort, they've listened to feedback and it's actually been rewarding to manage them because they want to improve.

This is the first time in eight years that I've had to feedback half way through an internship that we may have to let him go, to say that it's not acceptable to leave at 3pm anyway, but particularly not when you've still not completed your work. It's actually painful trying to find things for him to do because we don't tend to have "busy work" in our job and I'm starting to resent spending hours a week trying to coach him into doing a job that I could easily complete in an hour.

GarlicMistake · 08/08/2016 14:24

It doesn't yet seem clear whether the problem is lack of initiative or lazy entitlement. Before dropping him off the fire escape, it might be worth spoon-feeding him a bit better.

So what Babetti said about the report, and "Do a Google Maps search for dentists within 5 miles of this postcode." You know, not just what to do but how to do it. Or at least ask him how he's planning to do it [evil grin]

Sure, give him a Stern Mum treatment, as well. Won't do any harm!

If he's still being a dickhead by the weekend, I'll come and help you tip him out.

Floisme · 08/08/2016 14:28

I will concede, he does sound difficult!

I'm starting to resent spending hours a week trying to coach him into doing a job that I could easily complete in an hour.
Yup, know that feeling well. But I still come back to the fact that he's not even finished uni yet. This could be my son or one of his friends in a couple of years (not that we're in any position to find an internships for him, yet alone suppport him in one).

I just think we have very high expectations of young people these days - much higher than anyone had of me at their age - and I really feel for them.

I don't think it's relevant if he is being paid. Well I couldn't disagree with you more.

KoalaDownUnder · 08/08/2016 14:31

'the boss, who is his mums friend'

There's your problem. Pisses me off, this kind of thing. Angry

pimmsy · 08/08/2016 14:37

Demand he does the dentist list again in a excel spead sheet and make him do it over and over again until it is acceptable....

Then give him something really boring and crap to do (Get him to pre prepare all the christmas card enveloppes for clients, hours of handwriting addresses on enveloppes ... or invent something if you have too...).

Once he has correctly completed this mundane task, he should find anything that requires a bit of initiative exhilarating.

If he does well and up to standard... he gets a less boring task... If he fucks up, it's back to archiving or whatever... The boring task has to have a least 1 physical component, even if it's just sticking different stickers to files to colour code then. It needs to be visually verifiable.

Good luck !

Rosamund1 · 08/08/2016 14:38

Thanks for the suggestions. He is not paid and yes, I do agree that perpetuates inequality. However, he is here to learn, to get the benefit for himself and he is wasting it.

Even with small talk, he won't engage. An internship is for making contacts in the industry as well as experiencing the industry. I asked him
'so, are you following the olympics'
'Yes'
Is there anybody or any sport you are following'
'No' sulky face

Alrighty then.

OP posts:
Patsy99 · 08/08/2016 14:43

Also think you're being a bit harsh. Lots of people make so many mistakes in their first jobs and an under grads often don't know how to conduct themselves in an office environment.

I remember being told off for reading the paper at work (as a trainee) when I was waiting for something and it genuinely hadn't occurred to me that this would piss off the people around me who were rushing ot meet a deadline. Makes me cringe now.

Give the give of blunt feedback!

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 08/08/2016 14:44

Maybe our expectations are high but
a) he's getting paid the pro rata equivalent of £30k PLUS accommodation for the role so I think high expectations are justified
b) he's doing the same level of job as every other intern we've got / had and he's the only one who is an issue and I'm 90% sure it's just plain laziness
c) believe me when I say that I am giving him plenty of support, offering guidance on how to do the task and he just doesn't care, even when I've asked him to spellcheck emails - it just isn't a priority for him.

annandale · 08/08/2016 14:45

I agree, how incredibly frustrating.

I would write a full record of everything so that you can pull it out if you are ever asked to give him a job.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 08/08/2016 14:47

Sorry OP - totally hijacking your thread there but feel your pain!

GarlicMistake · 08/08/2016 14:49

I always found it helpful to explain why this task needs doing, as well. When you know the job it seems obvious, but those connections aren't intuitive to someone who's been studying faits accomplis.

It's generally quite easy to explain the purpose, but sometimes it isn't. Then, it should be enough to say how their task feeds into the bigger effort - this even applies to tidying up the post room :)

Rubies12345 · 08/08/2016 14:51

Isn't it illegal to not pay him? I thought interns had to be paid the min wage now?

LyndaNotLinda · 08/08/2016 14:52

He sounds awful. In my experience though, interns are all either keen as mustard or absolutely hopeless and are there through nepotism. Not much in between

GarlicMistake · 08/08/2016 14:52

One, you've got a corker there. Would you like a hand tipping him into Intern Room 101?

Rosamund1 · 08/08/2016 14:55

No worries Dodo, in fact maybe we can organise a 'Strangers on a train' setup so we both have an alibi.

I'm not going to neglect my work to take time out micromanaging him. Maybe I will take him aside and give a gentle hint but no way am I going to be so blunt that I get on the wrong side of boss' friend and by extension,boss, because I failed to recognise the unique specialness of her little snowflake who has an artistic temperament and is misunderstood.

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 08/08/2016 14:57

Student internships

Students required to do an internship for less than one year as part of a UK-based further or higher education course aren’t entitled to the National Minimum Wage.

Different types of internship: work experience or traineeships, for example
www.gov.uk/employment-rights-for-interns