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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or cleaners?

198 replies

Moominmummyzzz · 06/08/2016 23:18

Background: We have been using a cleaning company to clean our house for the last three years. We had seven different people and all of them (bar one) left the company. The last five months, the owners (age 72, 73) have started doing the job. We employ them to come to the house two hours twice a week (4 hours a week in total). They have also done a deep clean of the house (8 hrs) in April. We pay £12.50 per hour so around £200-225 a month.

DH and I have a toddler and we both work full time. I mainly work night duties. DH and I are really knackered as we have no family nearby to help us. We have someone to help us clean our house for our mental well being.

Since the owners have taken the role, I have noticed the following

  • cancelling the job at the last minute (like texting at 12:00 to say they cant come in for 12:00 noon job)
  • charging us for days they did not turn to work (this happened twice but did not question it for goodwill as we have used them for three years)
  • last week owner/cleaner was to do a two hour clean but she left after an hour but still charged us for the full two hours.

The owner/cleaners were suppose to come yesterday but they didn't turn up. We got this email from her today:

_
Dear Moominmummyzzz,

I have given the cleaning of your home considerable thought, and no matter how I try I can no longer contend with the state we find your home in each time we come.

I really do not want to offend you but when we spoke last you asked me to be honest, are efforts are in vane, the constant wiping of the sofa which is covered in dried on food, picking up stuff from the floors, clearing food and cereal bowls, clearing food and various other things.

Putting washing in the baskets picking up toys and various other things from the bath.

My staff and I are not servants having to clear up behind people.

You are a young couple and there is no reason why you cannot pick things up so we are able to clean, you have the capabilities of making your home a well kept and pleasant place to bring your little toddler up in.

Please take all this on board as being constructive. You are really nice people and I have enjoyed knowing you.

I put your key back through the door yesterday I hope you have found it . If I can be of any help please let me know.

-----
I'm just confused at this. It sounds like we're disgusting pigs but we are just a real tired couple with a small child. AIBU?

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 06/08/2016 23:45

I can no longer contend with the state we find your home in each time we come.

This sentence alone would make me seriously think about my house. Someone who is hired to clean describing it as a 'state' would leave me mortified! Clean up!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 06/08/2016 23:47

You have been binned by your cleaners because your house is too untidy to clean. I'd be too embarrassed to post on here.

This.

Lemonwords · 06/08/2016 23:47

You sound better off rid of them. What rude people: we don't always have time to put bowls away in a morning and our toddler means there is bits of food around. I wouldn't expect a cleaner to put my dishes in the dishwasher but to just pop them to one side or clean around. Otherwise you're cleaning for them to clean.

The best cleaner I ever had did everything. We walked around the house and I explained exactly what I wanted and she quoted based on that. If there was stuff left out like toys she would pile it up either on a bed or on a chair and clean round. I was clear it wouldn't be a tip but there may need to be some picking up of stuff. It worked well.

Get someone who does what you need them to.

celeste83 · 06/08/2016 23:48

I think it must be hard to actually clean if there is clutter, and how to even know where to put other people's clutter away. To be a cleaner is to clean/hoover/dust, obstacles that get in the way must make it difficutl.

honeysucklejasmine · 06/08/2016 23:49

Her email may be rude, but if it's true YADBU.

Johnny5isAlive · 06/08/2016 23:50

I'd be annoyed by that mail. So much so that I would have to reply. Thanking them for their feedback and similarly offering yours - their service was poor towards the end with cancellations, half arsed jobs, incorrect billing etc.

SleepFreeZone · 06/08/2016 23:51

I can sort of see their point having been s cleaner in a family home in my twenties where everything was always strewn about and yes it took me three times as long to get the house cleaned.

BUT that email was extremely rude and it's the kind of problem that should have been discussed with you, not written down in such a way that they are accusing you of being filthy pigs.

coolaschmoola · 06/08/2016 23:51

It IS harder with a toddler, I completely agree. Working in demanding jobs with small children and a house to run is hard work Flowers.

What I do is a blitz tidy the night before the cleaner is due, once the child is in bed. I hate it with a passion. I'm usually dead on my feet and DH works away that night every week too (he claims it's a coincidence - I'm not convinced Hmm). It's shit but it's something that needs to be done, same as laundry.

catsofa · 06/08/2016 23:52

Is it possible to employ tidiers then? The cleaning takes no time at all in this house if all the tidying is done, but the tidying takes ages and is the bit I'd like some help with - stacking dishwasher, moving laundry, putting toys away etc.

WorraLiberty · 06/08/2016 23:54

I don't think the email is rude, it's just straight to the point.

By leaving clutter around your home, you are hindering their work.

If you paid a carpet fitter to fit a carpet - you would be expected to clear the room of furniture, or at least a much as possible.

If you paid a chef to come around and cook a meal - you would be expected to clear the kitchen of clutter/dirty dishes.

If you paid a painter and decorator to paint/paper your walls - you would be expected to remove paintings, mirrors and framed photographs, ready for them to start work.

Clearing away clutter for the cleaners to clean, is no different.

OneEpisode · 06/08/2016 23:56

I wouldn't offer feedback. I'd just say thank you, and they owe you for the missed cleans, and the missed hour.

OP, I know a colleague was fired by their cleaner. Exact same circs, they had a dc, which meant the house wasn't pre-cleaned on cleaner day. Cleaner no longer wanted the job.

Find someone that does. There will be working families out there that haven't washed every breakfast bowl, and they can find cleaners. 4 hours a week is quite a lot for a small household.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 06/08/2016 23:56

See the thing with the toddlers is that everyone last one of us parents has had them. But we don't leave dirty mess around so our cleaners can't clean.

I don't think having a toddler is an excuse for laundry everywhere or dirty dishes out. Possibly for bath toys but that's about it.

LittleBearPad · 06/08/2016 23:56

You'd do better to just tidy the clutter than Hoover. Food on the sofa is a bit grim.

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 06/08/2016 23:59

Sorry but that email was so passive aggressive I'm just Grin YADNBU about that or your complaints about payments, not showing up,overcharging etc.

YABU to leave bath full of toys and food in bowls around the house. She's sorta right that doing things like that is treating them poorly.

nooka · 07/08/2016 00:01

Given their poor service I'd just ignore this email and find a new cleaner or cleaning service. Personally I'd opt for a once a week service so that they are cleaning rather than just tidying rather than fewer hours twice a week. I've never tidied for my cleaner, that seems to miss the point although I know it means we paid more for the service as obviously it took a bit of time for our cleaner to put things away as she went around, and we paid for that time. It meant that once a week the house was lovely, which I think was more of an incentive to try and keep it tidier.

Sounds to me that you are better off without this particular service, they don't sound like good employers and obviously don't like themselves to have to do the work (which is fair enough, but not your issue).

GloGirl · 07/08/2016 00:02

Hilarious, people use Mumsnet to post about arse spots, abusive relationships, poonamis and bumsex at CenterParcs

But posting about an untidy home on an anonymous forum? Shock I'd be so ashamed I'd dare not whisper it to the wind.

Lavenderhues · 07/08/2016 00:02

I think that's just part and parcel of what a cleaner does tbh. I'm astonished at those of you who do a precleaner clean! Shock why would you even bother getting a cleaner?

I've had cleaners for years and I've never met one who would bat an eye at any of those things. My current cleaner tidies, does dishwasher, makes beds etc. The best one ever was the one that periodically took all the cushions off my sofa and hoovered under them. I wanted to marry her Grin

WaitrosePigeon · 07/08/2016 00:04

I don't think it's a rude email.

I think it hurts because you know there is truth in it.

violetbunny · 07/08/2016 00:04

We have cleaners and always make sure surfaces are cleared, no dishes left out, no clutter on the floors etc. Our cleaners have provided a schedule of the specific jobs they do and tidying up isn't one of them.

If tidying isn't part of the service you're paying them for then YABU and you need to find someone who is willing to do that. I think their feedback to you could have been phrased more constructively, but I think the intention was to help you so that you don't face the same issue with another company. They could easily have just given you another excuse as to why they no longer want to clean.

wizzywig · 07/08/2016 00:05

Wonder if this'll end up in the daily mail

JudyCoolibar · 07/08/2016 00:05

I'm probably the untidiest person I know, but even I would manage to wipe food off the furniture before it dries on, and get dirty washing into the baskets and not leave it on the floor. They probably find it frustrating that they can't clean properly because they're wasting so much time manoeuvring round the clutter.

Original poster
Moominmummyzzz · 07/08/2016 00:09

Thanks again

I always did the pre-clean the morning they were due to come in but will now do so the night before.

Clothes and dishes happened occasionally when I'm away and unable to do the pre-clean in the morning.

We didn't mean to treat them poorly and I thought we had a good relationship with them. I feel a bit sad that it ended this way.

I can now see that we both had different expectations and thanks for the suggestions and comments.

OP posts:
TheHuntingOfTheSarky · 07/08/2016 00:09

Meh. If they don't want the work, fuck 'em. Our cleaner clears up plates and loads the dishwasher, what's the problem with that? She arrives at 8am, I'm damned if I'm going to clear breakfast myself when she's due any minute. We pay her £10/hr and we're in Surrey. Am sure you can find a non-crazy person who'll do it happily for that price without the patronising and unnecessary comments. Don't let it upset you, you're not slobs!

PlotterOfPlots · 07/08/2016 00:11

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. It's just the wrong fit and you need to find someone different.

We do a manic pick-up before the cleaner comes, but you're paying them to come for a decent stint, twice a week, so I wouldn't have thought you'd need to do much of that. How messy can it get in 3 days?! But I think you should sweep bathtoys into some sort of basket and clear toys and clutter off the floor unless you have an explicit agreement with your next cleaner than they are happy to do that. There

Lemonlady22 · 07/08/2016 00:17

i had to laugh at this....you both work full time, days and nights, you have a toddler and you are too tired to tidy up after yourselves....if you have a cleaner for two hours twice a week.....do you not clear up after yourselves on the days the cleaner doesnt come....or do you leave plates and bowls and food stuck on furniture for when the cleaner does come.?...im not surprised you have had 7 cleaners plus the owners in the last three years.....sounds disgusting. There is a difference between tidying up after people and cleaning.....you sound like you need a maid!

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