......to tell my friend that as a best man a £50 wedding gift is reasonable?

[Ronagtl]

It's been a while since I was buying gifts for a wedding so seeking views please! Friend of mine is being best man later this year and is unsure what would would be reasonable to spend on a gift for the couple. It's a fairly traditional affair with a pretty established couple. No mad stag do in ibiza planned that I'm aware of....Friend is just retired so not rolling in it and will have hotel, travelling and other ancillary wedding costs I assume. I thought £50 would be very generous....views?

Personally, I'd think at least £50 per person at wedding. Couple would be minimum £100. For family, I'd give at least £100 solo and I'd class best man as very close so that would be £100 minimum too.

£50 is our standard gift to close friends and more distant relatives (cousins). We got a variety from guests for ours, but understandable as it was a destination wedding. However, I'm still bitter three years later that my brother didn't even give me a card, especially as he walked me down the bloody aisle!

I've been a bridesmaid twice as an adult. The first time I was single and in a relatively well-paid job. I gave £50. Second time around DH and I were renovating a house, and I'd changed careers (and taken a pay cut). We'd also only just got married ourselves. I gave £30 then.

What I'm saying is- it's ok to give what you can afford. I wouldn't have wanted any of our guests to struggle to buy our wedding gifts.

You spend what you can afford. There is no "correct" amount and anyone who expects a certain amount is a not nice person

"Personally £50 Is at the very bottom tier of what I'd spend on a wedding gift, and I'd certainly try and give more if I had a role in the ceremony, like your friend has, but I realise I'm very much in a minority here."

Our normal spend is higher too, but we can afford more. There's no way of knowing whether this best man can. £100 as a proportion of his monthly income might be a very significant sum to find, and he might normally only give £20 for weddings.

Depends on the wedding. If it's a first wedding, then £50 is very generous. We don't tend to spend that much on a gift. If it's a second wedding, then we just take a token gift as they shouldn't need anything for their home.

I'd only spend that much if a very close relative.

Marriage isn't about what you can fleece from guests but the sharing of vows.

£50

That's nearly a weeks food budget for the 6 of us,

I think it's really greedy to expect a gift in relation to the amount you've spent on the wedding! You choose your venue on what you like and can afford, not what gifts it gets you, surely!??

People gave us very different values of gifts at our wedding. I can't even remember who gave what, I barely noticed. We were delighted with all gifts.

OP your friend shout give whatever he feels is right and he can afford. We might give £200 to close family, £50-75 for good friends or people we were part of the bridal party for, and £20-25 for general friends. But it really shouldn't matter. It's not what a wedding is about.

£50 is standard, my husbands brother was his best man, he came with his wife and 2 kids, we brought his suit, never expected him to take into consideration of said suit when he gave us the cheque, we were pleased he was best man (not so pleased he got raging drunk before his speech and had to be taken out by his wife for repeating speech over and over)

'I think it's worth considering how much his attendance will cost the B&G. How expensive is the venue?'

I don't think so at all. It's their lookout if they want a flash wedding and they shouldn't expect their guests to pay for it or if they do then charge admission and be done with it.

He's on a fixed income. £50 is plenty.

I'm not being snotty, it's just an opinion. Obviously if you can't afford it, then you don't give it.

Is this a reverse?

No one can say without knowing his financial situation but at the same time no one could be annoyed about receiving £50 or feel hard done by its generous.

Same as you Holly, but Irish as well. You'd have to stump up at least €250 as a best man here.

It totally depends on his personal circumstances. We got £50 from friends and upwards of £200 from family and that was 16 years ago. The last wedding we went to DH was best man and we gave £250 but it was an extremely close friend, a much older groom getting married for the first time, we never thought we would see the day and most importantly we could afford it. Generally I'd go with £100 but weddings are a) usually local so no accomodation costs and b) always with an open bar so no other costs on the day other than babysitting.

We're going to a wedding of friends shortly. Second wedding for both of them. They have asked for money as a gift and we were planning to give £50. I'm now worried that's not enough. To be honest, I was quite surprised that they asked for gifts at all as they are very well off, mortgage paid off etc. Do people really spend £100 minimum on wedding gifts?

Blimey, dp was best man and I was a bridesmaid last year for our best friends.
We gave them rather a lot more than £50 but that's proportionate to our family income.
Give what you can afford and are happy to spend, I don't think there are any 'rules' and I think 'covering your plate' is a ridiculous idea. The last 2 weddings I've been to have been hotel affairs where the food cost £60/£80 a head. There's no way you would know that unless you knew the people who were getting married or had other inside knowledge. The one previous to that was a far cheaper affair, it was in fact, bring a plate of food and a crate of beers - should they have paid us?! We gave all 3 couples the same amount.

I think its OK.. It wouldn't go down well where I live but in England it seems like that amount is ok

£50 is absolutely fine. I don't think I've ever given more. The idea of giving €250 euros is absolutely mind boggling to me. Especially when you factor in that nearly every wedding I have been to has cost me hundreds of pounds to attend.

Im Irish as well and 50 pounds is fine.They didnt invite him fort he size of his wallet.You cant magic money out of thin air.And you should only give what you can afford.

£50 sounds about right to me. I have thankfully never been invited to the sort of wedding where there is an expectation to give a huge present. I am 40 now and all my friends are now married, some 15 years ago, and some in the last couple of years, and I have never heard a single one of them complain that a gift was too small or less than they expected.

By which I mean that it doesn't seem to have changed much over time, a gift is still appreciated as much in recent years as it was in the past.

I think those saying £50 is minimum acceptable or not enough must be financially fairly comfortable. It is absolutely fine and not to be sniffed at at all.

My DD was bridesmaid for my niece. We gave them£75 and felt generous! If I felt I had to stump up at least £100 or more like £200 as a member of the wedding party I'd never go to a wedding!