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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS being pillion passenger on motorbike

14 replies

redskytonight · 05/08/2016 18:36

DH wants to take DS (12) as a pillion passenger on a motorbike.

I hate bikes - I've known a couple of people who've died in motorbike accidents and several who've been seriously injured. I'm really n?ot happy with DH having a bike, but accept it is practical for his (short) commute to work and he doesn't really use it much.

DH thinks I am being overprotective and DS will be fine. I am not worried about DH's capabilities as a rider, but the things beyond his control, such as other drivers on the ride!!?

I can see this becoming a major bone of contention.

AIBU?

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 05/08/2016 18:51

He should know it's not how safe he is, it's how safe other people are.

Also pillion riders generally come off worse in accidents.

I used to ride a bike and wouldn't let my DH have one

TrashPanda · 05/08/2016 18:53

My Dad used to take me and my sister on the back of his. At 12 and 13 we travelled to Barcelona with the bike and took it in turns on the back of his and the other two bikes we went with. It was loads of fun and the riders were very conscious of us on the back. Unfortunately Dad can't ride anymore due to a horrible car accident. I think if your husband takes it slow and id a competent defensive rider then your son should be fine.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 05/08/2016 19:06

I was pillion passenger from the age of about four. I've fallen off; been nudged off; forgotten to put my visor down and fallen asleep. I've never been seriously injured. As long as he's got a helmet and your DH is careful, I think things will be fine. And you'll probably find DS gets bored because it's not that exciting, but if he doesn't, get him some leathers.

JudyCoolibar · 05/08/2016 19:12

I still bear the scars from when I was knocked off the back of my father's motorbike, so I have to say I wouldn't be keen. As PP have said, the issue is not your DH but other drivers.

olderthanyouthink · 05/08/2016 19:23

It's true that it's other (car) drivers that make it dangerous.

Both my dad and I ride, we've been pillion for each other many times and feel as "safe" as we normally do (I do hate being pillion on roundabouts though, the angle makes me uneasy).

I was pretty suprised that my parents were fine with my brother coming on the back of my scooter (he was physically 14, mentally about 3/4 at the time). But he could mostly follow instructions and wore almost full gear. He was fine, we both were (until he pulled me off during an autistic meltdown) . We mostly stayed on little local roads.

Would you let your son ride a bike? He's old enough to ride in the road, a car could hit him doing that, and he'd be wearing less protection.

BertrandRussell · 05/08/2016 19:24

Do you feel you have the right to stop him?

tararabumdeay · 05/08/2016 19:24

I'm sure your DH knows about 'defensive riding' and will be extra defensive with you DS as pillion.

The awful thing about motorbikes is that it's a very lonely experience when one gets to where one is going. In a way, the thrill is in the getting there. Your DS would probably experience that thrill at his age.

Your DH, on the other hand, would probably be excited at giving his son that experience but be super vigilant.

A simple route to a definite place on a perfect day is the best way to plan. Here in North Wales a Monday or Tuesday evening is extremely quiet. If you knew where they were going and they phoned you when they got there I'm sure you would feel more confident.

It's like anything - flying, horse riding, skiing, that week at the activity centre in year 6, festivals - for the first time.

TeaPleaseLouise · 05/08/2016 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

booklooker · 05/08/2016 19:53

Some see motorbikes as being safer than cars.

ridingsafely.com/ridingsafely1.html

wheresthel1ght · 06/08/2016 10:43

Assuming your Dh is a sensible rider I can't see the issue tbh

Cars are not that big a threat to riders who are sensible. The biggest problem are idiot riders who take stupid risks

Togaparties · 06/08/2016 11:57

I see no issue to be honest. I don't have a bike licence but have ridden pillion at up to 160mph.

mrsfuzzy · 06/08/2016 14:45

toga i used to date a hell's angel now that really was a ride ! then i grew up loved bikes still but heard he was killed in an accident, put me off big time. it's other drivers that you need to look out for, pillon can be very dangerous, i'd hate for my dcs to do what i did in my teens.

timelytess · 06/08/2016 14:51

'No' is a complete sentence. When he's of age he can choose for himself. Until then, you have a duty to protect him from unreasonable risk. Any riding on motorbikes is 'unreasonable risk' for a child. He isn't old enough to take that decision for himself. Your DH should know better but clearly doesn't.

FrancineSmith · 06/08/2016 14:59

Like pp said above, would you allow him to ski, go climbing/abseiling etc? Or are you generally very risk averse? If you would allow other kinds of dangerous sports I don't see that it's much different tbh.

I've been riding pillion with my dad since around 10 I think. DS (12, nearly 13) has been rising g pillion with my dad since he was 6. Started off slow, local roads and built up from there. My dad is a very competent, defensive rider and an advanced driver so I would absolutely trust him to be as safe as can be. Also, DS is a very good passenger and quite capable of following instructions to the letter.

IMO it's the rider and passenger that would determine whether this is safe. DD is nearly 8, so older than DS was on his first ride, but I wouldn't let her near the back of a bike. She's impulsive, fidgety and anxious and would be dangerous to have as a passenger.

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