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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shop assistant told me I have a big face. Don't know whether to laugh or cry...

47 replies

laidbackneko · 05/08/2016 12:44

I was shopping for a wedding hat when she came over to help me.

First of all she told me that the one I was trying on "made me look like a granny. Please don't take offence" then said I needed a bigger hat because I "have a big round face. Again, please don't take offence."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But she did give me good advice and the hat I left with was more stylish than the one I was trying on when she found me.

But I can't stop thinking about what she said. AIBU to be a bit offended by her comments?

OP posts:

PinkPearls20 · 05/08/2016 12:46

Don't bother...the next customer might have 'a long face'....

I wouldnt let it bother me

acasualobserver · 05/08/2016 12:49

I'm sure your big round face is lovely.

J0kersSmile · 05/08/2016 12:51

I have a moon face, big hats really suit me because of this. Don't take offence she was just slightly tactless.

burdog · 05/08/2016 12:59

Something else women should feel bad about their bodies for - not having a tiny, delicate ladyface.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 05/08/2016 13:04

I know someone with a tiny little delicate lady face and she has the nickname... Pinhead.

You can't win!!

OohMavis · 05/08/2016 13:04

Yanbu to feel a bit offended.

But I mean, despite her bluntless, she did her job well and gave you great advice on a hat that suits you...

Tact doesn't come easily to everyone. She's going to find it difficult in her job as a shop assistant in a clothing store with this trait, though, unfortunately.

MrPony · 05/08/2016 13:06

Sounds like she was being very helpful with little tact! Be thankful you walked away with a hat to suit your beautiful big round face

chough · 05/08/2016 13:20

Loopy, I have a big, round face, so I'll take on board this style advice, to wear a bigger hat!

scampimom · 05/08/2016 13:22

Went into a shop once and asked if they had a particular shoe in a size 8. The assistant looked at me with thinly veiled horror and said, "Oh, I don't think we have any of THOSE sizes".

As I clomped away in my clown shoes.

toadgirl · 05/08/2016 13:23

She doesn't sound tactful, but she obviously knows her stuff about hats.

Over her years in that job, she has probably just got in the habit of assessing people's suitability for certain hats in a detached manner. You are just a body or a head to her.

I also have a big round face, there's no denying it She probably meant fuller in the cheeks or something but worded it badly.

At least she cared enough to get you into the right hat, instead of fobbing you off with any old thing. Plenty of assistants would have been too lazy to care.

RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2016 13:24

Hmm was the 'less stylish' hat you were initially interested in also, say, less expensive..........?

BalloonSlayer · 05/08/2016 13:27

My Dad conversationally told my DH he had a fat face the first time he met him. He was talking about someone he knew who had lost weight - "He used to have a big fat face! Not as big as yours but . . ." I had warned DH about my Dad but I think he thought I was exaggerating. When the shop Fat Face opened you can imagine what I said to DH.

Most movie stars have big heads and faces! Hugh Lawrie said this in an interview once, that most movie stars are short with big heads, this was to explain how he got teamed with Geena Davis as a leading lady because tall film stars are apparently in short supply. When Johnny Depp appeared on the Fast Show I thought it was Moon Face from the Faraway tree because his face was so enormous compared to Paul Whitehouse's.

I was watching Friends the other day and became transfixed about how enormous Mike's (Phoebe's husband, actor went on to play Ant Man) head was! It astounded me. The other day I saw her (Lisa Kudrow) inb a scene with whatsisname, Ross, and his head looked gigantic too, so she must have a little head.

So anyway, be comforted, you look like a Movie Star!

ArmySal · 05/08/2016 13:29

When Johnny Depp appeared on the Fast Show I thought it was Moon Face from the Faraway tree because his face was so enormous compared to Paul Whitehouse's.

Shop assistant sounds awful, OP.

0nTheEdge · 05/08/2016 13:31

YANBU to be a bit upset. It's the 'big' that's a bit offensive, as round is just a face shape and certain hat styles will suit certain shapes. I would put it down to her having poor choice of phrasing but an overall win as you got a great hat that suits your lovely round face.

myownprivateidaho · 05/08/2016 13:32

Erp at "tiny, delicate ladyface" - I have a large face and head and am quite the paragon of female beauty, thank you very much. I guess that ballet dancers have small heads, but otherwise I don't think that any particular face-size is associated with attractiveness!

Honestly, OP, I think yabu a bit. It's much better that the shop assistant actually told you if she felt that stuff didn't suit you than just tried to sell you whatever. Of course face size/shape affects what kind of hat suits you (as well as glasses etc), and yes, a small hat on a large head might not look great! The granny cut wedding dress is a bit different, since I guess even if it's unfashionable (in her view) you might have liked it, and obviously that's fine. But I don't think she was wrong to give her view. Ultimately when you go to a high end store part of what you're paying for is the expertise of the workers there -- it's a sign that they're doing their job right if they're pushing you towards styles and cuts that suit you, and styles and cuts that are likely to give you the look you want (presumably youthful rather than grannyish!) rather than pressuring you into buying anything you pick up.

MrsKoala · 05/08/2016 13:32

I have a round moon face and DH calls me 'little round bee face'. Massive hats look great on me. I wear them at every wedding opportunity.

Once i went to the hairdressers and they asked if i wanted a side parting as it 'might break up the monotony of my face', which i still laugh at. Sorry if my visage is so boring!

toadgirl · 05/08/2016 13:36

DH calls me 'little round bee face'

Aw, so cute :)

Snowflakes1122 · 05/08/2016 13:36

She sounds like she is in the wrong job. Completely lacks the skills required!

toadgirl · 05/08/2016 13:37

Moon Face from the Faraway tree

That takes me back!

Original poster

laidbackneko · 05/08/2016 13:41

Thanks all! Your comments have made me feel a lot better about my big round face

I probably was being a bit sensitive.
And I do love my new hat! So am now off to find some earrings that will suit my huge earlobes...

OP posts:

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/08/2016 13:43

I always leave hairdressers feeling deflated after their comments; you need some height at the crown to balance your round face, your hair is very porous (yes I have a fat face and hair like straw)

Beauty counters are the same; use this product to get rid of your shine, this will conceal your large pores (yep, thanks for reminding me my face is an oil slick with crater pores)

Amelie10 · 05/08/2016 13:44

She may have needed to use a bit more tact but you did walk away with a hat that suits you. Don't worry I'm sure you look great.

Huge earlobes great sense of humor !

junebirthdaygirl · 05/08/2016 13:46

When my dd was being checked for braces the orthodontist said that she was in danger of ending up with a tiny little face. In order to save her from that we spent 6000 so she could have a big face. Its a compliment so keep smiling in your new hat.

ArmySal · 05/08/2016 13:48

huge earlobes...

Good for you OP

foxessocks · 05/08/2016 13:52

I had my eyebrows waxed the other day and the beautician said she would do her best but my eyebrows are very wonky . She also asked mid wax if I'd ever considered a lip wax.

I think some people are genuinely trying to be helpful but just have no tact! I was the same though...felt like laughing and crying really!

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