To be totally fed up about other people kids bad habits

[Yeahyeahyeahs]

I'm totally sick of having friends and relatives kids stay who are massively fussy eaters, crap sleepers or just badly behaved and having it rub off on my DC. I know mine aren't perfect and they have their own annoying habits but I am fed up with having to deal with the repercussions of lax parenting.

Haha you're nicer than me OP. The last time I had relatives' kids round and they trashed my kids rooms, called DS weird because of his autism and were just generally horrid little shits, I told their parents, loudly, that I wasn't having their little darlings behaving like that in our house, and that they should probably leave before I got really ratty. Irony is, both parents are flipping teachers!!!!!!

'Can't 'not have them round' Thefitfatty as they are relatives.'

How interesting; judgemental, rude and intolerant behind their backs, and yet spineless to their faces. Either lay down ground rules, get their parents to cater for picky eaters and tell them why or decide that if you love them, you do it flaws and all.
Stop having them visit if you can't bear the contrast between their parenting and your own, or shorten the visit to a length you can tolerate, or visit them and leave when it's too much.

I think this is the crux of it. You're feeling put on and heavily pregnant with 2 littlies. I was going to say YABU. Pregnancy and location puts a different perspective on it. Give yourself a break, even a spa break. And don't feel guilty to take your dcs to McDonalds sometime if you need a break from cooking - it's not that bad on a very odd occasion (I get you wouldn't want a 1 yr old to go though). Your children are closer to being babies. Some of these children are closer to being teenagers. It's really a different age.

My Sil is very precious and overprotective with her son - he was 5 a few months ago. And yet he's not in a high back booster because he found his uncomfortable. I put him in the spare one when I drove him round I n my car!!

You're nicer than me too OP, I don't care if they are relatives or not

They are staying with me for free. This is not a hotel. I am not running a restaurant. Like it or lump it, behave or go home!

Funny I don't have relatives round that I don't like. I just get "lazy" about inviting them. Maybe they hate your parenting style just as much?

I know mine aren't perfect and they have their own annoying habits

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Kids are like farts. You can stand only our own.

Yanbu OP.

However, we eat wholemeal bread and apart from one or two, most visiting kids have historically turned their noses up at it, either politely by just leaving the offending sandwich uneaten or rather less politely by saying they don't like the bread.

I tend to use white when kids are visiting now. It's just less hassle. A lot of kids don't like brown bread.

Timetogrowup2016 - I HAVE and DO have issues getting my kids to bed at times - difference is I wouldn't sit there at someone elses house necking champagne and laughing about it - I would be MORTIFIED and trying to sort it out.

Ok, just seen you're 8mo pg!
Anything and everything will annoy you.
Hope all goes well!

Your kids are 1 and 4 and the badly brought up kids are older. One of the best pieces of advice given to me was that I ought not think I know anything about a child that has reached a developmental stage mine hadn't yet.

Anyway... if the children are staying with you on holiday they might be very excited and exuberant and it may have stuffed up whatever routine they have. That happens to most people. (have you never done things totally out of the ordinary when on holiday? Start drinking cocktails at noon for example? ).

At the weekend I had my Ils stay. Their child is 2 years old, and eats everything. Mine is 6 and autistic and will eat his main portion of meat and 2 serves of vegetables (usually raw, often toms and cucumber). My ILs were a bit smug saying how their child ate everything and was 'not at all fussy'. Mine wasn;t fussy either - until he hit the age of 3. The mistake I made back then was thinking that it was down to my superior parenting......... it really really wasn't.

Although, to be fair. When you are 8 months pg all bets are off and your relatives should be sorting the kids out and not necking champagne when you clearly can't. Kick them in the arse and tell them to sort it and to make you a cup of tea.

(I have a touch of PMT, and am still smarting over the weekend experience of my own.)

OP you are totally not being unreasonable but mumsnet is full of permissive parents who get shirty when anyone else complains or, shock horror, indicates that such bad behaviour is fucking irritating to everyone else around them.

Kids who fuck around at bedtime are a pain in the arse. Kids who are rude at the table, refuse to sit properly and fuck about, refuse your food, say out loud that they don't like it (instead of politely leaving it at the side of their plate and eating what they can) are a pain in the arse. Kids who spend all their fucking waking hours in front of an iPad or a TV instead of being normal sociable human beings are a pain in the arse. Kids who are allowed to leave their dinner and still have an ice cream or ten, eat their pudding first instead of main course, generally spend all day eating shit, are a pain in the arse. Because when your kids don't do any of that, rather where that behaviour or activity is not tolerated by their parents, they wonder why on earth someone else is allowed to behave so fucking appallingly in their own home. However, I feel sorry for these kids because they are not as big a pain in the arse as their unapologetic parents who do nothing to stop their children impinging on everyone else.

The world revolves around other people's kids these days OP - didn't you know that? Great big enormous massive fuck off YANNNNNNNNNNNBU - I hear you, raise you and feel for you.

Can you believe that some parents allow bad behaviour to rub off onto their dc?! How very dare they.

Personally I find intolerance a pain in the arse.

Kids who fuck around at bedtime are a pain in the arse. Kids who are rude at the table, refuse to sit properly and fuck about, refuse your food, say out loud that they don't like it (instead of politely leaving it at the side of their plate and eating what they can) are a pain in the arse. Kids who spend all their fucking waking hours in front of an iPad or a TV instead of being normal sociable human beings are a pain in the arse. Kids who are allowed to leave their dinner and still have an ice cream or ten, eat their pudding first instead of main course, generally spend all day eating shit, are a pain in the arse. Because when your kids don't do any of that, rather where that behaviour or activity is not tolerated by their parents, they wonder why on earth someone else is allowed to behave so fucking appallingly in their own home.

Hear bloody hear!!

What's especially galling is that these are getting a free holiday in my house and still let their kids behave like this!

They are friends and family members so I know there are no special needs or allergies or anything like that, their parents just think that because they're on holiday they don't have to parent and it pisses me off!

However, I'm much harsher than the OP, any of that nonsense and they don't get to come again,

I wouldn't have to be so intolerant if people just bloody parented the humans they decided to bring into this world. It drives me fucking insane. And it makes my own children very confused.

Yanbu.

Your first post was badly phrased which I presume is why you've ha a
hard time.
Should have just said 'how can I get out of having rude, ill mannered relatives round to visit.'

I dunno. Move?!?

I only ever want one bedroom spare in any house buy. Can't be arsed with people constantly visiting otherwise!

I find my ds is more of a pain in the arse when he is with his friend/cousins. They just wind each other up or egg eachother on

Inlovewithhubby - YES!YES!YES!

Many of the things mentioned are common with some disabilities. That is where the intolerance comes in.

arethereanyleftatall
"I only ever want one bedroom spare in any house buy. Can't be arsed with people constantly visiting otherwise!"
This. We don't have a spare room for the moment. The last 10 months have been a vast improvement

inlovewithhubby are you my double?

Yeakyeahyeahs.... get really tough and refuse to have visitors and blame it on the hormones/ mystery pregnancy illness...projectile vomiting over guests? then maybe postnatal violent tendancies towards ( certain) visitors......

Seriously though l only really like my own Dcs and a few anjelic friends of theirs...no patience for the rest

Summer - this OP has nothing to do with people with behavioural disabilities. Constantly bringing additional needs into the conversation when it isn't relevant dilutes its absolute relevance in other situations. Someone having additional behavioural needs is not the default position from which your bog standard thread originates, and yet it is incorrectly cited as such so often on Mumsnet in potential defence of bad behaviour. Continuing with that line of enquiry when the OP has specifically ruled it out is just obstinate.

Dragon/yeahyeahyeah - I am glad there are more of me out there, I sometimes feel very unusual in wanting to parent my children and, dare I say it, parent other people's little fuckers too (obviously I don't, but I consider keeping my gob shut in real life one of my greatest achievements).