Hmmm. My personal situation is that my ex had an affair, hid it from me, and then when I found, ran off with her. He has now told me he thinks she has cheated on him. I'd be lying if I said I didn't experience schadenfreude when I heard this. When I first found out, my anger was directed at her. From the drip-fed info my ex has given me, I now think she is a rather vunerable woman going through difficult life circumstances, and, going by the fact that I was an alcoholic when I met him, I rather think he seeks out vunerable women to make him feel better about himself (he seems unable to hold down a job and is addicted to smoking weed).
BUT: I am ashamed to say when I first found out, I used many misogynistic terms to describe her, as I was in shock and incredibly hurt. The fact that I resorted to this made me miserable because I like to think I'm something of a feminist. I absolutely appreciate that name-calling, etc is unacceptable and unfair, but I also feel that people cannot always be held responsible for their remarks when they have just discovered the life they thought they had was based on lies.
In this situation, the OP seems to have moved on from the initial pain she experienced, and I'm happy for her, but sometimes the hurt runs deeper than we are necessarily aware of, thus her response. I wonder if this holier-than-thou attitude would be taken if you were in the same boat fully expects posts about women being absolute besties with the OW