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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly overjoyed that my DD has stopped breastfeeding?

69 replies

PinkyofPie · 02/08/2016 22:52

My DD has just turned 3 and has been EBF since birth. I didn't plan on feeding this long but she had other ideas. I've tried gentle weaning for over a year but it was a nightmare.

I'm pregnant again and hoped when I'd dry up she'd stop feeding.

Today marks the 2 week point since our last feed. I think it's over. And I'm absolutely delighted. After 3 years I'd had enough!

Thing is I'm part of a lot of pro-BF groups, especially on FB, who are all about full-term feeding, 'crunchy' lactivisty types who would probably arrive at my home at night with fire torches and pitchforks for not putting it down to a 'nursing strike'.

Many people on these groups are in bits because their 5yo isn't as keen on BF any more, and I wanna throw a big party! I loved BF in the early days but when you have a toddler who at 2.5 still wakes 6 times a night for it it gets a bit tedious. No way am I doing it for as long with DC2.

Did anyone else feel over the moon when their DC, whatever age, stopped BFing? Or should I be a weepy mess right now Confused

OP posts:
DerekSprechenZeDick · 02/08/2016 22:55

My mum was grateful when my brother finally stopped at 2. I'm sure she did a little
Dance before heading out for nice bras and getting smashed Grin

Champagneformyrealfriends · 02/08/2016 22:55

Waking up 6 times a night?! At 2.5?! YADDDDDNBU.

FastWindow · 02/08/2016 22:55

Im a bit confused at the EBF and dd being 3.

She eats, right? Food? By herself, with a fork, spoon?

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2016 22:56

Ignore those types, it's not about what they want, but when tge child is ready, and your dd probably is. Well done for getting this far, most don't. Enjoy feeding the next one now.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/08/2016 22:57

Exactly after 6 months they should not be ebf, I think op means breastfeeding until 3.

jpclarke · 02/08/2016 22:57

Hi pinky, I am delighted that you are happy that your breastfeeding has came to an end. When I finished breastfeeding DD I was devastated, and ds is still breastfeeding and I am too pregnant can I ask how far gone you are that you dried up? Ds is 20 months and not showing any signs of giving up and line you I am still waking every night and I think I would like him to stop soon. I don't know if I would like to tandem feed. Sorry for hijacking

makingmiracles · 02/08/2016 22:58

Fast-like the only milk she's had is breastmilk, one would assume she also eats solids!

WorraLiberty · 02/08/2016 22:59

I read the thread title and thought YABU. It's not your business how your DD chooses to feed her baby Blush

FastWindow · 02/08/2016 23:00

But making the op mentioned weaning problems. Weaning is the getting off of milk and on to solids. In my book.

Hopefully just a definition mixup Smile

motherducker · 02/08/2016 23:00

Six times a night?? At 2.5??

gallicgirl · 02/08/2016 23:01

Yanbu. I shall be happy when DS gives it up. He's 17 months and giggles when I undo my bra so I doubt it will be anytime soon. At the same time it's sad because he's my last baby.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 02/08/2016 23:02

I was very happy when my youngest decided at 11 months he'd had enough.
I was a bit sad too, but no more bitten nipples.
He's nearly 2 1/2 and still needs cuddling of to sleep every dam night though. I think he might have a career as a physiotherapist, given his ability to find all my pressure points of an evening and jab them very hard with his cute little elbows.
I digress. She has stopped in her own time, that's the whole point, isn't it?

bobbinpop · 02/08/2016 23:02

I felt relieved too! It's a long haul. I did 3 years with twins and had to initiate (well, insist upon) stopping. I was very ready to stop!

CalleighDoodle · 02/08/2016 23:05

Hurrah! My dd stopped at 22 months after saying my milk was disgusting. Id just had my ds. I thought i would have to get pregnant again to get my ds to stop. Eventually he did at 2 yrs four months.

And lol worra i thought that too!

FastWindow · 02/08/2016 23:05

To answer the question, my ds didnt feed well as he was almost 4 weeks prem, so he didnt stimulate supply and i switched to formula after a month. I was glad he thrived after that, not sad i wasn't feeding him myself.

Dd fed beautifully (mix fed, took breast, expressed bottles and formula) i stopped at 6 mo as the supply seemed inadequate. Not too bothered about that as she'd had the best of what i had to give, and was teething.

The subsequent exclusive formula feeding was very freeing.

dangermouseisace · 02/08/2016 23:06

YANBU. I remember being thrilled to get my body back to myself. We had to force my kids to give up at 1 year/15 months etc as my sanity was getting close to breaking point. They aren't emotionally damaged so it's all fine.

Original poster
PinkyofPie · 02/08/2016 23:07

Im a bit confused at the EBF and dd being 3.

She eats, right? Food? By herself, with a fork, spoon?

Obviously yes, solids since 6mo, 'exclusive' part was meant to mean no formula or mix feeding

OP posts:
Original poster
PinkyofPie · 02/08/2016 23:07

Also I know what food and cutlery are Hmm

OP posts:
Junosmum · 02/08/2016 23:08

YANBU. I'm a member of similar groups (probably the same ones!) and feel really judged when I say I'm not enjoying breastfeeding. Sometimes it's great, but sometimes I wish he'd just get off my boobs! We aren't at 1year yet and we will get there but not sure I'll go much after that. DS will probably have other ideas though!

Original poster
PinkyofPie · 02/08/2016 23:09

jp I am 4 months, she kept saying my boobs were empty from about 3 months.

I know what you mean, no offence to those who do it but the thought of tandem feeding just about brings me out in hives Confused

OP posts:
FastWindow · 02/08/2016 23:09

Ok then definition mixup, good, no offence intended pinky

Congratulations on your new pregnancy! Smile

SnookieSnooks · 02/08/2016 23:10

Similar situation here ... Loved BF etc... Even trained as a BF counsellor. But eventually had enough. Congrats!

MrsMook · 02/08/2016 23:10

I ended up going cold turkey at 20 months. I'd hoped that DS would have got it down to a nice cosy bedtime feed, but oh no, he didn't want bedtime. Just any old random time on my days off work (pt). Demanding, increasingly annoyingly, and I'd had enough. For my sanity we'd gone cold turkey in the night at 18m. I'd reached my limit and had lopsided breasts following vasospasms after a bout of mastitis before he was 1 which meant I fed more on one side than the other to manage the pain. I kept going as long as I was happy with it.

There's no medals for being as crunchy as a homemade vegan lentil flapjack with no added sugar. The right length for a breastfeeding relationship is as long as its in the best interest of mother and infant. If you're glad your time is up then it's probably the right time.

PatMustardsBigTool · 02/08/2016 23:11

This is pretty much what's just happened with my DD, too. I'm also over the moon despite having loved to BF and being pro full-term feeding, etc. But full-term is definitely not for me! A few weeks shy of 3 years is plenty and I don't feel guilty at all! I know exactly what you mean about BF groups, I'm also a member of a few and some of the attitudes are bizarre and quite judgemental, which perpetuates that horrible breastapo Angry label.

My DD would still feed if she had the chance, and has asked to, but I've said no and she's accepted it, whereas a few months ago she would be in bits if I said no (easier to give in, don't care!), so I'm confident that it is the right time to stop.
Oh yes and I treated myself to some lovely new bras with fully intact straps and underwire Grin

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Although you say you won't feed as long for this one, you never know Wink Grin

milpool · 02/08/2016 23:12

YANBU at all. Feeding during pregnancy is rough, I'm battling through it at the minute but DD is only 14mo so doubt she'll want to give up yet.

Don't they say that most kids would naturally self wean between 3 and 7 anyway? 3 is an excellent run! Ignore the crunchies Grin