To be utterly overjoyed that my DD has stopped breastfeeding?

[PinkyofPie]

My DD has just turned 3 and has been EBF since birth. I didn't plan on feeding this long but she had other ideas. I've tried gentle weaning for over a year but it was a nightmare.

I'm pregnant again and hoped when I'd dry up she'd stop feeding.

Today marks the 2 week point since our last feed. I think it's over. And I'm absolutely delighted. After 3 years I'd had enough!

Thing is I'm part of a lot of pro-BF groups, especially on FB, who are all about full-term feeding, 'crunchy' lactivisty types who would probably arrive at my home at night with fire torches and pitchforks for not putting it down to a 'nursing strike'.

Many people on these groups are in bits because their 5yo isn't as keen on BF any more, and I wanna throw a big party! I loved BF in the early days but when you have a toddler who at 2.5 still wakes 6 times a night for it it gets a bit tedious. No way am I doing it for as long with DC2.

Did anyone else feel over the moon when their DC, whatever age, stopped BFing? Or should I be a weepy mess right now

A lot of women get a very emotional, loving response to feeding (oxytocin release etc) and enjoy it. Whilst rationally they know it's right for their child to grow up etc, emotionally it can be difficult to cope with.

This head/heart conflict happens all the time with kids, plenty of parents bawl their eyes out when their kid moves out of home for example.

However in our society where feeding older children is so taboo it's nigh on impossible to discuss those feelings without mothers being accused of feeding for their own reasons, it's weird etc. The only place some women have to discuss it is a few online bf groups.

I think that is very sad, and I don't think there is anything wrong with those groups providing a space for such mothers to talk openly about their feelings.

Don't be silly! I stopped ds feeding at 4, I'd had enough. I did feel bad though:(
dd then stopped about six months earlier than that with no fuss. That was brilliant :o

Both mine just completely lost interest at around 13 months. Was so happy!

BFing is a wonderful thing, but it does get wearing.

They just petered out. Then one day I realised they hadn't breastfed for a day or two. It was a completely painless process. Lovely.

I'm with aeroflotgirl. Breastfeeding for 3 years is a long time!! DS1 has just turned 2 and I really can't imagine bf him now, it seems strange. We stopped at 6 months. I was upset as it was his choice more than mine but I enjoyed my freedom. I'm sure you will too. Your FB group friends would hate me no doubt!

I want to stop bf'ing (2yrs 4 months) soon, and will be quite pleased when it stops! A new chapter begins, if that makes sense :) I have tried to say no, but my boy gets so upset that I don't have the heart to deny him. I deny him a morning feed, he gets upset but is over it in a few moments. If I deny him evening or night, he will literally cry for hours (I tried a few times), so we're not ready to give up on those yet.

Congrats on the pregnancy :) Hope it all goes well for you!

Yes that is understandable batteries, but you do not tell others what to do and make them feel bad, that is wrong, or impose your views on them!

I have a question and it's non sneaky I promise!

It seems people are basically dying for their kids to stop as it's a lot easier when the kids just decide.

But how come people don't just take Sudafed to dry up their milk to levels where the kids lose interest? Why do people who are ready to give up just passively wait for the universe to decide?? It's not like Sudafed is overnight, it can take a couple of weeks. So surely that's the best of both worlds? You initiate the process but the kid ends up "deciding"?

*snarky. You know what I mean.....

All of these debates would go so much better if we accepted that everyone is different, and that what's right for one mother isn't necessarily the best thing for another. I am fed up of women in general, and mothers in particular, being made to feel bad, inadequate or a failure because people can't accept difference and feel a need to prescribe and judge!!

It isnt passively waiting for the universe to decide. It is waiting for the child to decide.

God no I did a dance around 8 months when I weaned dc from boob

Yeah but they DO decide if the supply dries up.

Is it "cheating" then? To help them dry up when you're at your wits end? Don't you matter just as much?

Good for you OP. Breastfeeding is great, and women should do it for as long as they and the child want to.

There is really very little scientific evidence to suggest that long term breastfeeding has any impact on a child. Women shouldn't be bullied into continuing past the point where they want to stop.

Yanbu!!! Fair play to you!
I bf DD til 7 months, her choice. She completely lost interest so we had to push her to take formula until she got to a yr and she refused any type of milk. She literally despises any milk product aside from cheese.
Currently feeding DS 10.5 months and swaying between I want to stop to i want to go on forever so if he ever meets a potential wife I can scare her off with my lactation skills so he'll never ever leave me.
In all seriousness though, how do you wean off bf? Ds is a quite clingy baby so I'm thinking it might be best to do it now while he hasn't got much of a choice.
Also, did anyone experience any weight loss when weaning off?

Hey YANBU, you deserve a medal. I only lasted 3 months!

See I really don't get this constant interest in what other people do. I am happy you are happy op but really in general I couldn't give a crap if people bf for years or don't bf at all or start weaning at 4 months or 6 months.

If people still cuddle toddlers to sleep for hours well more fool them but it's their choice.

As for groups like you mention op why would you be friends with any one you think will undermine you and your parenting.

Everyone needs to but out a bit.

moonjay

With all my 4 I just stopped when I had had enough. They took to formula straight away. It's bloody uncomfortable for about 2/3 days and you lactate like daisy the cow and then for me anyway it went.

Couldn't be arsed with the cutting down feeds etc although it's more sensible to do that.

Yes Atiny Mine just switched no problem though I did do it over a week, switching one feed at a time. It must be harder with older babies/toddlers though that demand the breast.At 3 months they just opened their mouths and drank whatever!

Its ok to be somewhere in the middle and blummin hell pat yourself on the back for managing 3 years aslong as you and your dd are happy thats all that matters