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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be anoyed that friend said I'm a pushy Mum

89 replies

NotEnoughTime · 02/08/2016 17:26

Can I ask your opinions on this please?

I bumped into a friend this morning on the way to the train station (I say friend-she is the Mum of one of my DC's friends) and we exchanged pleasantries, as you do.

She asked me where we were going to and I said the Science Museum to which she said "You're such a pushy Mum" and laughed Shock I didn't say anything as I didn't know what to say Confused

Thing is last time I bumped into her (outside of the school gates) was at the same train station TWO YEARS PREVIOUSLY when we were heading to the Natural History Museum so I guess she thinks the only time I take my DC out is to a museum!

Now I know it's not a big deal but it has played on my mind today as I really don't think I'm a pushy Mum at all. In fact I could probably do with being a bit more pushy

I remember reading an article about a lady called Amy Chua who had written a book called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and she was one very pushy scary mother Grin

Can I ask

1)What's your definition of a pushy Mum? and
2)AIBU to be annnoyed that she said I'm a pushy Mum?

OP posts:
Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe · 03/08/2016 09:16

I do a lot of things that people on this post would describe as pushy. My kids are often described as happy. They are so happy and that is my goal.

Sometimes they do things that other people don't understand the value of, and yes I've been called pushy, but right now they are rolling about the floor happy as happy can be. Later on they will do some music practice which they love, one will go to dance summer school and the two younger ones you baby gymnastics.

I expect them to try hard when they get there. I don't care if they are any good- it's their attitude I'm looking at. Their friends parents can think what they want.

That woman was rude and judgemental. Raise your kids how you like.

Original poster
NotEnoughTime · 03/08/2016 09:24

Thank you so much for all your replies (too many to namecheck) I'm glad it's not just me who doesn't think that going to museums makes you an over invested pushy Mum.

Like I said previously if that was all we EVER did then I could understand why she might think I'm pushy but going to museums is just one part of my DC's lives.

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 03/08/2016 09:27

Going to a museum does not make you pushy.

But I wouldn't worry if others thought anything I have done is 'pushy'.

Sneeze182 · 03/08/2016 12:14

Sounds like a joke to me, I think you're reading into it.

NavyandWhite · 03/08/2016 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 03/08/2016 12:29

I've been told I'm pushy loads of times. DD does a lot of activities, but she asked if she could do them and enjoys them!

Going to the museum (or doing cultural activities) doesn't make you pushy. Forcing your DCs to do them when they don't want to because it would be "good for them" might, but if they enjoy it, why not?

Bobochic · 03/08/2016 15:49

Taking DC on cultural excursions during the school holidays seems like standard responsible parenting. Neither pushy nor negligent - nicely in the middle,

Absolutelynothingelse · 03/08/2016 16:40

Silly woman of course you're not a pushy mum for taking your DC to the museum. My DC love museums and would much rather go to one than play football etc. My DS ESP is a bit geeky / academic and would much rather have his head in a book then play football.
It could just be that her sporty DC hate museums so her opinion is different.
I wouldn't ignore her though or take offence she's just different because her DC prefer what they prefer. Not a reason to fall out over.

Original poster
NotEnoughTime · 03/08/2016 21:28

Thanks again everyone.

Just off to read the article about the Mum on Child Genius maybe she can give me some tips Wink

OP posts:
BerriesandLeaves · 03/08/2016 21:38

A museum is just a day out and a completely normal holiday activity. Pushy would be if you were making them do academic work for hours a day over the holidays.

Huldra · 03/08/2016 22:53

Sounds like it may have been a joke that failed, maybe it was meant to have an element of self depreciation? Hard to tell without knowing what your other conversatons are like.

Funeralcosthelp · 04/08/2016 00:57

There are museums and museums.

I used to think museums were so boring but I love those ones, I could spend days in them, we go as frequently as we can.

RhodaBull · 04/08/2016 08:16

I love a good museum - the odder the better, and so do the dcs. You do see the "educating parents" with intense competitive faces going round explaining every exhibit to their dcs (and to everyone else within earshot) and you can see them sucking the life out of the trip.

On a side issue, I returned to a pub about 100 miles away I frequented as a teen with a friend (we're now over 50) for a trip down memory lane. Coincidentally someone walked in who we'd known back then. He snorted and said, "Fancy finding you two still sitting here after all these years." I thought he was just rude but my friend was raging that he thought we were two old soaks who'd never left town. I guess you only have to see someone somewhere twice to think they do that all the time.

chaplin1409 · 04/08/2016 09:33

My youngest 2 and I went to a museum yesterday their request. My 2 love looking at things and learning about them. I can't see how that's pushy parenting

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