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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or am I indeed the worlds meanest mum?

60 replies

Titsalinabumsquash · 02/08/2016 14:28

My children have been off school 1 week and 2 days, they have so far spent every day "chilling" on the sofa and playing Xbox with friends.

The bickering has got worse and worse until today I marched in and turned it off and yoke them both to go outside.

But they're bored, there's nothing to do, no ones around (we have no local kids) etc etc etc.

I'm fed up of them being entertained by screen alone, there's no where local to go that doesn't cost ££££ r they've deemed babyish or boring so I've told them they can make their own entertainment until it's time to pick DS3 up from holiday club.

They're 9 and 11 (v.nearly 10 and 12) and I'm fed up of them moping and moaning about the house expecting to be spoon fed entertainment or screen time.

For what its worth DS1 has a scout camp 4 days this week and tomorrow they're both off out with our community support team for the afternoon.

I've been declared the meanest mum in the world and DS1 had muttered that it's akin to child abuse HmmHmmHmmHmm

OP posts:
MyNewBearTotoro · 02/08/2016 14:39

I would say it is somewhat mean if there is nothing else for them to do.

I'd guess at 10 and 12 they're a bit beyond make-believe games etc. What is available for them to do away from screens? Do you have plenty of art/ craft etc supplies be are you happy for them to do may activities like painting/ cooking etc? Have you got lots of 2-player board games or taught them 2-player card games? Is there anything to do as a pair outside in the nearby vicinity.

It's fine to expect kids to entertain themselves if there's stuff to entertain themselves with but not if there isn't. What do you do in your spare time?

gadget1974 · 02/08/2016 14:40

I am wondering if I have multiple personality disorder as I could have easily written the OP.
I got moaned at because I refused to let DS onto the computer on Sunday when it was a beautiful sunny day. We have a large trampoline in the garden, they could have gone out the front (we live in a culdesac) but no, they wanted to be plugged in all day.

NeedACleverNN · 02/08/2016 14:40

Tell them if they are bored you will find them jobs to do.

Bet they won't be so bored then

PinkissimoAndPearls · 02/08/2016 14:40

Pokemon Go as a compromise?

JinRamen · 02/08/2016 14:41

My are basically the same age. I have set up one or two activities each morning and they can take it or leave it. Quite often if the younger on starts (I have three!) the other two join in. But I am lucky in hat they seem to self limit on screens and they tend to go outside for a few hours and jump on the trampoline, kick a football. My middle also has one friend that calls around to go out and play.

Have you got something they can download Pokemon go on? Grin

mouldycheesefan · 02/08/2016 14:43

Why can't you take them out? Park, bike ride, library, museum, geocaching, Pokemon hunting, to a friends etc etc. If it wS my school hols and I just sat on the sofa for a week I would be bored and bickering too.there is tonnes of stuff in for kids in the hols.

Original poster
Titsalinabumsquash · 02/08/2016 14:43

Yes, they get showered with gifts at Christmas and birthdays, they have books, paper, crafts, board games, balls, etc etc etc.
We have a play park they can walk too and a copse to explore.
It's been raining this morning (but isn't now) they could go and stomp out their energy in puddles (maybe too old for that now?)
They wanted to go bowling and pay from their banks but they can't go without an adult and I have a baby to get to sleep, DS3 to collect and a house to tidy/dinner to make.

There is things to do they just don't want to do them because it takes effort and imagination, I feel bad that we don't live somewhere with lots of other kids to hang out with but I can't stand the sniping and bitching at each other they do when plonked in front of the screen.

OP posts:
MooPointCowsOpinion · 02/08/2016 14:45

What did they do last summer or the one before? Is there precedent for this laziness this summer, as in have you hanged the rules where before there were no rules re: screen time?

I don't think screen time is that bad, but if they're getting crabby I would definitely be taking them swimming, on a long walk, to visit friends/family because clearly they need a change of pace. I'd be making sure they have a big drink too and some fruit, they probably have headaches, and a lot of physical activity so they have an early night.

Try to alternate days, one day in with screens where you can get stuff done, one day out away from the Xbox?

Original poster
Titsalinabumsquash · 02/08/2016 14:48

They have taken my phone out to Pokemon go on although the battery won't last long. We don't have any museums or similar here to take them too and they have all the books they could ever want to read so a library isn't going to cut it. We have had lots of their friends over already and certainly will do again.

They don't have working bikes so we can't bike ride and I don't have a bike or a baby seat for DD, I also have things to do at home during the day because I work in the evening.

I'm glad mine aren't the only ones having a moan.

We do have lots planned this holidays and we still have 2 family breaks to go in this year (including Florida for Christmas but they don't know about that yet!) it's the infill days that they struggle with.

OP posts:
Original poster
Titsalinabumsquash · 02/08/2016 14:50

I'll have to make a plan I think, get the to help me list out all the things we can do to during the rest of the holidays.

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 02/08/2016 14:50

They sound bored stiff. I do think you could take them out to do something, anything. Fly a kite, do a nature trail, get the bikes fixed, whatever. One week and 2 days on the sofa does sound a bit dull.

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 02/08/2016 14:54

Do they like arty things? My mum used to get me to make birthday and Christmas cards for people in advance. I loved it and they were sweet when I was little and actually quite good when I was a bit older (if I do say so myself). Or maybe baking or making fudge or honeycomb something for birthday presents or if anyone's sick and needs cheering up or maybe to give to neighbours, or just to eat obviously.

Pearlman · 02/08/2016 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katedotness1963 · 02/08/2016 14:55

Have a board games day?

Stormtreader · 02/08/2016 14:55

I'm not sure on this whole "children should play outside and just use their imaginations!" thing, I think I'd be a bit annoyed if I got booted outside when it was muddy and had been raining with no ability to even go to something I'd paid for myself, with no friends living nearby.

redskytonight · 02/08/2016 14:55

IS there really no local kids? My DC are similar age and sounds like we have similar surroundings. I periodically throw them out the house. At the weekend they spent several hours building a den in the woods (reads - not particularly big clump of trees) with some random other children that happened to be about. The next day said children came and knocked for them ...

overthehillandroundthemountain · 02/08/2016 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

taxworries · 02/08/2016 15:00

What did kids do before screen time? I was a child of the 80s so no screens and honestly can't remember beyond building dens and cops + robbers but you need other kids for that. I think I read a lot and recall spending hours in the garden trying to make apple juice or apple perfume (???) out of sour little apples on the tree. If you had the time could you lay a treasure hunt out one evening for them to do the next day? Little clues leading to a new spot - ours used to end with the washing machine where my mum would have hidden a packet of crisps each.

SayHelloToYourNewLUHuvahh · 02/08/2016 15:01

I think my son might have been at the same cub camp.

Was it the Sussex 100?

Mine are bored out their brain as well.

Original poster
Titsalinabumsquash · 02/08/2016 15:04

No there isn't any local kids, they have 1 friend from school that lives a short drive away but it isn't safe to walk there, there is a boy that comes to visit every other week as his dad lives here, everyone else either has babies and toddlers or are pensioners.

Our local town is a 10 min train journey or a 15 min drive, DS will de doing the journey in Sep to highschool but I wouldn't trust him to take ds2 with him, I don't mind dropping them at the cinema and I can take them for a swim but not right now..

This are is crap for families, there isn't even a shop to walk too, we live backed into a train station and we have a tiny play park and that's it unless you drive somewhere.

We have a giant trampoline, we have loads of stuff but they don't want to do it. I'm pretty sure IANBU Wink

Last few summers they've been booked into sports clubs but they didn't want to go this time.

OP posts:
DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 02/08/2016 15:12

At 10 and 12 they need entertaining not just throwing outside. It's not their fault the area they live in or the fact younger siblings means less time/stops them from going places.

LilacInn · 02/08/2016 15:14

Don't they read? Do crafts? Imaginary play?

At that age my sister and I would have been doing nature study with books from the library, learning to garden, making "forts" with blankets in the garden, being "detectives" with little notepads and such, playing "office," writing "plays and books" and otherwise amusing ourselves for hours on end. We didn't even had a TV at the cottage where we spent most of our summers, nor even a reliable radio. I would worry if my kids were so dependent on passive entertainment as to literally feel there was "nothing to do" with a screen turned off.

00100001 · 02/08/2016 15:14

Gosh they should have tons to do that doesn't require money or a television

have they got a ball? Puzzles? books? crayons? a garden? outside? sticks? shoes on their feet? Then they should be fine, wherever they are, there's always something to do.

00100001 · 02/08/2016 15:17

parents definitely don't have to be the ones organising the "entertainment" either. let the kids do that. That's what we all did, surely?

Original poster
Titsalinabumsquash · 02/08/2016 15:19

Yes they do have lots. (Am I saying it wrong?) I know they shouldn't go without because of siblings or location and they really don't go without anything especially time and energy spent with them. It was just today, right now that I said "oh for goodness sake! Turn the to off and go and do something!" It was the bickering that was bugging me. I have reeled off a long list of things they can do and they don't want to do any of it so I told them to go and get some fresh air and think about it for a bit.

They've gone to play Pokemon outside now and as I said tomorrow they're out for the afternoon followed by a 4 day scout camp for Ds1.

I started the thread as I rolled my eyes at DS1 claiming I was the meanest mum EVER! Smile

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