Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to think this is a fake Chester Zoo ticket? Seriously, is it fake!?

1007 replies

user1469643462 · 01/08/2016 19:34

Yeah, I think we all know now, but is there like a 1% chance any form of ticket looks like this!?!?

This is basically a follow on too

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
user1469643462 · 02/08/2016 13:50

Thank you all very much x

No, that isn't correct! I will ask for it back, but what I was saying is that if I have lost it, due to agreeing to pay up front, I can't be too furious over it, as that's something I agreed to.

OP posts:
BlueLeopard · 02/08/2016 13:53

I'm so sorry OP, this must have been very upsetting. I think I'd be raging too. The money is a moot issue, but lying about whereabouts is a massive trust issue and gaslighting your child to think he was in a zoo when he wasn't, well, I'd need a day or so to calm down and step away from the shitstorm before I was able to coherently handle it.

You gave her many opportunities to just say "Oh, do you know, Im such an idiot! I'm so sorry, it was Wednesdays group that got the Zoo trip, not Tuesdays one. I'm so embarrassed now- no wonder your DS was confused! Tuesdays group zoo trip is planned for end of August. Terribly sorry for the mix up." And you would have accepted that mix up.

The trust has been irrevocably broken now. You were right to move your DS to new childcare and I hope that when you do tackle her for the money she owes you /reports it, that you get a satisfactory outcome.
Flowers

DeathStare · 02/08/2016 13:55

OP - I wasn't going to comment until you started getting shit off people but I think you've handled this really well.

I wouldn't phone her either. What good would it do? There's nothing she can say that will make it right and it's only likely to end in a slanging match. As entertaining as that may be for everyone following, it's hardly going to help your situation.

I think you are perfectly right to report this before you make any further contact with her. And you are right to do it in your own time, when you have feel able to do it calmly, after you have taken advice and working around the 1001 other things you probably have to do. It isn't your responsibility to keep mumsnet/facebook entertained.

I also get your point about not requesting your money back. Obviously in an ideal world you'd get it back, but I've been in a similar situation (regarding money) and didn't request it back until I'd got my ducks in a line because I knew that before that I wasn't going to get it back no matter how much I asked, and I was just going to get even more hassle for asking.

Good luck with it all Flowers

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 02/08/2016 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GarlicMistake · 02/08/2016 13:57

Not surprised your thread's now getting to you, OP!

Have a nice afternoon with your child, and report the shit out of her.
Flowers

murmuration · 02/08/2016 14:00

OP, I think you're perfectly sensible to not give her more time to prepare, and to not waste your time with her on your day with your son! Just caught up on the other thread, and how she put your son on the spot was horrible Angry

(And you probably shouldn't waste any more time on MN today either! But the way this is going you'll have to start another thread to update us all tomorrow...)

Hulababy · 02/08/2016 14:01

Don't call her.
Give yourself a little time to get everything straight in your head, and let your initial anger disperse.
Then write a calm and factual email. Put it in writing - not a verbal conversation. You need the paper trail.
Then report accordingly.

Nothing needs to happen right now today.

Farmmummy · 02/08/2016 14:05

Tbf op I can totally understand why you don't want to contact her directly and by reporting it to the appropriate authorities you are under no obligation to do so, in fact may be better not to. The more I think about the potential child safety implications of your DS not being where you thought he was if something had happened the more I feel sick anything comical has gone out the window. Glad you have got a place for him short term and hope something long term comes up soon. I would expect you will get your fees refunded after she has been investigated anyhow so don't worry about contacting her meanwhile that should be a result of what will be set in motion. I was going to send more Flowers but suspect you probably feel more like some Wine

HouseOfMouse · 02/08/2016 14:07

This is horrible, OP, by far the worst of it being how she put your little boy on the spot. He must have been so confused and probably didn't know what he was "supposed" to say. He must have felt that he had done something wrong. It's unforgiveable in a childminder, and I doubt that your son was the first or the last. I hope you manage to resolve the money side of things, and that you get the balance of your money back.

DontMindMe1 · 02/08/2016 14:12

I agree with LadyStoicIsBack

the way i see it, whether one works for a corporation or a private individual...somewhere along the line corners are cut.

In my experience, that is not acceptable when it affects the innocent parties who have not been made aware or have not been given a choice.

I feel everyone plays the system in their own way, but in THIS context - she is bang out of order and needs reporting.

Her bank balance will benefit from her fuckwittery....but where's the benefit to the children in her care? She doesn't know the dc family dynamics. i grew up with very limited opportunities for family days out, a free trip with school etc was the only time i had access to the 'bigger world'. I don't feel she has the dc best interests at heart when she's 'on duty'. THAT is NOT the kind of person i would want looking after ANYBODY'S child.

The bit that icks me the worst - she interfered in a parent & child trust - knowing full well that the dc is a disadvantage simply due to his age and perceived mental development. That's awful! Kids at that age are NOT stupid and to instigate that kind of mistrust and doubt in both the dc and the parent is just NOT ON!

If i were in your shoes i wouldn't bother contacting her. Report her to the relevant authorities and let them deal with it. The only response i would send her is "i know you didn't take ds to the zoo. please refund my payment."
Don't reply to any response other than one which gives you the refund. Any refusals and further game playing - keep it as evidence.

Neither you or any other parent who entrusts the welfare of their child to another should be treated this way.

Janus · 02/08/2016 14:12

OP I followed this from the start and feel awful for you. The thought that cm would openly lie to you about your son's whereabouts is just dreadful. I'd feel a bit sick to be honest.
I do think she should pay you the money back. I would say you contacted the zoo who confirmed that all their tickets have a barcode on it so therefore you are not sure where she got the ticket from that she tried to provide you as proof but it is obvious to you now that she has lied and you can no longer trust her.
Hope the alternative club turns out well, sounds like it should be lots of fun.

SlimCheesy2 · 02/08/2016 14:18

Op, this is your life and your son. It has blown up because of heractions, not yours. I read the original thread, and you were simpyl a bit confused and unsure and asking for thoughts and opinions as what your cm was telling you was that you could not trust your own child, and trying to baffle you in order to cover her own lying deceitful arse.

Enoughisenough9 · 02/08/2016 14:39

Whoever put the post up on Facebook was totally out of order. Then 400 other posters on it cackling. If OP wanted to post to their page she would have done so.

Not surprised the OP is fucked off with here, never mind her childminder.

Nanunanu · 02/08/2016 14:45

Op your responsibility is first and foremost to your son and you.

You have acted entirely appropriately. You have arranged further childcare for him. He is safe.

I'm sorry you feel you are getting a hard time from a mixture of posters. From those who think you are responsible for all future and past potential misdeeds of this cm to other children to those who think you are over reacting to her lying.

That's the nature of humanity. We have different opinions.

Hope you are doing OK whatever your next move. And fwiw I can under stand the desire to draw a line and not go chasing the rest of the money. And if you decide to make that choice it is not wrong to do. If you decide to put it aside for 1 or 2 weeks and then make complaints that is also not the wrong thing to do. You do what is right for you and your son

fastdaytears · 02/08/2016 14:49

Enough that's a but unfair. The OP thanked the person who put it on FB last night as it then didn't have her name on.

lougle · 02/08/2016 14:51

I hope you get this sorted. It sounds increasingly stressful.

YorkieDorkie · 02/08/2016 14:57

It's not even about the money though is it... It's about a child in the care of someone who would lie about a child's whereabouts and actually try to create evidence to prove they were somewhere that they weren't!

Lweji · 02/08/2016 14:58

Whoever put the post up on Facebook was totally out of order.

This.
Although, it could easily have gone to the Devil Mail.

SirVixofVixHall · 02/08/2016 14:59

As I said on the other thread, it was obvious she was lying as soon as she hastily produced the leaflet (of guilt..). Anyway OP I agree with you, the ripping you off, lying and stealing money from you is obviously ghastly, but manipulating a five year old? Planting words in his head and then telling him he's been to the zoo? And this a woman in charge of small children? She is clearly negligent to a point where children are not safe in her care, deceitful and manipulative, she should be banned from making a living as a CM.

DotForShort · 02/08/2016 15:02

Goodness, the OP is under no obligation whatsoever to follow the advice of anyone on this thread. She certainly hasn't lost the moral high ground.

OP, I can imagine this whole situation must be both frustrating and worrying for you. Glad you were able to find a good option for childcare. Smile

DotForShort · 02/08/2016 15:04

I mean a good alternative childcare option for tomorrow, obviously.

Corialanusburt · 02/08/2016 15:08

OP- you do have a right to being furious if you lose the money you've paid up front.
You agreed to leave tour child with a trusted adult. You didn't agree to leaving him with someone who's stolen yiurmoney and forced hin to lie to you.
I would hope she would refund it.

Horehound · 02/08/2016 15:14

.

RichardBucket · 02/08/2016 15:45

I wouldn't be calling Zoominder either. I wouldn't want to warn her that OFSTED or whoever will be knocking, and give her time to come up with excuses.

Although considering the state of her last effort to provide "proof", I doubt she'll be convincing any officials of her innocence!

Memoires · 02/08/2016 15:49

user, I think you are doing ansolutely the best thing. Spend the day with your family, deal with the cm in your own time and in the way you think best.

Yes, it started off funny, lots of posters remembering the absolutely astonishing things their children remembered about what were supposed to be unforgettable experiences, how our kids see the strangest things as the most important. That was fun and light hearted. Then the utter silliness of the cm thinking that showing you a leaflet constituted proof, but with the promise of the ticket on Monday. And then that ticket was laughable, but it also stopped being funny, especially for you.

I hope this cm gets the book thrown at her. What if there'd been a serious incident at the zoo that day you thought your son was there? You'd have been beside yourself, even for a little while. What if something dreadful had happened to you and you were telling the emergency services that your son was with cm at the zoo and they went to find him there? Worst scenario is what if there'd been a serious incident wherever the cm actually went but no one expected their child to be involved as "they've gone to the zoo, thank goodness, nearby but not affected". This is one reason why it's a safeguarding issue, in case anyone here's still wondering. I don't want to think about others.

I'm glad you've found something for your ds. I hope he really enjoys it.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.