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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if it's normal for siblings to squabble quite so much?

23 replies

JonahAndTheSale · 31/07/2016 22:41

Ok dc are v young, 1.5 and almost 3.5 but goodness me they wind each other up.

They squabble constantly.

Over everything.

If one has a toy the other wants it. That exact one despite the fact there are ten other toys within reach.

If one is sitting on a seat, the other wants it.

If I have one child on my knee or giving them attention, the other child is demanding attention.

I can get nothing done at all. I feel like a referee. ALL DAY with just BRIEF moments of playing nicely.

When does this end?

am ready for hills

OP posts:

UnfitMotherr · 31/07/2016 22:45

Erm...when does it end? I've always been told, if you can't say anything nice...

Mine are 10, 9, 6 and 2 and it never stops 😭

But the my sister and I are significantly older and we still love a good bicker!

megletthesecond · 31/07/2016 22:45

It hasn't stopped at 9 & 7 here. Just louder and more violent .

youngestisapsycho · 31/07/2016 22:46

Sorry to tell you.... I have two DDs, 10 and 14. They are still like it, do not get on at all... Squabble and fight all the time. It's exhausting!

maddiemookins16mum · 31/07/2016 22:49

About 10 and 12 in my experience. It gets easier once you can "rationalise", until then, do the best you can.....avoidance of conflict is key here...😊

YouMakeMyDreams · 31/07/2016 22:50

13,10 and 6. I'm hoping it ends one day.
The toddler bickering was a piece of cake compared to the more articulate 10 answer 13 year old with the occasional swear thrown in . It doesn't seem to have occurred to them that I can hear them yelling at each other in the next room but they expect me to hear a list of demands which I ignore from the other side of the house.

DramaAlpaca · 31/07/2016 22:51

My DC are in their late teens & early 20s now & the squabbling has mostly stopped, thankfully.

On the other hand, my brother & I are 48 & 52 and still squabble all the time

Junosmum · 31/07/2016 22:57

There's 5years between me and my sister, when she was 4 and I was 9 she hit me over the head with a plastic kiddy chair, giving me a black and bloody eye. I retaliated by pushing her over, ensuring she hit her head on the lounge wall.

Last week she criticized my parenting. I shouted at her and reminded her of some of her less than stellar life choices.

In short, it never ends.

Sallystyle · 31/07/2016 22:57

I have five and it never stops.

My 17 year old argues with my 7 year old FFS.

Witchend · 31/07/2016 22:57

Df likes to remind his dbro that he broke his tank. They're in their 70s.

It is friendly banter now though.

Zxzx · 31/07/2016 23:04

I have four who are now at Uni and they squabbled until they left home. They are close in age and I think they were a bit unusual in that they constantly played together. I tried to console myself by telling myself that they only squabbled so much because they hung out with each other so much.
The upside is that they now don't squabble but are still close.

My kids were very well behaved in all other respects but I could never get them to stop squabbling. I found it really annoying.

planeymcplaneface · 31/07/2016 23:21

My sisters are 27, almost 18 and im 24 and we still argue, bicker and squabble 😂

GiddyOnZackHunt · 31/07/2016 23:26

One of them will leave home eventually.
When they get a little bit older you can keep them apart or distract them.

Mummyoftwo91 · 31/07/2016 23:28

Mine are 1.5 and 4.5 and they argue so much, rarely play nice together they spend every day fighting

M00nUnit · 31/07/2016 23:34

My sister and I stopped squabbling when she was 18 and I was 16. I think it was her going to university that changed things - I realised I missed her when she was away and so when she came back for the holidays I appreciated her more. She'd matured a lot too and stopped so being mean to me. We're I'm our 40s now and still get on great.

Putthatonyourneedles · 01/08/2016 01:02

Oh I honestly thought they would grow out of it. I've got a 18 month old and a 3.5 year old who constantly fight, argue and beat each other up. Doesn't matter how many dinosaurs there are they want the same one, even buying two doesn't solve it.

Going to work is viewed as a bit of a break from it

KC225 · 01/08/2016 01:43

Twins, one minute apart age 9. Their days are spent plotting and bickering. Mostly bickering

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 01/08/2016 01:53

I'm 36, my sister is 34. We love each other dearly, but still bicker, fall out with one another at the drop of a hat, sulk, whine to my mother about the other and are fearsomely competitive. I expect it will last til one of us drops dead and has become something of a default mode of interacting with one another.

Written down it seems even more petty than it did in my head.

Kitsandkids · 01/08/2016 08:28

As previous posters have said, for some people it never ends! It did for me and my brother. Probably when we were early to mid teens. When we were younger he used to wind me up, I would whinge, mum would tell us both off etc. But that stopped.

His wife and her brother though still often squabble and argue.

I have 2 boys aged 7 and 8 and there is lots of competitiveness and squabbling. They often come home with tales of something one of them said or did to the other one in the playground at school. I always suggest they stay away from each other and play with their own friends yet, despite the rivalry, they seem drawn to one another like magnets!

Savagebeauty · 01/08/2016 08:33

My DC's 19 and 17 don't get on at all. They bicker and now just avoid each other. We don't do anything now all together as I can't stand it.

Piemernator · 01/08/2016 08:56

They are rivals for your attention. I am part of a huge family of 6 but my older siblings are a lot older than me so I spent almost 4 years as the only small child the rest were teenagers. Cue arrival of younger sis as my Mother had her unexpecdantly at almost 45. I hated her on sight, we still have a bizarre love hate relationship.

The whole premise of having siblings for company for each other can be total bullshit.

teenmumandsowhat · 01/08/2016 09:43

My dd (aged 3) and my ds (aged 2), have fought constantly since my ds could sit up! And yet when out I public they like to put a big show on and hug/ kiss/ hold hands etc

We reached current peak rivalry last year when my dd opened TWO babygate and pushed her brother down the stairs, all in the time it took me to change a battery in the toy they wanted...

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 01/08/2016 09:47

The whole premise of having siblings for company for each other can be total bullshit.

Yep. Our social circle contains a high degree of only children and they seem to have an unrealistic and idealised view of what a sibling relationship is like and in saying ' I wish I had a brother or sister' they are unaccustomed to the reality of having a sibling.

There's no guarantee they'll be a harmonious relationship and as you point out, as they are competing for finite resources, parental attention, time, money, toys and food, it is more likely than not that the relationship will be fractious than not. Even if they do become close in later life, I've never met siblings of a similar age where there childhood and teenage years didn't revolve around conflict.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 01/08/2016 09:49

*where there childhood and teenage years didn't revolve around conflict.x l

their, not there!*

*Copies it out ten times in margin.

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